Nobody rots in bed like I do.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

I never forget a face, but in your case, I’ll be glad to make an exception.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

My husband has reached an age where he reads the menu out loud. The whole menu. And then he has questions. Please send help.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

Cleaning the rocks of the earth one load of my kids’ laundry at a time.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

Once I shot a man with a paintball gun, just to watch him dye.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

Please don’t ask me about my dream job. I would never work in my dreams.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

One day I’ll do amazing things. Today I’ll be satisfied if I don’t spill food on my lap.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

Eating fast food shouldn’t count for calories because it’s not around long enough.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

I tell it like it is: Sometimes I watch the calls on my cell phone and just wait for it to stop ringing.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

The lion is starting to concern himself with things he’s been trying to ignore.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

Inventor of pink lemonade: yes, exactly the same, but cute and for the girls.