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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

My wife has a weird habit of starting conversations by saying, “Are you even listening to me?”

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

So deep in her Instagram story, I accidentally liked an ad for a Toyota.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

Last year I had no valentine, this year I also have no valentine. Consistency!

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

You should never forget where you came from. That’s probably where your keys are.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

It’s amazing to think that a Penguin wrote all of those classic books.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I hate the sounds you make when you chew.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

I’m a people pleaser, unless you don’t like that. Then I’m not.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

I think I’ma end the year with a plot twist, everyone hold on tight.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

Crazy part about being an overthinker is most times you right.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

Humanity doesn’t always make a compelling case for its continued existence.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2418 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,580

Funny Quotes Topics

15,251

Funny Quotes Images

12,580

41 minutes ago

3,454

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on WhatsApp:

When kids try to guess your age it will either be completely flattering or utterly devastating, but never correct.

Going viral on Reddit:

I’ve cooked for men I should have poisoned, so yeah, I do have self-control.

Freshly posted on X:

“You’re acting weird!” I’m not acting.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I’m forming a Wham! cover band with 3 other bald guys called Hairless Whisper.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

“I asked Grok.” “I asked ChatGPT.” Well, I’ve sacrificed a sheep.

Breaking via Twitch:

I’m not making any resolutions. I think it’s time for the years to be better, not me.

Breaking via Threads:

Welcome to Elephant in the Room club, no one talks about it.

Spotted on Messenger:

I don’t want flying cars, I want the ability to start again from my last save point.

Seen just now on Discord:

Probably the most empowered I’ve ever felt was that time I stuck a fork in a socket.

Spotted on Facebook:

Running from your problems is cardio.

Netflix should’ve just maybe mailed us all this fight on DVD.

Jan 27, 2025

Netflix should’ve just maybe mailed us all this fight on DVD.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Maybe Netflix missed a trick by not sending us all a DVD of this epic fight – because who doesn't love snail mail, right? 📬💿😂 Plus, imagine the bonus features, like director's commentary and blooper reel! 🎬🤣 #MailboxAndChill"

DVD, entertainment, fight, humor, joke, just, mail, maybe, Netflix, streaming, us

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2418 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,580

Funny Quotes Topics

15,251

Funny Quotes Images

12,580

41 minutes ago

3,443

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

Not to brag or anything, but I can forget what I’m doing while I’m doing it.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

I know sacrifice. I’m willing to pluck a few extra hairs to get to the white ones.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

Sorry, can’t. I’m currently nodding in class so the teacher doesn’t feel sad.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

Your reply guys are like Pooh Bear. They wear no pants and are relentlessly trying to get in your honeypot.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

One sec, lemme just find the off switch for my brain.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

How many sit-ups do I have to do before I get a six-pack? Please say 5.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

Sex in the snow is wintercourse.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

One of my biggest fears during a zombie apocalypse is having to sleep without a fan.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

To everyone who wrote “stay cool” in my year book, I have some devastating news.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

“You’re so self-aware!” Thanks, it’s ruining my life.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via X:

Tell me I’d look good in a potato sack or lose me forever.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Life is not a fairy tale. If you lose your shoe at midnight, you’re drunk.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I would only enjoy the Met Gala if at the end of that runway they all walked into a volcano.

Just landed via Telegram:

Welcome to your 40s—you run out of breath trying to find your running shoes.

Making waves on Reddit:

Before I had kids I was only vaguely aware that Saturday had a 7am.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

The weather’s got more mood swings than a reality show reunion.

Just shared via Instagram:

I know everything is expensive right now, but just remember correcting people’s grammar online is still free.

Going viral on X:

Elevators frighten me. I take steps to avoid them.

Going viral on Facebook:

Dinosaurs never had coffee, and we see how that turned out.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

If you’re soft, don’t come to my house, cause my kids will roast you.

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