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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

Be the funny, awkward silence breaker you want to see in the world.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

I told my suitcase we wouldn’t be going on vacation this year; now it’s dead inside and I’m left with emotional baggage.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

There’s endless songs out there about love and pain and life, but basically only one about the wheels on the bus. Just goes to show you they nailed it the first try.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

Managers want a week of silence and meditation in order to be even more of a manager afterwards.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

I could be staring at my hand locking my front door, and I still won’t feel 100% sure my front door was locked.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

Rich people go to parties. It’s what they do, and somehow we must all watch videos of it.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

I feel like a wildlife photographer when I spend hours trying to capture my teenager’s smile.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

After all these years, Jude Law has finally noticed me and responded to my love letters. Something about staying 500 feet away. I’m getting it framed.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

At this point of my celibacy, I can see the same colors as mantis shrimp. What do you know about blorange and gurple?

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

The man who invented the Ferris wheel never met the man who invented the merry-go-round. They traveled in different circles.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,542

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Facebook:

Sorry for bouncing my leg. I’m not allowed to bash my head into the walls anymore.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Old age is always 15 years older than I am.

Freshly posted on X:

Women only want one thing and it is to walk down a dimly-lit cobblestone street with the devil.

Going bananas on Slack:

I love when my husband says, “correct me if I’m wrong,” like I would pass up that opportunity.

Seen just now on Instagram:

There should be 1 day a month without commercials.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

You never hear anything about Mr. Rubik himself, only about his cube.

Breaking via Slack:

I bet my soulmate is out there somewhere pretending everything is fine.

Spotted on Threads:

One time I refused to buy a watch because it was only waterproof to 100 meters. Not sure what sort of future I was imagining for myself there.

Going viral on Slack:

My trauma is between me and this bartender. The rest of you, mind your business.

Trending via X:

Instead of likes, we should get a little kiss.

Nothing is worse than seeing a gorgeous girl that I’d never approach or stand a chance with and then finding out she has a boyfriend.

3 weeks ago

Funny quote about unapproachable beauty and missed chances with a playful vibe.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Story of every hopeless romantic's life: Having a crush on someone who's as out of reach as WiFi on a deserted island 🤦‍♂️💔 Better luck next time, buddy! Maybe she'll break up with her boyfriend, or he'll turn out to be her annoying younger brother in disguise 🙈😂"

approach, boyfriend, chance, dating, finding, girl, gorgeous, humor, ID, love, never, nothing, rejection, relationship, seeing, stand, worse

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

39 shares on YouTube this month:

Sorry if my posts have any typos, it’s because I’m driving.

21 shares on WhatsApp this month:

There’s a great new book on minimalism but I only read the blurb because I believe that’s what the author would want.

64 shares on Twitch this month:

I don’t have a new year resolution, you don’t need that when you’re perfect.

80 shares on Reddit this month:

Just once I’d like to wake up, turn on the news, and hear “Monday has been cancelled,” and then go back to sleep.

66 shares on Reddit this month:

How many sit-ups do I have to do before I get a six-pack? Please say 5.

95 shares on Twitch this month:

Relationships: Because sometimes destroying your life is a two person job.

43 shares on Messenger this month:

Crazy that caffeine has no short or long-term negative side effects. Just a super drug from God.

19 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Life hack: give yourself 8 to 12 hours of alone time in the morning to mentally prepare for the day.

44 shares on Discord this month:

Years of personal growth can be unraveled in 2 days at your parents’ house.

49 shares on LinkedIn this month:

It’s so hot out, I just hydroplaned off the toilet seat at work.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I like to describe the difference between theory and practice with shopping lists and receipts.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

If dogs ever learn to talk, I want everyone to keep in mind that mine is a big fat liar.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Shazam, but for whatever the hell goes on in the apartment upstairs.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I get writer’s block responding to people.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m kind of excited about the apocalypse. I would love to eat a basement full of food.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

There are always new uncomplimentary angles to view yourself from. Keep contorting!

15 folks are currently checking 👀

No one talks about the horrific event of meeting someone who is exactly your type.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t want your hoodie, I want your still-beating heart presented to me in a box.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

After being raised on Disney movies, I’m very disappointed how few adult problems can be solved by a good song and dance.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I am a person who wants to get a lot done, trapped in the body of a person who wants to sleep in and take naps at times.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,478

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

Asking for a cigarette, then adding it to my own pack.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

I just looked over at my new shoes and the box says “vegan”. I’ve never had to feed my other shoes before.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

The art of letting whoever think whatever.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

I should’ve been a crow. They get to fly around looking goth as hell and seeking retribution. Instead, I have to go to an office and work on my ‘people skills.’

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

Hairless cats look like the devil screwed up a possession.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

I don’t really care how you met your partner. Tell me about how you met your nemesis.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

Happy new fear!

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

Doing taxes for an ant who inherited a teaspoon of sugar.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

This Monday has Monday written all over it.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Discord:

I hate the saying: “Get up, the sun is shining!” What am I supposed to do? Photosynthesis?

Making waves on Reddit:

Mind if I crawl into your DMs and stay there for a while?

Making waves on WhatsApp:

When did making sense stop making sense?

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Want to come over? We can trauma dump, take a nap, and then order a pizza and watch a movie.

Just landed via WeChat:

I don’t usually think about what I say before I say it. I prefer to think about it after I’ve said it, late at night, for the rest of my life.

Spreading quickly via X:

The number of times I stand in a room, staring because I forgot why I walked in there, is embarrassingly high.

Just landed via Slack:

I don’t always have time to fold laundry, but when I do, I don’t.

Just landed via YouTube:

Date idea: you tell me every thought you’ve ever had about me.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Considering that doctors are never on time, they should tell you to come a half hour late, not early.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Donuts have holes in them, just like acoustic guitars, but that’s pretty much where the similarities end.

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