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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

Fog. When nature is too lazy to load the complete environment.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

Sunday should be 48 hours instead of 24 hours, I need more time to be ready for Monday.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

The subtle art of letting yourself go crazy once in a while.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

If you know karate, you shouldn’t have to pay for stuff.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

I had zero respect for my boss until he started appearing exclusively by hologram.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

They should invent a life where I know what I’m doing.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

“I should’ve peed before I left,” will be my epitaph.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

Harry Potter is sort of crazy. I would have never fought a war for my high school.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

How can I be ready for the future when I’m not even ready to get up in the morning?

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

I think the key to happiness is having plenty of money and then telling all the poor people that money can’t buy happiness.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,690

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Facebook:

I think during winter we should also get to work less hours in a day, just like the sun.

Going viral on Discord:

I don’t understand construction. Like, how do they know what to do next?

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Not sure who needs to hear this, but make your bloody bed.

Spotted on Snapchat:

At some point, I need to admit my ‘guilty pleasure’ music taste is just my music taste now.

Breaking via Discord:

Sometimes you choose the GIF-war over your responsibilities.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

If I ever go missing, check the snack aisle. I’m probably just deciding.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Wanna go back to my place and meow at each other?

Making waves on Twitch:

What a lot of people don’t understand about mountain climbing is that don’t do that.

Spotted on WeChat:

That very depressing moment when you find out the fire alarm that went off at work was just a test.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Come on, brain, release the happy chemicals.

New COVID variant tries to sell you an extended auto warranty.

4 weeks ago

Witty text about a new COVID variant humorously comparing it to a shady auto warranty pitch.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like this new COVID variant is not only spreading quickly but also has a side hustle as a telemarketer! 🦠🚗 "Hello there, may I interest you in a lifetime warranty for your lungs and taste buds?" 😂 #COVIDVariantSalesPitch

auto, Covid, humor, insurance, joke, new, pandemic, satire, sell, variant, warranty

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

84 shares on Twitch this month:

Why is nobody questioning the quietness of the cosmos?

37 shares on Discord this month:

God sends you an only child as a friend to test you.

97 shares on Twitch this month:

I waste a lot of time putting my phone down to just pick it back up again.

10 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Life is short, unless you’re listening to a kid describing an episode of PAW Patrol.

35 shares on Telegram this month:

Might quit my job to focus on actually putting away my laundry.

21 shares on Slack this month:

Sorry I missed your call 8 months ago. Is everything okay?

97 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I only buy cookware with the handles that somehow get hotter than the pot itself.

79 shares on Threads this month:

Tonight we shall read a passage from the old testicle.

47 shares on WhatsApp this month:

“But it’s summer,” is going to be my excuse for everything from now until the end of September.

19 shares on WeChat this month:

It’s ok to not have a Valentine on Valentine’s Day. I didn’t have a groundhog on Groundhog’s Day.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

It seems a little unfair that the people who want to go to bed have to put the people to bed who don’t want to go to bed.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

It should be socially acceptable to just face the wall at a party when you need a break from talking.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Body: time to fall asleep. Brain: hey, that’s an interesting thought, here’s six billion more.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

If anything goes wrong today, just dramatically whisper, “The prophecy has been fulfilled,” and walk away.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t carry my wallet to work because I’m afraid someone will steal it while I’m sleeping.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

So many songs that tell you to throw your hands in the air like you just don’t care, so few about the hazards of ceiling fans.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

You ever see a woman so beautiful it makes you momentarily mentally ill?

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Instead of writing letters, let’s wait a week before texting each other back so it still feels like it.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Canadian Thanksgiving isn’t the same day as Thanksgiving in the US because Canadians already put gravy on everything every day.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I bring a sort of “this isn’t actually urgent” vibe to the workplace that managers don’t like.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,651

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

I withdraw my argument. I didn’t realize you had a meme to back you up.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

Nose so runny it just signed me up for a 10k.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

One of the biggest struggles of being an adult is deciding what to make for supper. Every. Single. Night.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

That sound when you close the cupboard and hear something fall inside, that’s the sound of somebody else’s problem.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

Lies I tell myself: Just one more cookie. Just one more movie. Just one more minute.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

What is rizz if not swag persevering?!

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

I just want everyone to know that somebody cares. Not me, but somebody does.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

I be like “communication is the key” then put my phone on do not disturb.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

Unfortunately, I could never be nonchalant because I am not well in the head, and also my soul is on fire.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

Just imagine how great life would be if pizza made you skinny.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Twitch:

Nobody knows what to do with me and I just think that’s beautiful.

Just landed via Twitch:

All I want for Christmas this year is the housing market to crash, so I could buy a 5-bedroom, 4-bathroom house for $3.

Just landed via Facebook:

Sorry, I liked your post one second after you posted it but in my defense, I’ve had my phone in my hand since 2012.

Trending via Discord:

“I’ll just iron my clothes for work in the morning,” he thought in stupid bachelor.

Live now on WeChat:

Not gonna lie, I just assume everyone is AI now.

Trending via Facebook:

I don’t have gray hair, I have wisdom highlights.

Seen just now on Reddit:

It-is-what-it-is-ing my way through the collapse of civilization.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

The week between Christmas and New Year’s should be studied as it is clearly a wormhole, disturbing time and space.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

How can I be expected to get out of bed when I don’t want to?

Going bananas on Reddit:

Always keep a bottle of wine in the fridge for special occasions. Like Wednesday.

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