Nothing is worse than seeing a gorgeous girl that I’d never approach or stand a chance with and then finding out she has a boyfriend.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

Sorry to any bands who see me yawn during their show. It’s not you, it’s just past 10pm.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

Sometimes I don’t worry about things at all and other times I am awake.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

The gossip in my town is faster than the Wi-Fi.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

I think if you ask Kanye for a million at the right time, he’ll give it to you.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

Just because it’s a bad idea doesn’t mean that it ain’t gonna be a hell of a lot of fun.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

Please no requests for a threesome. If I want to disappoint two people at the same time, I’ll visit my parents.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

I was an ugly baby. It’s been downhill since then.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

As a wife and mother my hobbies include rage cleaning, rage cooking, and rage folding.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

Hey (threateningly), can I join your years-old, tight-knit, close friend group?

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

Women are able to leave the country unexpectedly at any time with the contents of their handbag.