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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

Do people who love escape rooms not know about IKEA?

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

If it ain’t broke, my kids haven’t used it yet.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

Guy on the day of the 1918 armistice, walking around the trench, clapping, saying things like “Great work, everyone,” and “We did it, team.”

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

If we start dating now, we could be feeding each other deviled eggs on Thanksgiving, and breaking up before we have to exchange gifts for Christmas.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

Bro, you’re fine. You just need an impossible sequence of events to play out in perfect order against all odds and you’ll be fine.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

I was blinded by a goddamn deer with a shiny red nose… No, officer, I haven’t been drinking.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

You should be able to mute someone in real life. Annoying coworker? Silence them for 24 hours by booping them on the nose!

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

Forgot my glasses, so I’m pointing at a random spot on the menu and hoping for the best.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

No need for a Halloween costume this year because there’s nothing scarier than being in your mid-20s and not knowing who you are or what you want to do anymore.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

I refuse to listen to anyone give commentary on the state of society unless it’s in a TikTok video filmed inside their car.

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Updated

Feb 3, 2026

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Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Discord:

Due to financial reasons, I will now be performing photosynthesis.

Trending via Telegram:

When old people say, “Long as you happy,” that means you’re pretty dumb.

Making waves on TikTok:

I want to be in Metallica, and they will not let me.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Today I bought a doughnut without sprinkles. This diet thing is hard.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Why is sleeping at night so hard, but sleeping in the morning is like drifting away on a soft, fluffy cloud while Adele sings you a lullaby?

Just landed via Pinterest:

Don’t bother telling me where you’re from, I have no geographical knowledge and no sense of direction.

Breaking via Discord:

I want to be cremated so that I will get a smoking-hot body again.

Breaking via TikTok:

A friend’s boyfriend is not my friend… that is a coworker, at best.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Asserting dominance by starting all my private DMs with “I hope this DM finds you well.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Did you guys hear about the “internet”? Apparently, you can say literally anything there.

Nobody in the entire world has ever known what to do with me.

18 hours ago

Funny Quotes

Playful quote about feeling misunderstood, with a humorous and self-deprecating vibe.

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Commentary:
Sounds like you're a puzzle without the box lid for instructions! 🤔🧩

confusion, ever, identity, me, misunderstanding, nobody, self, uniqueness, world

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56 shares on Threads this month:

Eating cookies left for Santa because the cowboy was a no show.

14 shares on YouTube this month:

Theo Von’s entire life is like a raccoon that visits New York City.

16 shares on Telegram this month:

I hate being in that mood where nothing’s really wrong but nothing feels right either.

23 shares on Pinterest this month:

Adulthood will turn Gmail into part of your social media routine.

83 shares on Telegram this month:

I did nothing wrong. I tried to do nothing and did it wrong.

85 shares on Discord this month:

People who listen to their sad playlist when they’re happy are a different breed of unstable.

71 shares on Pinterest this month:

For my future, I wish for another planet and a ticket to get there.

13 shares on Discord this month:

Is this simulation from Temu?

48 shares on X this month:

If I’d married a wealthier man, I’d be lying on a fancier couch right now refusing to clean bigger rooms.

63 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m eating sandwiches you haven’t heard of in jeans you can’t pronounce.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

Sex is cool, but have you ever had a can opener that actually works?

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

Tonight, my poor liver has to pay again for what went wrong during the week.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

Micro-dosing time travel by going to bed.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

Sorry you thought I I was flirting with you; I had something in my eye.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

Thinking of starting a true crime podcast. Gotta explain this search history somehow.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

Tattoo idea for men: spider webs in the corners of the receding hairline.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

Me (seductively looking at a potato): would mash.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

My New Year’s resolution is to emit a powerful beam of light.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

They’re making me get out of bed.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

I want to text this person, but I need to have shame and self-respect.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Instagram:

When they ask “how was your weekend?” answer “better than yours” and maintain eye contact.

Going bananas on Discord:

I don’t even know what I’d do if a sailor called me a landlubber. I’d probably lose my cool.

Making waves on Reddit:

If reports from this daisy are accurate, she loves me not.

Shared recently on Slack:

You ever been in the middle of a conversation and realized this is why you avoid people?

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Please continue to leave me out of the loop.

Just landed via YouTube:

“You’re in her DMs, my faint presence sits in her Spotify Wrapped through the music I introduced her to. We’re not the same.”

Seen just now on WeChat:

I missed out on drowning tragically young in a suburban swimming pool.

Breaking via Discord:

I believe in annoyed at first sight.

Just landed via Threads:

My favorite 90s skill: Uninstalling my car stereo and hiding it in my glove box in under 15 seconds.

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Activity Log ✨

Nobody in the entire world has ever known what to do with me.

Having an empty laundry basket is the best 5 seconds of my life.

“I saw your ex!” A very unnecessary piece of information.

“I can’t wait to go back to bed tonight!” Me, 5 minutes after waking up.

Back then, my parents were afraid of what I would do on the Internet. Today, I’m afraid of what my parents do on the Internet.

Lazy is such an ugly word. I prefer to call it selective participation.

My favorite part about having a Peloton is telling people I have a Peloton.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Nobody in the entire world has ever known what to do with me.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Having an empty laundry basket is the best 5 seconds of my life.

“I saw your ex!” A very unnecessary piece of information.

“I can’t wait to go back to bed tonight!” Me, 5 minutes after waking up.

Back then, my parents were afraid of what I would do on the Internet. Today, I’m afraid of what my parents do on the Internet.

Lazy is such an ugly word. I prefer to call it selective participation.

My favorite part about having a Peloton is telling people I have a Peloton.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨