Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Sorry sweetie, mom's busy being an influencer on the world wide web 💻🌟 Who knew parenting could be so 'trending'? #MomLife #SocialMediaQueen"

distraction, humor, influencing, internet, mummy, not now, www

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

After hearing that I have too many books and too many bookshelves, I’ve decided to cut back on the amount of people I listen to.

1 month ago

advice, after, amount, back, book, books, bookshelf, cut, decision, hearing, humor, i, listen, listening, people, reading, too
Jesus invited prostitutes to dinner and was praised for compassion. I do it, and suddenly I ‘made Christmas awkward.’

1 week ago

awkward, Christmas, compassion, dinner, humor, i, invitation, invited, Jesus, norms, prostitute, social, social norms
They need to invent a dishwasher with a window on it. I have to know what goes on in there.

2 months ago

appliance, curiosity, dishwasher, humor, i, invention, kitchen, know, need, window
Wish I came with subtitles because I mumble a lot.

2 months ago

communication, humor, i, misunderstanding, mumble, speech, subtitles, wish
I always bring luggage when visiting my mom because I know she’ll send me on a guilt trip.

2 months ago

always, bring, family, guilt, humor, i, joke, know, luggage, me, mom, parenting, relationships, sarcasm, send, shell, travel, trip, visiting
Netflix and chi…cken nuggets.

3 months ago

activity, binge-watching, casual, casual date, chicken, chicken nugget, comfort, comfort food, date, food, fun, fun activity, humor, Netflix, nugget, snack

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

38 shares on Facebook this month:

You don’t scare me. You’re not the evil eye I get from my dog when I make him get up from the couch so I can lay down.

65 shares on Twitch this month:

Not sure if “life hack” exactly, but I fell down the stairs and now my whole family is being so nice and catering to my needs.

44 shares on Discord this month:

Every Jurassic Park movie should end with an insurance adjuster getting a phone call and immediately throwing up.

56 shares on Snapchat this month:

Made a lot of mistakes in my life, but adding more cheese than a recipe calls for isn’t one of them.

59 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I hate people that talk to their Apple watch. Fake Power Rangers.

95 shares on Slack this month:

“I’m not ordering fries, I’ll just eat some of yours!” -Former friends of mine

24 shares on Telegram this month:

You can’t stop me. My tampon wrapper told me I was bold and brilliant.

29 shares on Slack this month:

I wanted to wear some hot lingerie, but didn’t have any, so I put on this red dental floss.

90 shares on Twitch this month:

Do you remember when you looked through binoculars upside down and everyone was really far away? That was nice.

41 shares on Telegram this month:

Wait… if you’re circling back and I’m touching base, who the hell is monitoring the situation?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

Call a girl beautiful 1000 times and she won’t notice. Call her fat once and she will never forget. That’s because elephants never forget.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

Having a girlfriend is insane because you can literally go to touch them, and they will let you.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

I would like to opt out of WW3, por favor.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

Spotify Wrapped, but for all your bad decisions this year.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

We went on a family vacation and it was a terrible experience. It was all whining, complaining, and tantrums. And don’t get me started on what my kids did.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

I wish my hair had as much volume as my mouth.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

Denying the existence of anyone that annoys me.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

Me and my best friend saying, “Hey, who are we to judge,” after spending 6 hours gossiping.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

I start each day assuming it will be horrible and go from there.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

The worst part of getting struck by lightning is everyone seeing your skeleton.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Discord:

In a job interview, you can always respond to an awkward question with a deep gaze and parted lips, followed by “You complete me.”

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Be gentle with me, I’m from the 1900s.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I’ve started dating myself exclusively but it’s not working out.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Sometimes all you need is a Saturday to sleep, eat, and do absolutely nothing else all day.

Shared recently on X:

Dear people, who drive without music playing, what do you do with your brain?

Making waves on Discord:

I wish rolling your eyes burned calories.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I want an apartment so big, it changes the way I laugh.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Girl cats get named after ancient goddesses and boy cats get named after Taco Bell menu items.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Dog barking like an angry baby, baby crying like an angry dog.

Making waves on WeChat:

A lot of people think you need a lot of money to buy clothes. And they’re right.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Not now darling, mummy’s influencing on the www.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

After hearing that I have too many books and too many bookshelves, I’ve decided to cut back on the amount of people I listen to.

Jesus invited prostitutes to dinner and was praised for compassion. I do it, and suddenly I ‘made Christmas awkward.’

They need to invent a dishwasher with a window on it. I have to know what goes on in there.

Wish I came with subtitles because I mumble a lot.

I always bring luggage when visiting my mom because I know she’ll send me on a guilt trip.

Netflix and chi…cken nuggets.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨