Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

Has anyone ever considered that Dr. Pepper could be a gynecologist?

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

Got banned from the sauna at my gym for saying “steam me up, Scotty” a few too many times.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

It’s time to stare blankly at my wall for hours straight and think about where I went wrong with my life.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

Summer is here. Always put on some suncream to help the rain run off.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

My life would be pointless without cheese. Or as the famous song goes: “Ain’t no sunshine when cheese gone!”

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

I like to put “No DMs” in my bio to pretend that I’m attractive.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

Nothing I do for money is passion-based. It’s just pure hatred for being broke.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

When I was young, I couldn’t wait to be older. Well, I wasn’t expecting this shit!

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

Being a serial killer is much like being a comedian, in that you either hit it big and get your own Netflix special, or you spend eternity popping up on shitty podcasts.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

I’m cosplaying as a functional adult again.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

483 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Jan 15, 2026

3,480

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Twitch:

I need to consult the woods about this.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I would have loads of money if I liked Ramen Noodles and hated vodka.

Just shared via Discord:

Back in the good old days, we didn’t have to trim our toenails, they just got wore down naturally from running from dinosaurs.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

“Out of sight, out of mind” doesn’t work for donuts.

Trending via Messenger:

I can’t believe I slept good all night. What a rush.

Trending via Snapchat:

It’s interesting growing up and learning that most adults are not smart. I had my suspicions as a kid, but I didn’t think the situation was this dire.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Am I the only person who would rather almost fall over carrying the shopping than walk a second time?

Just shared via Twitch:

Felony Vandalism is a beautiful name for a girl.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

Just shared via Messenger:

Exercise won’t cure your depression, but it can make you hotter than your enemies.

New COVID variant tries to sell you an extended auto warranty.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like this new COVID variant is not only spreading quickly but also has a side hustle as a telemarketer! 🦠🚗 "Hello there, may I interest you in a lifetime warranty for your lungs and taste buds?" 😂 #COVIDVariantSalesPitch

auto, Covid, humor, insurance, joke, new, pandemic, satire, sell, variant, warranty

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If you want your kid to play with their toy just give it to your other kid. Follow me for more parenting hacks.

2 months ago

advice, family, follow, give, hack, humor, just, kid, me, parenting, play, sibling, toy, want
I might be late to a lot of places, but the airport is not one of them.

5 months ago

airport, humor, i, late, lateness, lot, places, punctuality, travel
Is it a good sign when your therapist keeps saying Ka-Ching?

2 months ago

good, health, humor, Ka-Ching, mental, mental health, money, saying, sign, signs, therapist, therapy, wealth
We need a word for that weird feeling you get when you learn what a podcaster looks like.

2 months ago

appearance, feeling, humor, learn, learning, looks, need, podcaster, reaction, surprise, weird, weird feeling, word
I put my pants on like everyone else. With hope they still fit.

2 months ago

else, everyday, everyday life, everyone, fashion, fit, hope, humor, i, life, pants, put, still, struggle
Hello darkness, my old friend. Why are you here? It’s 6:00 pm.

2 months ago

conversation, darkness, evening, friend, hello, here, humor, irony, mood, old, time

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

48 shares on YouTube this month:

Interviewer: Can I get you anything? Me: Yeah, a job!

69 shares on Snapchat this month:

“I’m at the age where, if I use the wrong pillow at night, it hurts to turn my head the next day.”

51 shares on Discord this month:

Therapy isn’t enough. I need to be electrocuted and get my memory erased.

23 shares on Telegram this month:

It whistles, doesn’t it? Your head when it’s windy.

88 shares on Instagram this month:

The difference between the kids table and the adults table during holiday dinners is that there is much more screaming, crying, and arguing at the adults table.

43 shares on Messenger this month:

Flip me over like a cassette tape, and play me again.

94 shares on Reddit this month:

McDonald’s only giving me 9 Chicken Nuggets instead of 10 is how my villain origin story began.

69 shares on Facebook this month:

The light at the end of the tunnel is only the headlight of the oncoming train.

16 shares on Slack this month:

I wanna meet the person whose parents are super disappointed he went to medical school instead of becoming a stand-up comedian.

53 shares on YouTube this month:

The worst part of online shopping is having to get up and get your credit card from your purse.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Victor Frankenstein being only 23 years old when he made the monster is crazy to me, he should have been at the club.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Boy, did The Shining nail what it’s like being an only child.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I have three kids. I should be terrified of sex.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Inventor of pink lemonade: yes, exactly the same, but cute and for the girls.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Being loved right feels like telepathy and a little bit of witchcraft.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Spotify wrapped is like my annual mental health report and it’s getting worse by each passing year.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not flirting with you. I’m just funny and you think you like me.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Nobody stresses a woman out more than a man who isn’t her man yet.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t fall for me — I’ll treat you right, and you’ll get bored and cheat.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I love mirrors because they remind me of how pretty I am.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

483 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 15, 2026

Users Online

3,587

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

The main reason I got divorced was cause I got married.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

Cheeseburgers should be free for anyone that’s in a bad mood.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

Satan: “I’d tell you to go to Hell, but I work there and don’t wanna see you everyday.”

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

You can fake an American accent all you want, but “literally” will expose you.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

Whoever said, “Laughter is the best medicine,” clearly never tried Revenge.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

Drive as I say, not as I drive.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

That depressing moment when you pull up to work and the building is not engulfed in flames.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

There are TV shows that only exist on the screens of girls’ houses you go to one time and never again.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

Hell, yes, I work out. Somebody has to support the ibuprofen industry.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

The only time you should be faking it is when your pet checks to see if you’re awake.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I would like to thank my middle finger for always sticking up for me when I needed it.

Spotted on Facebook:

I keep forgetting i’m at the age where people will tell me they’re pregnant and my reaction is supposed to be positive.

Trending via Slack:

Let’s just call ourselves divorced now and skip the stressful, expensive bit in the middle.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Welcome to adulthood. You have a favorite gas station now.

Going viral on Reddit:

If my wife doesn’t win anything on this $1 scratch ticket, it’s going to go down as one of the worst anniversary gifts ever.

Trending via WeChat:

My biggest motivation for getting out of bed in the morning is knowing that I’ll eventually be able to get back in it.

Breaking via Slack:

As a Dad, you always want your kids to be prepared for real life, that’s why trolling them is so vital.

Seen just now on Telegram:

British people never go downstairs; they just jump out of a window and open an umbrella like Mary Poppins.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I once hated my job so much that I would come home from work and watch vlogs of people quitting their jobs, wishing it was me.

Making waves on Threads:

The first two drinks don’t count if you have social anxiety, they just turn you into a normal person.

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