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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

My parents think they know me.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

It’s wild that you can just do anything. Date the wrong person, choose the wrong career. You can go outside and start eating dirt if you want, and the universe lets you. Not even a pop-up like “Are you sure?“

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

“It’s not that deep!” Well, I have a shovel and I enjoy digging for meaning.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

We have now entered the void (25th December to 31st December).

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

Damn girl, are you a plate of microwaved leftovers? Because you’re hot on the outside and cold on the inside.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

Liking a song isn’t enough, I need to be able to call the artist and tell them they did a great job.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

I’m bringing back “holy moly” and nobody can stop me.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

I’ve started dating myself exclusively but it’s not working out.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

Twitter is the most fun you can have on the toilet.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

I need a chiropractor for my brain.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,709

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Discord:

Everyone is gangster until they’re asked to reveal a “fun fact” about themself as part of a work event icebreaker.

Breaking via X:

Singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth. Then it’s a soap opera.

Breaking via Instagram:

“I’m fluent in creating worst-case scenarios in my head.”

Making waves on Instagram:

“I’m not falling for that again,” I say, as I’m about to fall for whatever that is again.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Is ChatGPT down for anyone else? I’m a cardiac surgeon in the middle of heart surgery.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I hate when my cat runs into my bedroom and hisses at an empty chair, then runs back out again; and I then have to fall asleep holding a crucifix.

Breaking via WeChat:

“Are you dating anyone?” I close my eyes when I walk past mirrors.

Breaking via Messenger:

Can you lose weight by running away from your feelings?

Seen just now on Reddit:

I’ve got a headache, and it’s affecting my entire future.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Gonorrhea would’ve been a great name for diarrhea medicine.

Noise cancelling headphones but for when the noises are coming from inside your head.

0
Noise cancelling headphones but for when the noises are coming from inside your head.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Introducing the revolutionary invention: Mind-canceling headphones! For those times when your thoughts are louder than the world around you. 🧠🔕 Just sit back, relax, and enjoy the sound of silence… inside your head! 💭🙉"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

24 shares on X this month:

Yes, we absolutely can push our meeting to sometime after the new year, or mid-March, or the year after next, or never.

73 shares on X this month:

Quitting my job to pursue my true passion: not having a job.

91 shares on Slack this month:

The theory that two stacked beds can’t be converted into two regular beds has been debunked.

82 shares on Instagram this month:

The biggest problem with working from home? I want to go home even though I’m already at home.

59 shares on YouTube this month:

In case of a disaster, women and children are being evacuated first so men can think about a solution in peace.

64 shares on X this month:

Another Netflix price increase? Guess we’re only chilling now.

32 shares on Instagram this month:

“Help us improve Instagram!” Nice try, fix your own damn website.

20 shares on Reddit this month:

In an alternate universe, sex dreams of me.

39 shares on Snapchat this month:

“I have a date with destiny.” Yeah well, I’m in a long-term relationship with the consequences of my actions.

86 shares on Threads this month:

Your honor, I was under the impression it was hammer time.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Whenever I see an athlete eating quark, I get sad, because the quark could have been turned into cheesecake.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Ctrl Alt delete my fat.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

The economy’s so tough, people out here eating grass — matcha.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Can’t be sexting when you’re somewhat articulate. You just sound like a vampire.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Accepting you’re about to throw up, gotta be the worst feeling on God’s green earth.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

An evil genius rising to a position of power is bad but it makes sense at least. Feels insulting we’re constantly seeing evil idiots doing it instead.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I see you liked my selfie, but what about my ideas?

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Someone yelled “hey, retard!” and I looked back.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve disappointed better people.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

There should be a withering shamrock emoji so that people can express misfortune or Irish grief.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,231

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

Half of all the problems in life can be solved by duct tape. For the rest, you’re gonna have to reboot that computer.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

You can’t keep running away from your problems, you’re getting older and your kids are getting faster.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

Working out consistently yields results, but mannnnnnn…… the laundry.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

Messages are way funnier when you know how the person talks.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

She was rare. Like a parking spot in the front row on a rainy day.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

Life is just a series of Sopranos references with some other things mixed in.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

I ghost family members too, so believe me, bro — it’s not personal.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

Microdosing bungee jumping by bending over to pick up a hair tie.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

I love when dudes are named Guy. Like, yeah. Exactly.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

By the time I remember to text back, it be too disrespectful to even do it.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Telegram:

I’ve never met a garlic bread I didn’t get on with.

Trending via X:

At a certain age, all you really want is a good mattress.

Spreading quickly via X:

Dear brain, please finally learn the difference between hunger and boredom. I’m getting fat.

Shared recently on X:

I asked Tom Hanks for his autograph, but all he wrote was thanks.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Muting morons is good for your health.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Please text me back. I’m about to start making stuff up in my head, and the stuff is all bad.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Being a people pleaser that no one is pleased with is the main cause of my anxiety.

Trending via TikTok:

I’m so disappointed when I help my kid with her homework, and she brings it home marked incorrect.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Nighty night! Don’t let the horror of existence bite.

Live now on Facebook:

I love how one day my body just decided “You know what you really need is some ear hair.”

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