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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

My fairytale would be called the princess and the pea sized bladder.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

She never lets ideas interrupt the easy flow of her conversation.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

Happiness is an inside job.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

Not all people have bad neighbors. The ones next door have a great one.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

Just washed my windows and not a single bloke came out and said ‘You can do mine next!’ This used to be a real country.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

I need to stop living by the words “life is short.” It’s hurting my bank account.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

Job interview: Where do you see yourself in five years? Me: Hopefully on a sabbatical.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

Sorry to any bands who see me yawn during their show. It’s not you, it’s just past 10pm.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

Robots eating a bowl of cereal that’s actually a bunch of nuts and bolts, you don’t see that as much anymore.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

Taking yesterday’s bad mood on a multi-day tour.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,599

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Facebook:

Grape soda doesn’t taste at all like grapes, but it does taste like purple, and I don’t know how to explain that.

Just shared via Messenger:

My favorite thing to do at the gym is stay home and eat a piece of cake.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Why can’t I explore the dentist’s mouth too?

Freshly posted on Slack:

Annoyed because I want to live my life without a job.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

You have to be careful about sending your spouse things on social media. You send too many things, next thing you know chores are being redistributed because of “all the free time you clearly have”.

Spotted on Telegram:

I’m not shy. I just don’t like you.

Spotted on YouTube:

We’re living in increasingly unfergalicious times.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Given the amount of clowns around here, you’d think it would be more entertaining.

Just landed via Instagram:

Since emojis have been around, I finally have a rough idea of how women feel when they don’t know what to wear.

Live now on Pinterest:

Just got some minutes of cardio trying to pick up an ice cube from the kitchen floor.

On the whole, people are getting smarter. I remember when they had to put “The End” on the screen, so people would know the movie was over.

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On the whole, people are getting smarter. I remember when they had to put “The End” on the screen, so people would know the movie was over.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Looks like we've come a long way from the 'good ol' days' when folks needed a giant 'The End' sign to figure out the movie was finished 🤣📽️ It's a relief to know we're evolving… one cinema experience at a time!"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

22 shares on Facebook this month:

Odd people reviewing a dessert: It’s not too sweet which is what I like.

23 shares on WeChat this month:

Do clouds ever look down on us and say, “This one is shaped like an idiot”?

11 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Nobody flirts better than a girl with zero interest.

19 shares on Pinterest this month:

Female friendship is all about taking turns being insane. First, one of you is crazy, and the other has to counterbalance by being normal. Then, thirty minutes later, you get to trade.

97 shares on Messenger this month:

Went to the grocery store hungry. I didn’t need to pay rent this month anyway.

16 shares on Slack this month:

Bartender asked me to give his place a one-star Google review to keep the vibe lowkey. Insane method.

19 shares on Pinterest this month:

Unknown numbers will call me, then expect me to talk first. Welcome to the breathing competition.

42 shares on Slack this month:

I’m not gonna have a bad day. The day is gonna have a bad me.

82 shares on YouTube this month:

Life is giving me no lemons. It’s throwing watermelons.

66 shares on Pinterest this month:

I march to the beat of my own dumb.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Very disappointed to find out that the universal remote control I bought does not control the universe.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I drink so much coffee, people feel jittery when they see a picture of me.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

They should invent a second airport for people who have been in public before.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

We really grew up in the best era to be a kid, and the worst era to be an adult.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I passed my genetic engineering exam with flying koalas.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Some people are so judgmental, I can tell by just looking at them.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Lifting my wife’s wedding veil and finding out she’s Darth Maul.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Sunrises are really beautiful, but the timing is rather bad.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Headache pro-tip: Bang your toe into something.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Our parents just don’t know how far we rode the bikes when we were young.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,537

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

I’m tired of adding ‘LOL’ to the end of my texts for sensitive people.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

Every day is leg day when you’re running from your problems.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

Mid-life crisis? No, no, mid-day crisis. Something happens every day.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

Not the sharpest cheddar on the charcuterie board.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

Before I die, I’m going to arrange for a friend to take my phone, and after the funeral, text everybody to say “thanks for coming” and other assorted messages of appreciation.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

If love is the answer then what was the question?

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

Sorry, I can’t hang out tomorrow. I hung out with people a week ago and I’m still recovering from that.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

Waffles are just pancakes with convenient boxes to hold your syrup.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

Can’t stop thinking about that time at the planetarium where they showed us a picture of earth and everyone booed.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

Returning to Twitter is like coming back to a dysfunctional family.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Reddit:

I have no desire to rekindle anything with anyone. See you never.

Just shared via X:

My biggest fear is waking up and being in the Renaissance era or something. Imagine having the knowledge of hot dogs but lacking the tools to make them.

Shared recently on TikTok:

If we keep saving daylight, daylight will never learn to save itself.

Spotted on YouTube:

I passed my genetic engineering exam with flying koalas.

Going viral on Twitch:

Behind every strong, independent woman… is a dog that follows her to the bathroom.

Making waves on Discord:

I don’t make mistakes, I date them.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Breaking news: you’re way less interesting than you think you are.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Starting the second half of your sandwich is like “hell yeah, baby, let’s run it back!”

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I noticed you haven’t posted in a few weeks, and just wanted to thank you.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Horse girls and cat ladies get all the attention, but what about crow women?

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