Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • I’d never pick the lesser of two evils because that means they’re not even good at being evil either.
  • The golden rule of three beverages: one to hydrate, one to caffeinate, and one to celebrate.
  • My two moods are eating a breakfast sandwich or wishing I was eating a breakfast sandwich.
  • My body is a machine that turns traumatic experiences into 10 likes on X.
  • Having a peanut allergy has to be so wild. Like, imagine you’re at a baseball game and there are people chucking bags of rattlesnakes past your head.
  • Could you even imagine the crime rate if no one drank coffee or ate bacon.