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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

Embattled politicians resign saying they want to spend more time with their families. Do their families get a say in this?

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

Why would I take the high road when I could take the psychopath?

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

The dopamine hit of getting an Outlook meeting cancellation is unrivaled.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

Don’t hate me because I can fall asleep within seconds; hate me because I can sleep through the night without having to get up to go to the bathroom.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

Having a peanut allergy has to be so wild. Like, imagine you’re at a baseball game and there are people chucking bags of rattlesnakes past your head.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

The USA is having so many disasters and tragedies, you’d almost think it was built on thousands of ancient Indian burial grounds.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

Doctor advised me to stop drinking. This is going to be a big change for me. I was with that doctor for decades.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

Know what goes good with beer? Another one.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

Those eyes ain’t gonna roll itself, let me help you.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

I’d be really slim if it wasn’t for birthdays, anniversaries, Easter, Christmas, Mother’s Day, weekends and me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

778 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,940

Funny Quotes Topics

13,912

Funny Quotes Images

10,940

10 minutes ago

3,447

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Reddit:

Many people mistake me for an adult because of my age.

Just landed via WeChat:

Every room can be a room with a view when I’m in it.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I hate when people tell me I need to “get out of my comfort zone,” like I don’t even have a comfort zone; I am literally always uncomfortable.

Trending via Facebook:

It’s funny how you can annoy unhappy people by remaining calm.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I don’t think I’ve ever made the right amount of pasta.

Just landed via Pinterest:

The best part about Smarties is pouring them into an empty prescription bottle and shaking them all into my mouth while waiting in line.

Making waves on Facebook:

Lord, they down here giving us bills every month after you already paid the price.

Spotted on YouTube:

Sorry, I had feelings. I’ll replace them with jokes right away.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Not all people have bad neighbors. The ones next door have a great one.

Reported on Pinterest:

Stop blaming others for your mistakes. Study Feng Shui and blame the furniture.

Noise cancelling headphones but for when the noises are coming from inside your head.

5 months ago

Noise cancelling headphones but for when the noises are coming from inside your head.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Introducing the revolutionary invention: Mind-canceling headphones! For those times when your thoughts are louder than the world around you. 🧠🔕 Just sit back, relax, and enjoy the sound of silence… inside your head! 💭🙉"

cancelling, coming, distractions, head, headphones, health, humor, inside, mental, mental health, noise, noises

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

778 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,940

Funny Quotes Topics

13,912

Funny Quotes Images

10,940

10 minutes ago

3,431

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

Interesting people are my favorite endangered species.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

Everything is 10 times funnier when you are supposed to be quiet.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

Don’t tell me about your wild weekend. My TV remote died and I switched the batteries around, and now it’s working.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

The sun is so successful because it has the perfect bedtime and morning routines.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

Girlfriend is temporary, ex-girlfriend is forever.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

Hey (threateningly), can I join your years-old, tight-knit, close friend group?

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

The best thing capitalism has done is put a little window on pasta boxes so the noodles can look out at the world.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

I giggle before I go crazy. Gotta start my engine.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

My big 3? Yapping, napping & snacking!

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

If you hide the Easter eggs while you’re drunk, nobody knows where they are.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

My head is starting to get dented from hitting rock bottom so often.

Just shared via Twitch:

Most men will receive their first bunch of flowers at their funeral.

Trending via Pinterest:

Cleaning your glasses is like changing from 360p to 1080p.

Reported on Snapchat:

Never understood why people train their dogs to sit pretty or roll over when there are useful tricks like empty the dishwasher or fold the laundry.

Going viral on Instagram:

Stop normalizing things, we’ll run out of the weird shit.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

My company promotes diversity. We’d never hire twins.

Making waves on YouTube:

At my age, I’m more frightened of a hip break than a heartbreak.

Trending via Snapchat:

Terrifying if true: Her eyes lighting up a room.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Got a new high score on my bathroom scale.

Spotted on Instagram:

People believe that they have brains but maybe that’s just inside their heads.

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