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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

If chickens knew how good they tasted, they would understand.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

I think every app should, by law, let you deactivate all of its short-form video content.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

Hey, sorry I acted weird the other day. I was trying so hard to act normal that it backfired.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

It’s really sad that April Fools is the only day people are appropriately skeptical of stuff they read on the internet.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

I hope we’re good friends until we die, then I hope we can stay ghost friends, walk through walls and scare people.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

Your childhood wasn’t complete unless you were chased by a dog… or a goat… or even worse, a chicken.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

A driver that delivers Indian food is called a curryer.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

Children really brighten up a home. They never turn the lights off, …

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

My therapist should also do my nails while we’re talking.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

Kim Kardashian wants her ashes to be scattered in the sea after her death. As if there wasn’t enough plastic there already.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,688

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Threads:

Not just anyone can be cremated. You have to urn it.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Yes, I was behind the DJ booth, but only as a cultural anthropologist.

Seen just now on Threads:

I’m at the “buy bigger jeans” part of my Eat. Pray. Love. journey.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

*Pointing at a mothers shrieking baby* Is this guy bothering you?

Trending via Twitch:

This generation of men makes celibacy so easy for women.

Live now on Instagram:

Some people stay in the past because that’s where they peaked.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

My future husband is very lucky; he will never stay hungry, because I know so many restaurants with delicious food.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Obituaries should have clickbait titles.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I’ve got the nativity scene facing the TV, so baby Jesus can watch “Die Hard.”

Just landed via Telegram:

“You are what you eat”. I don’t remember eating a huge disappointment.

Netflix should’ve just maybe mailed us all this fight on DVD.

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Netflix should’ve just maybe mailed us all this fight on DVD.
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Commentary:
"Maybe Netflix missed a trick by not sending us all a DVD of this epic fight – because who doesn't love snail mail, right? 📬💿😂 Plus, imagine the bonus features, like director's commentary and blooper reel! 🎬🤣 #MailboxAndChill"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

95 shares on Discord this month:

Giving people access to the internet was a massive mistake.

55 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I see no action figures, puzzles, or board games. I thought you said you wanted to play with me.

73 shares on WeChat this month:

I’d stalk me too, I get it.

99 shares on TikTok this month:

Nobody ever talks about how Sodom and Gomorrah were walkable cities.

87 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Sorry I marked myself as safe on Facebook after your PowerPoint presentation.

17 shares on Reddit this month:

Knowledge is like underwear. It is useful to have it, but not necessary to show it off.

10 shares on X this month:

Like me, the weather is getting cooler around here.

68 shares on Slack this month:

Establish dominance by asking your dentist if he’s flossing everyday.

88 shares on Slack this month:

If I honk at this person, maybe it will make them a better person.

58 shares on Pinterest this month:

Zombies started running in movies and life has been chaotic since.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I will improve my life after I doom scroll a little more. Yes.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

People who live alone should get one practice conversation before they have to speak out loud for the first time that day.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

My computer: Consider changing your password. Me: Consider fighting me in the streets.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

The lion does not concern himself with Microsoft Teams.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes your ankle takes a vacation while you’re walking.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I tried to embrace my flaws. They filed a restraining order.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Why is Subway asking me for a tip? Bro, we made this sandwich together.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m addicted to placebos.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Some hoodies don’t hoodie the way other hoodies hoodie.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

TVs are like, literally, the only thing that has gotten cheaper as I’ve gotten older.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,539

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

At least I can say I tried. I didn’t try, but I can say I did.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

Engaging in deforestation (trimming my bush).

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

When I tell you “I’m open to feedback” I’m telling you to be nice to me or I’ll resort to violence.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

Saw a big spider crawl into my closet last night. He’s probably in there trying on all my clothes, acting like he’s me.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

Another day on this hamster wheel to nowhere.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

Sorry I’m late. I was in the car waiting for my song to end.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

I’m 6 donuts away from being the elephant in the room.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

Got a scam email full of mistakes like they’re not even trying. It won’t be long before AI takes their jobs.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

They should have made a pool raft that looked like a broken door when Titanic was in theaters. I bet it would have sold millions.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

I was going to learn to play the violin, but it was too much of a commitment. I wanted something with no strings attached.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Discord:

Somebody needs to get my shit together.

Making waves on TikTok:

Establish dominance over your children by whining louder.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Probably always gonna be the weirdo that believes in magic.

Making waves on TikTok:

Apparently you’re not supposed to announce that there’s been a death in the family every time you kill a houseplant.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

When I moved into my new igloo, my friends threw me a surprise housewarming party. Now I’m homeless.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I want a man who doesn’t annoy me while I’m constantly getting on his nerves. It can’t be that difficult.

Making waves on TikTok:

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.

Just landed via Discord:

A dating app for people who self sabotage called Hinder.

Going viral on Telegram:

I may not be the smartest or most athletic man in the world. There’s no second part to this, keep scrolling.

Just shared via Reddit:

I only went to medical school to figure out where your arms are supposed to go when you sleep and they didn’t even teach us that.

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