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That one person who has zero concept of what an indoor voice is.

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At my age, a trail of clothes leading to the bedroom, means I dropped them on the way from the dryer.

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The worst part about re-watching Home Alone is you just know Kevinโ€™s parents bought this house for like $250K.

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My workout goals are simple: Iโ€™d just like to be able to get up off the floor without looking like a turtle trying to flip itself back over.

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“AI is coming for your job.” Yeah, I’d like to see AI drink 11 coffees, then have a panic attack.

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Everyoneโ€™s all up in arms about how undemocratic the electoral college is and yet we let our weather be decided by a single unelected groundhog.

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Today I bought a doughnut without sprinkles. This diet thing is hard.

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Airlines when they need to change your flight: hereโ€™s a complimentary napkin. Airlines when you need to change your flight: thatโ€™ll be $8700.

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Just googled โ€œinsanityโ€ over and over but was expecting different results.

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Realizing this yogurt I’m eating is more active and cultured than I am.

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New COVID variant tries to sell you an extended auto warranty.

New COVID variant tries to sell you an extended auto warranty.

Commentary:
Looks like this new COVID variant is not only spreading quickly but also has a side hustle as a telemarketer! ๐Ÿฆ ๐Ÿš— "Hello there, may I interest you in a lifetime warranty for your lungs and taste buds?" ๐Ÿ˜‚ #COVIDVariantSalesPitch



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