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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✹

Someone from đŸ‡šđŸ‡© has downloaded:

Sometimes I look deep into my colleagues’ eyes to check if you really can’t see the back of their skulls.

Someone from đŸ‡čđŸ‡Č has bookmarked:

A simple “hi” can be the beginning of two years of therapy.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

I always like to remember the time before the internet. It was so good not to know how cruel and stupid humanity really is.

Someone from đŸ‡ȘđŸ‡Ș has copied:

Vegan zombies be like: GRAINS!

Someone from đŸ‡­đŸ‡· has downloaded:

I voted for the candidate on the last yard sign I saw before pulling in. Slow children at play will lead us into the future.

Someone from đŸ‡ŻđŸ‡” has shared:

I wish Amazon would stop finding things I might like.

Someone from 🇮đŸ‡Č has shared:

I got all my marriage skills from watching Al Bundy.

Someone from đŸ‡žđŸ‡Ÿ has viewed:

I don’t think I’ve ever made the right amount of pasta.

Someone from đŸ‡”đŸ‡Ź has viewed:

It sucks that brainwashing is a bad thing, because generally speaking the idea of washing my brain sounds so nice.

Someone from 🇼🇾 has shared:

“You’re so chill.” Thanks, I gave up.

Funny Quotes Data đŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

765 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,927

Funny Quotes Topics

13,899

Funny Quotes Images

10,927

Updated

12 minutes ago

Users Online

3,434

Social Media Log đŸ’«

Spotted on Instagram:

Every house has a smell that only the people living in it don’t smell.

Trending via Twitch:

Rule number 1 at a concert: Don’t sing while filming!

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re not dying, it’s just Thursday.

Live now on Twitch:

I wear black because it’s slimming. Exercise is also slimming, but like I said, I wear black.

Going viral on Instagram:

I think Cinderella should have lived a happy life with all her animal friends rather than settle for a man who had her try on a shoe because he didn’t recognize her without makeup.

Seen just now on X:

Dating over 40 is like Hide and Seek but no one is looking for you.

Making waves on Slack:

Introverts be like “I know a place”, then go home.

Just shared via X:

“Can’t wait till I get older” was the dumbest thing I ever said.

Spotted on Facebook:

I see no action figures, puzzles, or board games. I thought you said you wanted to play with me.

Reported on Snapchat:

Airports are so funny. Like, “Oh, you’re flying across the country? Would you like to hang out in a mall first?”

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re searching “Thanksgiving recipes that won’t cause heartburn.”

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re searching “Thanksgiving recipes that won’t cause heartburn.”
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Commentary:
Oh, the quintessential journey from youthful exuberance to culinary caution! đŸŠƒđŸ”„ It's the aging process – evolving from party animal to probiotic promoter in the blink of an eye! đŸŽ‰đŸ‘” Embrace the transition and remember, there's still room for a little pumpkin pie… with a side of antacid! đŸ„§đŸ‘€ #AgingGracefully #TurkeyTales

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Welcome to Wordgag! đŸ˜‰âœŒïž Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. đŸ˜‚đŸ’„

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Funny Quotes Data đŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

765 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,927

Funny Quotes Topics

13,899

Funny Quotes Images

10,927

Updated

12 minutes ago

Users Online

3,444

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✹

Someone from đŸ‡”đŸ‡° has bookmarked:

Just once I’d like to read a medication label that says: Warning, may cause permanent weight loss, increased energy and wrinkle removal.

Someone from đŸ‡©đŸ‡Ž has viewed:

I love diss tracks because it’s basically two dudes going, “grr, we hate each other so much we’re going to take turns writing increasingly personalized poetry!”

Someone from 🇼🇾 has shared:

Not sure why I drink anymore. I get the same effect from standing up too fast.

Someone from đŸ‡ŹđŸ‡Ÿ has copied:

The worst is when it’s too late to take a nap but too early to go to bed.

Someone from đŸ‡§đŸ‡· has copied:

If you’re feeling lonely, start a small business. Then you’ll have a little company.

Someone from đŸ‡ŒđŸ‡ž has bookmarked:

Anyone know which wine pairs well with societal collapse?

Someone from đŸ‡ŸđŸ‡Ș has shared:

My swear jar is having a very profitable week.

Someone from 🇹đŸ‡Č has viewed:

The worst part of my grandfather’s dementia was slowly watching him forget about Dre.

Someone from đŸ‡ŠđŸ‡© has viewed:

Japan’s greatest tragedy is having the world’s best toilets and no Mexican food. What’s the point of owning a Ferrari if you never take it to the track?

Someone from đŸ‡šđŸ‡· has bookmarked:

To the knife wielding psycho who walked in on me in the shower; I’m sorry you had to see that.

Social Media Log đŸ’«

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I’m not bossy, I just know exactly what you should be doing.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

I’ve just found my wide pants again. They weren’t gone at all, they’re just my tight pants now.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Putting away the Christmas tree. Sad day for cats.

Seen just now on X:

You can never lose a homing pigeon. If your homing pigeon doesn’t come back, what you lost was a normal pigeon.

Broadcasted on Discord:

“I asked Grok. I asked ChatGPT.” Yeah, well, I asked my mom. She said no.

Going viral on X:

Great minds think alike, but so do stupid ones.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

My dad’s handwriting makes a pharmacist look like a calligrapher.

Going viral on Snapchat:

There should be a calorie refund for food that didn’t taste as good as you expected.

Trending via LinkedIn:

I’m a simple person. All I need in life to be happy is to have everything go my way and work out how I want it to.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Due to personal reasons, I’ve decided to become your problem.

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