There’ll be a time someone will convince you to watch Game of Thrones. It is very important that you listen to them and watch. Posted onMay 29, 2026
I’ve been asked to join a swingers club, but I’m a little nervous. What if I’m not good enough? I haven’t been on a swing since I was 9. Posted onMay 29, 2026
Santa has the right idea: only visit people once a year, eat a snack, leave early. Posted onMay 29, 2026
Adulthood is just saying “it is what it is,” and then crying in your car to a song from 2012. Posted onMay 29, 2026
I used to have this mental illness, where I thought putting your heart and soul into a relationship would make it work. Posted onMay 29, 2026
I am officially at the age where old people think I am young and young people think I am old. Posted onMay 29, 2026
The oceans are rising because no one is drinking their recommended 8-12 glasses of water per day. Posted onMay 29, 2026
Sorry for zoning out, bro. It’s just, I’ve been having a bad day for several years. Posted onMay 29, 2026
Life sucks. One day you have tiramisu, and then most other days you don’t. I hate that. Posted onMay 29, 2026
The reason most of us stay up late is because we don’t want our free time to end, and tomorrow to start. Posted onMay 29, 2026
When you are in your 20s, there is going to be an urge to binge The Sopranos. it is very important that you press play. Posted onMay 29, 2026
I love when men remind me I’m evil because sometimes I be thinking I’m losing my spark. Posted onMay 29, 2026
If you send a man to war today, he’s gonna go there and take dark exposure aesthetic pics. Posted onMay 29, 2026
Post-standing clarity is like, damn, I could have been sitting this whole time. Posted onMay 29, 2026
For a guy supposedly called my “brother,” I’ve never seen him make broth even once. Posted onMay 29, 2026
A guy waited exactly 3 days to text me. Someone’s been studying the ancient scrolls of 1980s dating advice. Posted onMay 29, 2026
Your childhood wasn’t complete unless you were chased by a dog… or a goat… or even worse, a chicken. Posted onMay 29, 2026
My ducks are not even remotely in a row. My ducks are in places no duck has ever gone before. Posted onMay 29, 2026
I recently discovered “movies.” They’re usually like an hour and a half long, and a pretty good way to kill time. Check it out. Posted onMay 29, 2026
Unfortunately, I could never be nonchalant because I am not well in the head, and also my soul is on fire. Posted onMay 29, 2026
My ducks: in a row. My elephant: addressed. My eggs: several baskets. My bigger fish: fried. Posted onMay 29, 2026