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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

Normalize throwing lamps at people who need to lighten up.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

A true friend is someone who thinks you’re a good egg, even though they know you’re slightly cracked.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

Every girl has a dude in her inbox talking to himself.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

The holidays may be over by my work ethic is still out of the office.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

Don’t ask me why, but the older you get, the more you love coffee.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

My mental health walks make my mental health worse because I live in a shithole.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

I’m so single right now that I stood on a cliff and shouted, “I love you,” and my echo replied, “I just wanna be friends.”

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

And once again my day begins without a red carpet! Guys, I’m really disappointed in you.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

Shoulda named my daughter Calculus cause damn she’s complicated.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

If you say “Excellent choice” after somebody selects a floor in an elevator, you can usually get a pity laugh.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

215 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,484

Funny Quotes Topics

17,554

Funny Quotes Images

15,484

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,433

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via TikTok:

If a beer is 8 bucks, it’s a show. If a beer is 14 bucks, it’s a concert.

Breaking via Instagram:

150 years ago, you could just fake your death and go overseas and live a completely different life if you didn’t like the way the cards were originally dealt.

Making waves on Reddit:

Many years ago, I stood up to 100-200 million others only to sit in meetings now.

Just landed via Slack:

Who’s going to run in movies when Tom Cruise retires?

Freshly posted on Telegram:

The reason my eyes are dilated is because I am so attracted to you, officer.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Like an advent calendar, you make me want to open up more every day.

Shared recently on X:

I don’t do anything with my life except romanticize and decay with indecision.

Spotted on Facebook:

I bought a calming tea but the smell and taste is making me nervous.

Seen just now on Reddit:

ChatGPT is down right now and if you listen closely, you can hear millions of content creators screaming.

Going viral on Twitch:

Unpopular opinion: we really grew up in the best era to be a kid, and the worst era to be an adult.

“OMG I love your personality,” thanks, it’s a disorder.

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“OMG I love your personality,” thanks, it’s a disorder.
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Commentary:
When your charm is "clinically" approved 😂🩺

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

36 shares on WeChat this month:

It’s our first time on Earth, so why are you a life coach?

32 shares on X this month:

I respect the moon’s unwillingness to be photographed on a phone.

36 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Unfortunately, it only strengthens my spirit when the summer people mourn their terrible season.

85 shares on Facebook this month:

Sending messages is easy. Living with them forever is the hard part.

43 shares on Twitch this month:

Can’t, too busy deleting screenshots of my lock screen.

17 shares on TikTok this month:

I enjoy long, romantic walks … to the departure gate.

35 shares on Pinterest this month:

The fact that I have more clothes to sleep in than I do to go out in says a lot about who I am as a person.

27 shares on Threads this month:

iPhone: I’m gonna update your software tonight while you sleep. Next morning, iPhone: I couldn’t do it, bro. Just didn’t feel right. Vibe was off.

82 shares on Twitch this month:

Wolves are just dogs that nobody has called a “good boy” yet.

46 shares on Snapchat this month:

Pluck a single eyebrow hair in 1994, and it never grows back. Pluck a single chin hair today, and it’s back with five friends by 6 p.m.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

But have you tried getting slow neck kisses and soft ear whispers about it?

23 folks are currently checking 👀

A bridesmaid, but to carry the end of my CVS receipt.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I have been nothing but creepy and aggressive to you. Please respond.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

God: “You can’t just say ‘Goddammit!’ and expect Me to damn it. There’s a procedure. File the paperwork.”

16 folks are currently checking 👀

If politicians can text my cell phone asking for money, I should be able to text them directly with policy suggestions.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Me, gently telling my kids that I ate the rest of the ice cream: Your dad ate the rest of the ice cream.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

My favorite conspiracy theory is that things will get better.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t consider myself anything but average. However, I have aged well.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t know when people started calling hot dogs ‘glizzys,’ but I hate it, and you all need to stop immediately.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

The sluttiest thing a man can do is have an ethical dilemma over his lust for you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

215 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,484

Funny Quotes Topics

17,554

Funny Quotes Images

15,484

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,264

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

Girls be like, “Baby, I have a great idea,” and it’s a trip you have to pay for.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

Girlhood is sitting down in a boiling hot shower instead of dealing with life.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

My superpower? Staying calm when talking to idiots.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

Born to be a frolicker of the forest, forced to be a cog in the machine.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

The problem with people starts when we expect things from them, or have anything to do with them.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

Rewatching Avengers: Age of Ultron. Despite the title, they never tell you how old Ultron is.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

Jeez. It’s like the people in this nursing home have never heard techno before.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

Bro, did you seriously just forget about Dre?

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

No matter how weird things seem to get, there’s always an episode of The Twilight Zone that was eerily similar.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

Sometimes I rock it as a parent, other times I drop my phone on my sleeping child while taking a picture of it. It’s called balance.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Slack:

The way my phone’s facial recognition pretends not to recognize me, you’d think I dated it.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Someone has left me a voicemail. I don’t know what to do. Open the phone app? The contacts? Do I turn on the TV?

Shared recently on WeChat:

He just walked right into my heart and switched on the lights.

Spotted on Facebook:

Few things in life are as disappointing as having to poop right after a shower.

Trending via WeChat:

The more you embrace your crazy side, the more fun life becomes.

Shared recently on Threads:

The man who invented autocorrect has died. Restaurant in peace.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I wish people knew how good I can sing when I’m alone in my car and in my shower.

Spotted on WeChat:

The week be like Mooonnnday, Tueeesday, Weeeeednesday, Thuuuuursday, FriSatSun

Trending via Telegram:

They need to invent a dishwasher with a window on it. I have to know what goes on in there.

Just landed via Telegram:

Of course babies cry when flying, their entire understanding of planes centers around them being eaten.

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