People say “go big or go home” like going home is a bad thing. Heck yeah, I want to go home, and I’ll have a nap when I get there.

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If the math problems are too difficult for me, I post them online and write: “Only 1 in 10 can solve this problem.”

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People found guilty of not using punctuation deserve the longest sentence possible.

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I think it’s sad that getting married is one of the only ways to guarantee somebody will be forced to make a speech about how great you are.

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I can’t stand people who require so much validation. Please like and share this if you agree.

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Some things are better left unsaid, unless you’re on X.

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I don’t understand all the fuss about ChatGPT – I have teenagers who already know everything.

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I hate when people call my phone! I don’t use it for that.

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A McRib killed my tapeworm.

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Let’s ride this misunderstanding into the sunset.

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Let’s skip the getting-to-know-you phase. Just block me.