Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Be cautious of those beaming beings! 😁 Either they're scheming to sell you a bridge 🌉 or are missing a bulb 💡 in the chandelier upstairs! 💁‍♂️ #BrightSmilesButDimMinds"

bright, humor, people, sarcasm, selling, smile, trust

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

People who wear jeans for fun around their house have bodies buried in their backyard.

0

2 months ago

around, backyard, body, buried, domestic, domestic life, fashion, fun, house, humor, jeans, life, people, wear
Called myself to see if I’d answer, sent me to voicemail. Twice.

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2 months ago

answer, call, conversation, humor, ID, irony, joke, loneliness, me, myself, self, twice, voicemail
The fact Head and Shoulders doesn’t have a body wash called Knees and Toes, is disappointing.

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3 weeks ago

body, body wash, brand, called, disappointment, fact, head, Head and Shoulders, humor, hygiene, idea, knees, product, product idea, shampoo, shoulders, t, wash
I’m single because of everyone else’s shortcomings.

0

2 months ago

dating, everyone, expectations, humor, relationship, self-reflection, shortcomings, single
The problem with relationships these days is you don’t know if you’re the one being cheated on, or cheated with.

0

3 weeks ago

being, cheating, dating, days, humor, infidelity, know, problem, relationship, relationships, trust
Having divorced parents as an adult is funny because you and your siblings are like, “Damn, who has custody of Mom today?”

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5 months ago

adult, custody, divorce, family, Funny, having, humor, mom, parent, parents, sibling, siblings, today

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

32 shares on Instagram this month:

In the future, there will be grandmas who can’t bake but have tattoos on their backs.

99 shares on Slack this month:

I SAID YES!!!!!! after I asked myself if I wanted a breakfast burrito.

64 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Going to have a hobbit boi summer (throw a huge birthday party for myself, then mysteriously vanish right after insulting everyone).

27 shares on Instagram this month:

“Hey you!” is short for “I have no idea what your name is.”

26 shares on WeChat this month:

“This isn’t going to end well for you.” Me, alone in the house, to the cake on the counter.

99 shares on YouTube this month:

More dangerous than a lion that roars is a woman gone silent.

20 shares on Twitch this month:

Your coworker is not hot; they’re just within 10 feet of you 40 hours a week.

41 shares on Twitch this month:

Arguing through text will have you standing in one spot for 40 mins.

14 shares on Twitch this month:

Every morning I wake up and make the worst possible time management decisions anyone has ever made.

78 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The grass isn’t really greener over there; that’s just a filter.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

Wonder what I should wear to World War III.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

Being an adult means your pain never goes away, it just migrates to a new location in your body.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

I may forget what I opened the fridge for but I remember every time anyone has ever wronged me.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

If you want to experience hunger, go and live with a wealthy person or family.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

They should invent a self-checkout where someone else scans the items and puts them in a bag.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

Homeless man just called me a “loser,” and I showed him my house keys.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

Today I bought a doughnut without sprinkles. This diet thing is hard.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

Can you turn your swag off for one second and listen?

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

You ran a half marathon? That’s really cool, I’ve almost finished a bunch of things, too.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

You can tell it’s desperate times the way spam messages have gone from fantasies like ‘I am a prince and I want to give you money’ to ‘I am an HR manager and I have a real job for you!’

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I’m not saying Lois Lane is a bad investigative journalist, but my friend Greg didn’t wear glasses to work yesterday and I recognized him by lunch time.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Mama didn’t raise no fool, I turned into one all on my own.

Spotted on Telegram:

Watering plants qualifies as a hobby.

Just landed via YouTube:

Crashed my car reading a billboard that said, “Don’t text and drive.”

Shared recently on Discord:

Dear Math, I don’t want to solve your problem, I have my own problems to solve.

Shared recently on Threads:

Working on a laptop outside is an abysmal experience.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Just blocked all the ugly people, so if you see this… what’s up, big sexy?

Seen just now on Twitch:

Somewhere there’s a girl ignoring 15 guys for a guy who gives her no attention.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Thinking of starting a true crime podcast. Gotta explain this search history somehow.

Just shared via Messenger:

Do I work hard? No. But do I work smart to compensate. Absolutely not.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Never trust people who smile constantly. They’re either selling something or not very bright.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

People who wear jeans for fun around their house have bodies buried in their backyard.

Called myself to see if I’d answer, sent me to voicemail. Twice.

The fact Head and Shoulders doesn’t have a body wash called Knees and Toes, is disappointing.

I’m single because of everyone else’s shortcomings.

The problem with relationships these days is you don’t know if you’re the one being cheated on, or cheated with.

Having divorced parents as an adult is funny because you and your siblings are like, “Damn, who has custody of Mom today?”

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨