Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

What’s your favorite song about a white boy playing funky music?

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

There is nothing worse in life than calling customer service and hearing an Indian accent.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

Maybe your baby is crying because it doesn’t like you.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

Don’t interrupt me while I’m embarrassing myself.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

The word abbreviation sure is long for what it means.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

Don’t worry, guys. Together we can eliminate logic and reason on social media. I see some of you are already ahead of the game. Way to go!

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

Kid, I have jeans older than you.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

Having to pee when you’re driving is problematic. Having to sneeze when you’re driving is even more problematic.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

Want to come over? We can trauma dump, take a nap, and then order a pizza and watch a movie.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

I love sleeping so much that it is the first thing I think about when I wake up.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

239 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,508

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,508

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,647

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Facebook:

Is ‘ugh’ an emotion? Because I fell it all the time.

Spotted on Reddit:

Have kids so you can fully appreciate how well your dog listens.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

As you get older, nothing loses its sting more than an authority figure saying they are disappointed in you. Like, I don’t know what to tell you, dude, we can’t both live in the prison of your expectations.

Seen just now on Telegram:

With a cat on your lap, you deal better with the crap.

Going viral on Instagram:

After you’ve been married a long time, you become able to communicate nonverbally. At least, I’m pretty sure that’s why we never speak.

Shared recently on Discord:

Why are there people outside at the same time as me? It’s my turn.

Just shared via YouTube:

I’m very strong, but not in a get a jar open kinda way.

Making waves on YouTube:

My recliner and I go way back.

Spotted on Threads:

What bootlickers fail to understand is that the boot eventually comes for them too.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I’m sorry, being on social media gave you the impression I’m a social person.

No, thanks—social drama. Puberty sucked enough the first time around.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Social drama: the sequel nobody asked for! 🍿🙅‍♂️ #BeenThereDoneThat"

adolescence, around, awkwardness, drama, enough, humor, puberty, self-deprecation, social, social drama, teenage, teenage years, time, year’s

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

January-me would not believe the life I lived this year.

0

2 months ago

believe, disbelief, humor, i, January, life, lived, me, reflection, year
I hate when I change the battery in the bathroom scale, and it starts telling the truth again.

0

2 months ago

again, bathroom, bathroom scale, battery, change, frustration, hate, honesty, humor, i, scale, telling, truth, weight
No, no, I’m listening, it just takes me some time to process so much stupidity all at once.

0

2 months ago

humor, just, listening, me, process, stupidity, time, wit
That strange moment when you are trying to be serious, but then you accidentally smile.

0

2 months ago

accidentally, expression, feelings, humor, moment, serious, smile, strange, trying
Nothing is more fake than my friendliness on the phone at work.

0

2 months ago

communication, fake, friendliness, humor, nothing, phone, sarcasm, work, workplace
For your own sanity, move on like you never knew them, because in reality, you never did.

0

5 months ago

advice, emotional, emotional health, forgetting, health, humor, memory, mindset, move, move on, never, own, reality, relationship, sanity

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

30 shares on Slack this month:

I see no action figures, puzzles, or board games. I thought you said you wanted to play with me.

19 shares on Facebook this month:

I hope I don’t die of something stupid like old age, I want a piano to fall on my head.

96 shares on YouTube this month:

The lion doesn’t concern itself with the contents of your prior email.

30 shares on Facebook this month:

Screaming into the abyss has lost some of its effectiveness, if I’m being honest.

38 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The PhD student is someone who foregoes their current happiness in order to forego future happiness.

73 shares on Slack this month:

I wish anxiety came with french fries.

52 shares on Twitch this month:

My life would be pointless without cheese. Or as the famous song goes: “Ain’t no sunshine when cheese gone!”

98 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Facebook: because time isn’t going to pass on it’s own.

80 shares on Messenger this month:

If you really think about it, extraordinary isn’t that great. It’s just an extra helping of ordinary.

61 shares on Telegram this month:

There’s no need to put a little umbrella in my drink. It’s already wet.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

David Attenborough narrating my life: “He’s still sleeping.”

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

If you respond, “A reason for living,” when a store employee asks if they can help you find something, they will leave you alone.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

Asbestos? I’m doing asbestos I can.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

Not looking for a sugar daddy, but something more of a pay pal.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

If the only person you’re competing with is yourself, how could you lose?

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

I really think tossing and turning at night should be counted as exercise.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

Called in, “If we’re living in a simulation, just simulate that I’m in the office today.”

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

It’s like my wish isn’t even your command anymore…

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

Tomorrow isn’t promised, so eat that cake today.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

Yes, hello, I’d like to exchange my generational trauma for generational wealth, please.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

It’s weird when you realize we are the last generation on this Earth to know what lite was like before social media.

Going viral on TikTok:

Social media has dragged humans back into Plato’s cave, and chained them there.

Trending via WeChat:

Bok Choy is a dope name for a vegetable.

Spotted on X:

I was dismayed to hear the story of Rumpelstiltskin. I had no idea he was like that outside of work.

Just landed via YouTube:

My optimism doesn’t come out of thin air. A flask is involved.

Trending via Pinterest:

I’m old enough to remember when rainbows were in black and white.

Trending via Telegram:

Somebody just told me I was living the dream, I can assure you I have never dreamt of this shit right here.

Going bananas on X:

What’s a positive thought for beginners? I’ve been getting into optimism lately.

Going viral on Threads:

The only reason I’d want to go to heaven is to complain to the manager.

Going bananas on Telegram:

You don’t scare me. You’re not a parking garage that I can’t figure out how to get out of.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

No, thanks—social drama. Puberty sucked enough the first time around.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

January-me would not believe the life I lived this year.

I hate when I change the battery in the bathroom scale, and it starts telling the truth again.

No, no, I’m listening, it just takes me some time to process so much stupidity all at once.

That strange moment when you are trying to be serious, but then you accidentally smile.

Nothing is more fake than my friendliness on the phone at work.

For your own sanity, move on like you never knew them, because in reality, you never did.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨