Opening up to a woman is like talking to the police, anything you say can and will be used against you.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

My family asked me what I wanted for Mother’s Day, so I packed their bags and changed the locks.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

I wish people had mute buttons in real life.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

Sex is cool, but have you ever found an academic article that fits your research topic perfectly and supports all of your claims?

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

There is still plenty of room in my heart, but the bouncer has become a little stricter in recent years.

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I love all mythical creatures. Vampires, werewolves, unicorns, kids who listen.

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On my way to Mordor. You nerds need anything?

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

Fall in love? I can barely fall asleep.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

I’m always in a rush to go home, and do absolutely nothing.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

I don’t always listen to Metallica, but when I do, so do my neighbors.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

The first person to realize you can eat bone marrow must have really hated that cow.