Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

I don’t remember if I was 43 or 44 before my birthday, so now I don’t know if I’m 44 or 45. That’s your 40’s.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

Family fistfights brought to you by Monopoly.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

“Yeah no” is my favorite combo.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

My husband has entered the “fun socks” years.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

I’m currently on a really effective diet called “I only have twenty dollars until payday”.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

Fun Fact: Dove chocolate tastes way better than their soap.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

It’s a paradox that your nose is running and your feet smell.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

Pouring an ice-cold glass of anxiety.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

Welcome to Twitter: yeah, none of us can sleep either.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

How great is it to do absolutely nothing and follow it up by taking a rest.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,310

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Snapchat:

They say we learn from our mistakes, that’s why I’m making as many as possible. Soon I’ll be a genius.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I’m in a comfy dress today, but I look like a potato in floral. Call me Nelly Flortato.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Did the people you had a crush on always like you back or are you funny?

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

So, does anyone know how to end mass religious psychosis, or is it just a thing now until we slowly die off from climate-induced disasters?

Trending via Discord:

Camping? No, thank you. If I wanted to sleep outside, I wouldn’t pay my mortgage.

Spotted on Reddit:

Hello, I’m a professor in a movie. I only reach the main point of my lecture right as class is ending. Then I yell at students about the reading / homework as they leave.

Trending via Discord:

We all know that mirrors don’t lie. I’m just very grateful that they don’t laugh.

Just shared via TikTok:

The best way to get through Monday is to pretend it’s Tuesday.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Exorcist came by. Says house isn’t possessed, just incredibly poorly built.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Hey girl, are you a burger? Because I love you.

No wine. No peace. Know wine. Know peace.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When grapes become grape-ful, everything falls into place 🍇🍷✌️

drink, humor, know, peace, pun, relaxation, wine, wordplay

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Why do men stay in the car for minutes after arriving home?

0

5 months ago

after, car, home, humor, men, minutes, question, stay, waiting, why
Have you ever pretended not to look at the biscuits or sweets being handed around the room, and acted surprised when you got offered one?

0

4 weeks ago

around, being, biscuits, eating, ever, food, got, handed, humor, pretend, room, situation, snack, social, social situation, surprise, sweet, sweets, temptation
Did 900 crunches today. It was a bag of Cheetos, but still.

0

2 months ago

bag, Cheeto, cheetos, crun, exercise, fitness, humor, irony, self-deprecation, snack, still, today
Found a picture of me sitting on Santa’s lap. Hard to believe it’s been a whole year.

0

2 months ago

activity, believe, childhood, found, fun, fun activity, hard, holiday, lap, me, nostalgia, picture, Santa, sitting, whole, year
If you wish me a happy Thanksgiving, don’t be surprised if I whip out a ziplock bag and ask you to bring me home some leftovers.

0

2 months ago

bag, bring, food, happy, holiday, home, humor, leftover, me, request, Thanksgiving, wish, ziplock, ziplock bag
I may be sensitive, but everyone else could be a little kinder, too.

0

2 months ago

communication, else, empathy, everyone, feelings, humor, i, kinder, kindness, little, personality, sensitive, too

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

83 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Sure the Lego botanical sets are great but dusting them is another story.

97 shares on Snapchat this month:

That “never again” talk with yourself after a certain experience is always funny.

12 shares on Messenger this month:

My fitness goal is to lose two straight jacket sizes.

49 shares on YouTube this month:

Big city friend is complaining about a 10 minute wait for a subway while I sit here waiting for the rail replacement horse.

36 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m ready for a new relationship. My past is buried in the backyard, to fertilize the tomatoes.

71 shares on Reddit this month:

Signatures are so unserious, just “pinky promise” for adults. Write your name in a silly little way on this very important piece of paper so we that we can send you to jail if you do anything wrong.

47 shares on Slack this month:

If I’m ever on life support, unplug me, then plug me back in. See if that works.

46 shares on WeChat this month:

The only thing that drains faster than my phone battery is my bank account.

55 shares on YouTube this month:

I have lots of hidden talents. The problem is, even I can’t find them.

35 shares on X this month:

If you’re going to be weird, be confident about it.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

And are the people who find you “hilarious” in the room with us now?

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

We always asked “where is Waldo” but never “who is Waldo hiding from”.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

I have an emotional support chicken roasting in the oven.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

I’m going to break into your house and steal that thing with the little wheels on it under the plate in your microwave.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

I’m beginning to think that for some of you, the wheels on the bus do not go round and round.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

Why do my kids have Veteran’s Day off, they haven’t done shit.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

When something Asian becomes popular enough, it becomes Mexican.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can’t even get into my own pants.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

I ordered a new umbrella on Amazon and had it delivered straight to the lost and found office to maximize efficiency.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

I’m gonna build a pirate ship and sail the high seas. Who’s coming with?

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via TikTok:

The way some people hold their cell phone to make a call, I always think they’re trying to take a bite out of a sandwich.

Trending via WeChat:

I wish my Fitbit could track all the steps I’ve taken trying to find where I put it.

Spotted on X:

Being bi means you say both yay and bruh.

Shared recently on Threads:

I’m just falling in love with my problems now. Maybe they’ll leave me too.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Me, gently telling my kids that I ate the rest of the ice cream: Your dad ate the rest of the ice cream.

Just shared via YouTube:

Late replies don’t bother me. As long as we’re not in love, or you don’t owe me money, take your time.

Just landed via Instagram:

I’m not going to die because of an accident. Nor because of an illness. But from small talk. Someone will say one boring sentence too many and I’ll drop dead.

Freshly posted on Discord:

The whole “read before you go to bed to get sleepy” thing does not apply to me because I will be up till 5 a.m. if the book is worth it.

Trending via Messenger:

When I say “I’m open to feedback” I mean “I accept compliments.”

Going bananas on Threads:

When I’m on hold and the song ends, I always expect someone to pick up the phone.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

No wine. No peace. Know wine. Know peace.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Why do men stay in the car for minutes after arriving home?

Have you ever pretended not to look at the biscuits or sweets being handed around the room, and acted surprised when you got offered one?

Did 900 crunches today. It was a bag of Cheetos, but still.

Found a picture of me sitting on Santa’s lap. Hard to believe it’s been a whole year.

If you wish me a happy Thanksgiving, don’t be surprised if I whip out a ziplock bag and ask you to bring me home some leftovers.

I may be sensitive, but everyone else could be a little kinder, too.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨