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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

I’m so lazy that I’ll break my tooth trying to get this tag off before I get up and get a scissor.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

Let’s hope those bridges you burn keep you warm at night.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

Passwords are like underwear: You shouldn’t leave them out where people can see them, you should change them regularly, and you shouldn’t loan them out to strangers.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

And so ends another week without me getting rich unexpectedly.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

Having a job is cool, but everyday? Come on!

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

Cats are probably like: Oh, I should follow you on Litterboxd.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

I love being outside, just not when it’s too cold or too hot or too wet or too windy or if there are bugs.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

If I’m ever on life support, unplug me, then plug me back in. See if that works.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

I can’t wait to get married so I can bring home unnecessary stuff and get yelled at for it.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

Breaking News: Jenny on Facebook is having salad for dinner tonight.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

784 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,946

Funny Quotes Topics

13,917

Funny Quotes Images

10,946

Updated

55 minutes ago

Users Online

3,435

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Twitch:

Yes, liquor store clerk, I do need help. But I decided to come here instead.

Making waves on Discord:

To all the people with grammatical issues, don’t worry, I also have problems with badly timed periods.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Salt is just angry sugar.

Seen just now on YouTube:

If you call me from a private number, I’ll respect your privacy and won’t answer.

Seen just now on Instagram:

People will say stuff like “Well, at least if WWIII happens, I won’t have to go to work…” I think in your heart you know that’s not true.

Going viral on TikTok:

My dogs don’t feel earthquakes because they have constant gas.

Just shared via Reddit:

I don’t know why hair extensions are exclusive to women, I want to look like a centaur.

Making waves on Reddit:

I watched a woman clean her whole house on YouTube today, in case you thought I lacked ambition.

Spotted on Threads:

Coffee doesn’t even make me feel energized, I just drink it for the love of the game.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I am an influencer. If you aren’t influenced in any way, that is on you. Do better.

Perhaps we should have further developed natural intelligence before venturing into artificial intelligence.

Perhaps we should have further developed natural intelligence before venturing into artificial intelligence.
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Commentary:
"Maybe we should have asked Mother Nature for a few more tips before diving headfirst into the world of AI 🌿💡🤖 Who knew that good old-fashioned plants could outsmart our fancy machines? 🌱🧠 #NatureVsTech"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

784 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,946

Funny Quotes Topics

13,917

Funny Quotes Images

10,946

Updated

55 minutes ago

Users Online

3,426

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

Anyone else think it’s weird how cancer kills more people than any other astrological sign.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

They should invent a body that doesn’t keep the score.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

Filling animals with helium is kinda weird, but whatever floats your goat.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

Men be like “I would do anything for you,” and then do nothing.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

Terrible economy to ask a girl what’s wrong.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

Putting away the Christmas tree. Sad day for cats.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

I’m so thankful I had a childhood before technology took over.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

Sorry I’m late. Had to scroll back to my birth year.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

The first 7 days of the week aren’t for me.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

Pro tip: Invest in pasta companies. Worth every penne.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

The pumpkin was invented in 1942 when a watermelon put on a pair of corduroys.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Can we get some A.I. to pick plastic out of the ocean, or do all the robots need to be poets?

Shared recently on YouTube:

Going to ask seven friends for advice and then execute my original plan.

Making waves on X:

Maybe your dog is barking at my luggage because he doesn’t enjoy his job, officer.

Trending via Facebook:

I saw God in a dream and all he did was brag about making Pedro Pascal.

Just shared via Twitch:

I have no issue with people talking in the morning. But not with me, please!

Shared recently on Threads:

To avoid burnout at work, use the 30-30 rule: after 30 minutes of work, quit your job and disappear into the mountains for 30 years.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I’d tell you to go to hell, but I work there and I don’t want to see you every day.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

The billionaires have decided that the people with nothing have too much.

Trending via Instagram:

Oh no, a login from a new device? And that device is my phone? The one that I use every single day? And the location is my house, you say? Thank you so much for warning me. I will contact Interpol.

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