The book characters may be fictional, but my emotional instability over them is real. Posted onMay 29, 2026
I woke up extra early today to get in as much ‘worrying about it being Monday tomorrow’ as possible. Posted onMay 29, 2026
Whoever created / mandated the auto start-stop feature on cars should be dragged into the town square to be tarred and feathered! Posted onMay 29, 2026
If Microsoft Edge is brave enough to ask to be your default browser, you can be brave enough to ask that girl out. Posted onMay 29, 2026
Airports are the perfect place to see people who are experiencing their first day on Earth. Posted onMay 29, 2026
It’s finally actually Saturday after just thinking it was Saturday every day for the last five days. Posted onMay 29, 2026
Being a writer means canceling your plans so you have time to write, and then spending hours avoiding writing. Posted onMay 29, 2026
Somebody should tell James Cameron the world doesn’t need any more frigging Avatar movies. Posted onMay 29, 2026
Working as a 911 operator but hanging up when someone starts screaming because I’m an empath, and it overwhelms me. Posted onMay 29, 2026
“Unc” is short for “unclear.” It’s unclear what it means. “Uncle” is short for “unclear” as well. Posted onMay 29, 2026
Having an international law degree in this day and age must be what it feels like losing chess to a dog and getting robbed of $90,000 afterward. Posted onMay 29, 2026
British people be like “I was born in E-sex, grew up in Woke Ham, moved to Man Chest Hair, went to uni in Rotten Stall.” Posted onMay 29, 2026
(Seeing the guy next to me reading a novel) You know, none of that happened, right? Posted onMay 29, 2026
We’ve historically done extremely well with regime change, so this should be a piece of cake. Posted onMay 29, 2026
The real pandemic was when everyone was reading The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck. Posted onMay 29, 2026
Every time I use a Windows computer, it’s like they built malware into the OS. Like, what do you mean there are ads in the start menu? Posted onMay 29, 2026
Living alone is so dumb, you’ll be asking your pets if they’ve seen your phone, and those lazy bastards never know. Posted onMay 29, 2026
My New Year’s resolution is to be less presumptuous and rude to others. I’ll bet yours is to lose weight, isn’t it? Posted onMay 29, 2026
I don’t understand why banks get so mad when you can’t pay back your loan. You already knew I had no money when I came to borrow it. Posted onMay 29, 2026
Over Christmas, some bastard has snuck into my house, gone into my wardrobe, stolen my work trousers, and replaced them with a smaller pair. Posted onMay 29, 2026
I can’t be the only one who screenshots confirmations, even though you’ll get an email and text. Posted onMay 29, 2026