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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

Choosing to ignore my strangely symbolic dream because I have a lot going on right now already.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

I’m so smart, I got rid of cable and now I only have $638 in monthly streaming services.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

You are not obligated to post a video of yourself dancing.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

Be the one that gets asked to remove the hockey mask, during a conference call, on Friday the 13th.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

Iced coffee and crying, the most Californian afternoon.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

I can’t wait to retire so I can get up at 6 a.m. and go drive around really slow and make everybody late for work.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

I dream of disappearing into the woods with Wi-Fi.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

“Inconvenience is the cost of community,” I repeat to myself as I climb six flights of stairs for my friend’s birthday party for her cat.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

Every morning I wake up and make the worst possible time management decisions anyone has ever made.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

To everyone I offended this year: do better next year, so I don’t have to do it again.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,228

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on YouTube:

I would go out of my mind, but I can’t find the exit.

Shared recently on Discord:

Obituaries should have clickbait titles.

Just shared via Facebook:

Women are able to leave the country unexpectedly at any time with the contents of their handbag.

Trending via Threads:

Be the spooky thing in the woods that you wish to see in the world.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Can someone please help me, I’m still at the Fyre Festival.

Shared recently on Twitch:

You can’t convince me that 2020 didn’t open a portal to hell that we’re still living in.

Trending via Discord:

One thing about me is I don’t even need to get drunk to act a fool.

Just shared via Telegram:

My ex had this fetish where he would dress up in his own clothes and act like an idiot.

Spotted on Threads:

Frankly, I have too many situations and not enough monitors.

Live now on Pinterest:

Touch my butt, not my coffee.

Pinterest recipe so long that it’s now a limited series on Netflix.

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Pinterest recipe so long that it’s now a limited series on Netflix.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
🍴📺 When the kitchen gets so dramatic, it turns into a binge-worthy show on Netflix! Who knew that following a Pinterest recipe could be a multi-episode saga? Let's hope the ending isn't a cliffhanger like waiting for that cake to finally finish baking! 🤣🍽️ #CookingDrama #NetflixLimitedSeries

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

94 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The best way to contact me is to meet me in my dreams at 3 a.m.

16 shares on Slack this month:

Imagine hearing the ice cream truck music, but at night.

86 shares on Telegram this month:

My wife and I always eat dinner as fast as possible so we can have a popsicle.

95 shares on Telegram this month:

I hate it when I gain 20 pounds for a role and then realize I’m not an actor.

16 shares on Reddit this month:

I love coming home and being at home and sitting inside my home and staying home.

30 shares on WhatsApp this month:

No, I don’t like nature. I can’t respect anything that would so flippantly turn dinosaurs into birds.

76 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Unless I say otherwise, I am always tired.

23 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I think the world is ready for a fat James Bond.

38 shares on Telegram this month:

A person’s character can be read quite reliably from the way he or she interacts with service personnel.

85 shares on WeChat this month:

I finally became a butterfly, and everyone’s already asking what’s next.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Aging isn’t even 1% as scary as whatever is going on with the people trying not to.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

The dead bodies on Mt. Everest remind me that it’s perfectly fine to stay home and be lazy.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Annoyed because I want to live my life without a job.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

So many mistakes to make, so little time.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I like it when it’s raining, because I can hold my umbrella really low and it makes everyone headless.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

“I’ve never met a medical receptionist that I believed wanted me to live.”

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Every girl has a dude in her inbox talking to himself.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Need to shave my legs again. Blow-drying takes far too long.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Girlfriend is temporary, ex-girlfriend is forever.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Cheers erupt as woman cuts into perfectly ripe avocado.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,638

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

Most of my job is making things idiot proof, but they keep making better idiots.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

I don’t really care how you met your partner. Tell me about how you met your nemesis.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

I haven’t broken a mirror lately, but my water broke and I’ve had seven years of kids crawling into my bed.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

Forgot how fun it is to post IG stories. I feel like a female filmmaker.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

My worst fear is dating someone who loves their ex like my exes love me.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

A single garbageman contributes more to society before lunch than every crypto trader and op-ed writer combined does in their lifetime.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

I wouldn’t describe myself as an “adult”, per se. More like a “long child”.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

Here’s your daily reminder to not forget about Dre.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

I hate to brag but I excel at my faults.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Threads:

Men microdose bicuriousness by asking what you’d do for a million dollars.

Trending via TikTok:

I’m always best at the things I shouldn’t do.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Due to circumstances beyond my control, I am at work.

Trending via Discord:

Dear Santa, I’ve been good all year. Most of the time. Once in a while. Never mind, I’ll buy my own stuff.

Trending via Snapchat:

Most people don’t listen at all, they just wait until they can continue talking.

Spreading quickly via X:

I hope we’re good friends until we die, then I hope we can stay ghost friends, walk through walls and scare people.

Live now on Discord:

Bag of flesh that acts weird when another bag of flesh doesn’t send symbols on glowing screen.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

I’m sorry for the things I said when I was running late due to circumstances completely within my control.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

For a long time, I didn’t know what to do with my strange thoughts. Then I signed up for Facebook.

Just landed via Twitch:

The difference between a songbird and a hummingbird is that one of them knows the lyrics.

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