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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡¬ has shared:

They say dress for the job you want, so I walk around dressed like Darth Vader.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡― has downloaded:

Yeah, no worries, man. You just showed everyone that you have a lot of resentments bubbling underneath, but otherwise, it was a cool evening.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡Ή has viewed:

I can’t keep up anymore. Happy birthday to everyone for the rest of your life.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡Ή has viewed:

If you think I’m rude, you should hear the voices in my head.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡² has shared:

My ducks: in a row. My elephant: addressed. My eggs: several baskets. My bigger fish: fried.

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡± has downloaded:

Will mosquitoes ever develop a pizza obsession and end their pursuit of human blood?

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡© has viewed:

I have tasted employment, I have tasted joblessness and I recommend generational wealth guys.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡Ή has downloaded:

Source??? Pattern recognition.

Someone from πŸ‡»πŸ‡ͺ has copied:

Writers should get a direct line to the FBI so we can call them and give them a heads up when we’re googling ways to poison someone but just for a story.

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡³ has downloaded:

Bird flu? Yeah, they’re known to do that.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

233 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,502

Funny Quotes Topics

17,569

Funny Quotes Images

15,502

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,532

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Live now on Instagram:

Can’t say “I’m tired” without my mom making it a competition of who is the most tired and who has more reason to be.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Have kids so you can say things you never thought you would like “please don’t vacuum your sister”

Making waves on Slack:

Some people are like ads, just skip.

Trending via Reddit:

People who leave the blinds closed the entire plane ride: who hurt you?

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

I am writing a book about reverse psychology. Please don’t buy it.

Just landed via TikTok:

When one door closes, lock it securely, along with all your other doors and windows, before any inspirational quotes get in.

Going bananas on Reddit:

If they cancel the Simpsons, we will no longer be able to see into the future.

Breaking via Slack:

I have a mental illness that makes me think that people will change their minds if I present the correct arguments with the appropriate facts and data.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Not gonna lie, to this day, I don’t know the difference between gray and grey, I just wing it.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Don’t be ashamed to fart while you urinate, cause there is no rain without thunder.

Nobody lures you into a gingerbread house in the forest anymore.

0
Nobody lures you into a gingerbread house in the forest anymore.
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Commentary:
Looks like the gingerbread house real estate market in the forest has really plummeted 🍭🌲 Seems like witches are struggling to attract people with their baking skills these days! Maybe they should consider a more modern approach like food delivery apps to boost their customer base! πŸ§™β€β™€οΈπŸ¬ #WitchRealEstateStruggles

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Welcome to Wordgag! πŸ˜‰βœŒοΈ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. πŸ˜‚πŸ’₯

Social Media Stars ⭐

83 shares on YouTube this month:

This year felt like being awake during surgery.

29 shares on Reddit this month:

OK, just so everybody’s clear, I’m going to put my glasses on.

15 shares on Pinterest this month:

Have an early flight tomorrow, so naturally I’m going to stay up late tonight and be weird in my room.

74 shares on Twitch this month:

People always love to claim that a celebrity’s death is β€œunexpected”, but they never actually release the data on which celebrities they expected to die that day.

11 shares on LinkedIn this month:

There should be guide dogs that prevent you from making bad decisions.

68 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Is it just my dad, or do all fathers watch videos on their phones with the volume full blast, with no concern for anyone else in the house?

93 shares on Discord this month:

Many years ago, I stood up to 100-200 million others only to sit in meetings now.

50 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Being smart is a curse. You see the game, the lies, the patterns, but you still gotta play dumb to survive.

80 shares on Reddit this month:

AI won’t replace me because I’m already useless to society.

43 shares on Facebook this month:

They should invent someone who holds me.

Trending Topics πŸ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes πŸ’₯

11 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

If you catch me smiling at you, chances are I am plotting my revenge.

14 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Theo Von’s entire life is like a raccoon that visits New York City.

12 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

“What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger!” Oh, it’s ok, you can just kill me next time.

9 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I have so many mood swings, I’m basically a swing now.

10 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Asked my therapist who their therapist was and went to see them. Asked them the same thing until I got to the final boss therapist and defeated them with my trainwreck of a life.

22 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I just feel like we shouldn’t have a new year until we get this one right.

13 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

When God created the giraffe, he probably slipped with the mouse on the screen. This is how its neck was created.

25 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I’m an adult in the same way a tomato is a fruit.

7 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Movie date at my house, but we use pirated sites and spend all night closing pop-ups.

18 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

There are three certainties in life: death, taxes and getting stuck behind a shit driver when you’re late.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

233 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,502

Funny Quotes Topics

17,569

Funny Quotes Images

15,502

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,245

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡² has downloaded:

Getting your hair washed by someone else is one of life’s greatest joys no one really speaks about often.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡© has bookmarked:

The people who are $30 trillion in debt are giving you a credit score.

Someone from πŸ‡ΎπŸ‡ͺ has shared:

Family Guy is so insane because, why were people dating that dog?

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡« has copied:

The older I get, the earlier it gets late.

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡­ has shared:

The worst thing you can do when you notice your kids are playing nicely together is telling them that they’re playing nicely together.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡³ has copied:

There’s no filter on my pics or my thoughts. I’m just out here raw-dogging it.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡ͺ has copied:

God, I wish I had enough money to discover it doesn’t make me happy.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡Έ has copied:

It is a mistake to say that the people who live a hundred years from now will have nothing to laugh at. They can laugh at us.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡Ώ has bookmarked:

I wish anxiety came with french fries.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡² has viewed:

That thing in video games where you have a great item so you hold onto it but never end up using it? Thats me with fruit.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Shared recently on Discord:

I forgot how weird November is. There’s no afternoon; it’s just night after 3 p.m.

Making waves on TikTok:

I have to pee. Story of my life.

Just shared via X:

I left the house with wet hair and no makeup on, so I’m sure I’ll run into everyone I know.

Going bananas on Telegram:

Don’t be fooled by what your kids will eat at someone else’s house.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Please remember, I am an inspiration for birth control.

Spotted on Facebook:

Nothing bad can happen while you’re under a blanket. Just remember that.

Just shared via Messenger:

Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can’t even get into my own pants.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

The leading cause for injury in old men is them thinking they are still young men.

Just shared via Discord:

In case of a disaster, women and children are being evacuated first so men can think about a solution in peace.

Trending via WeChat:

If white men can’t jump, how do you explain Super Mario?

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