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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

Traveling long distance without earphones feels like you’re serving a jail term.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

I didn’t expect to have such strong feelings when the subtitles said “smooching” while the actors were kissing.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

When I am calculating any risk, I think to myself: is this first cat life behavior? Or ninth cat life behavior?

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

I’m gonna get my vasectomy done at Home Depot like a real man.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

I’m not flirting with you. I’m just funny and you think you like me.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

Being abducted by aliens could be just the vacation I need right now.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

Canadians are nice because they’re close to Santa.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

The only time you should be faking it is when your pet checks to see if you’re awake.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

She asked to see where the magic happens, so I showed her my sandwich maker.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

“Likes your story” is a declaration of love.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

764 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,926

Funny Quotes Topics

13,898

Funny Quotes Images

10,926

8 minutes ago

3,421

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Slack:

Taking yesterday’s bad mood on a multi-day tour.

Just landed via X:

The hairdresser asking me what special plans I have for the day like this wasn’t it.

Making waves on Instagram:

Every Reddit relationship post is like “My husband dropped a big piano on my head and when I emerged from the rubble my teeth had been replaced by the keys. Am I in the wrong?”

Broadcasted on Discord:

Okay, this is getting ridiculous. It can’t just be the one guy. It’s gotta be a group of people pooping my son’s diaper.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

When people talk about enriching their lives, I assume they’ve found a way to add more cheese.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I like my job, but if I had the opportunity to become a rich housewife, I would take it.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

My mom gave me a coffee mug that says “Be your own kind of beautiful” and I’m really trying not to read too much into that.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

If biscuits were slimming and contained every nutrient the human body needs, I’d be in terrific shape.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I’ve never met a garlic bread I didn’t get on with.

Seen just now on TikTok:

A diamond is forever, and so is my teen’s grudge against me for some random stuff every other day.

Petition to add fitted sheet folding to the olympics.

6 months ago

Petition to add fitted sheet folding to the olympics.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Breaking news: Fitted sheet folding has officially made it to the Olympics, folks! 🏅🛏️ Who knew our daily struggle with unruly bed sheets could finally earn us a gold medal? Practice those corner tucks and get ready to show off your folding finesse on the world stage! 💪😆 #OlympicDreams #SheetFoldingChampion"

activity, fitted, fitted sheet, folding, home, home activity, household, household task, humor, Olympics, petition, sheet, task

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

764 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,926

Funny Quotes Topics

13,898

Funny Quotes Images

10,926

8 minutes ago

3,444

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

Not now, babe, it’s my nightly phone enrichment time.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

I have decided to purchase the grocery store because it is now cheaper than the groceries inside it.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

There are drug-sniffing dogs, guide dogs, dogs that save lives. And then there’s my dog, who hits the lead when he poops.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

People who scream sneeze need their own island.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

Not smiling until Friday; nothing is funny this week.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

Yeah, Instagram is bad for our mental health, but what about Outlook?

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

I think they’ve made more Kung-Fu Panda movies in the last 20 years than they’ve made actual pandas.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

Aura is the real business card.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

If you like Christmas so much, why don’t you merry it?

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

The T in depression stands for the therapy places that are immediately available.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Pinterest:

I met my wife at a singles night. I was surprised as I thought she was at home with the kids.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Spongebob wouldn’t even mess with some of y’all. But he’d hang out with me because my heart is pure, and I like to laugh a lot.

Reported on Discord:

Make it a habit to cry and act unhinged at meetings so you’re never invited back.

Spotted on Facebook:

Congratulations on angrily speeding past me to get to the red light first. You’re special.

Just landed via Telegram:

I’m not worried about WWIII. I’ve been feeding a crow army for three years.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

It’s crazy windy today. Trash is blowing everywhere, so watch out for your ex.

Seen just now on Facebook:

The kids in Mrs. Doubtfire were pretty dumb if they couldn’t figure out that their nanny was famous actor Robin Williams the whole time.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

When your name is Jenn, people think it’s short for Jennifer, but it’s really short for Jennatalia.

Making waves on Discord:

Dear God, thank you for the job I have. But if you have a lottery win planned for me, I’m ready! Thank you.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

My favorite part of football is when they feed the players water like they’re hamsters.

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