Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

I’m not accepting the bare minimum; I need you to shake it to the max.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

Had chicken and egg for dinner because I wanted to eat the whole family.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

Watching Unsolved Mysteries and getting mad when they don’t solve the mystery at the end.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

I’m not drunk enough for this Teams meeting.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

Grocery shopping before Christmas is a nightmare. My milk expired while I was waiting in line.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

Tourists love to think that they are not like other tourists.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

I caught two kids smoking pot outside my office. Fifteen minutes later, my boss caught me and two kids smoking pot outside my office.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

If you’re ever intimidated by someone just imagine them opening a Capri Sun.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

I get it, drug commercials. I too like to dance while I describe all my side effects.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

Watching a movie and subtitles not syncing is low-key pain.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,853

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Reddit:

If I ever find out who stole my identity, I’ll pay all their debts and ruin their credit score just for fun.

Shared recently on Telegram:

The 10 minutes I spend on my mobile before I go to sleep are the best 3 hours of my day.

Spotted on YouTube:

My life coach traded me.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Three words no parent ever wants to hear when dropping their kid at a play date: “Come on in.”

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I made the mistake of clicking on an Instagram ad for a flannel shirt, and now the algorithm thinks I’m a lumberjack.

Going viral on WeChat:

You either die a people pleaser, or live long enough to start leaving texts on read.

Breaking via Instagram:

I changed my password to ‘incorrect’ so whenever I forget it, the computer tells me it’s incorrect, and I’m like, ‘Wow, you didn’t have to be so rude about it.’

Making waves on Snapchat:

I don’t understand, but I also don’t care… so it works out.

Going viral on Threads:

The only thing keeping me from world domination is a good nap.

Just landed via Instagram:

My dream is to buy a horse and race it. The horse will probably beat me but it’ll still be fun.

Please hesitate to reach out.

3 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sure, I'll get right on not doing that! 😉📞🙅‍♂️

communication, hesitate, humor, please, reach, reach out, sarcasm

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

You can mess up big time letting someone know you have a printer.

0

2 months ago

awkward, awkward situation, big, big time, communication, know, mess, mess up, printer, relationship, situation, someone, technology, time
You look like the type of person that would fart in bed and Dutch Oven yourself.

0

2 months ago

bed, dutch, Dutch oven, embarrassment, fart, home, humor, humor at home, intimacy, joke, oven, person, prank, type, yourself
I might not put the sparkle in your eyes, but I’ll definitely put the “WTF” wrinkles in your forehead.

0

2 months ago

affection, cheeky, definitely, eyes, forehead, humor, humorist, i, playful, put, romantic, sarcasm, teasing, witty, wrinkles, WTF
Quitting my job to pursue my true passion: not working.

0

2 months ago

career, career change, change, humor, job, laziness, not working, passion, quitting, true, working
“I’m so grateful that so many things are none of my business.”

0

2 months ago

business, grateful, gratitude, humor, none, privacy, sarcasm, things
Love crawling into bed like it’s a spa retreat, only to wake up like I survived a bar fight.

0

2 months ago

bar, bar fight, bed, crawling, fight, humor, i, love, only, relaxation, retreat, sleep, spa, struggle, wake, wake up

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

68 shares on Telegram this month:

I didn’t lose an hour of sleep. The hour of sleep lost me.

13 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Accept who you are. Unless you’re a serial killer.

57 shares on Slack this month:

You know what part I love about waking up? None of it. Let me sleep!

20 shares on Reddit this month:

Don’t forget to make everything about you today.

29 shares on Twitch this month:

Reincarnation, in this economy?

72 shares on Discord this month:

That looks like a problem for someone else.

22 shares on Messenger this month:

The problem with hiding snacks from my kid is that when I forget, they end up being hidden from me too.

20 shares on Reddit this month:

People who don’t like pickles are so important because they give me their pickles.

82 shares on Threads this month:

It’s exciting to receive a Valentine’s Day card and not know who it’s from. A Father’s Day card, not so much.

37 shares on Reddit this month:

Wanna perform obscene blood rituals under the full moon, or nah?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

Dear brain, please stop thinking so much exactly when it’s time to fall asleep.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

Congratulations on getting to the red light first. You’re special.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

I now have Taylor Swift as my alarm. Now I always wake up five minutes earlier so I don’t have to listen to it.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

Beautiful women named Severe Thunderstorm Warning are blowing up my phone.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

My soulmate probably seen my posts and deleted me.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

Google Maps should start screaming the more wrong turns you make.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

What is that job called where you put the little stickers on fruit? I think I would be good at that.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

I’m so hungry, I could eat my own cooking.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

Me: trying to rest. Earthquake: Let’s make that a no.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

I never though I’d be the kind of person who wakes up early to exercise. I was right.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Twitch:

They should make a separate airport for people who know how to act like they’ve been out in public before.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

If I was ever told to “dress to impress”, my first thought would be to get the Batman suit out.

Going viral on Telegram:

Come on, karma, do your job.

Seen just now on Discord:

My bed is from Ikea, so it’s more unstable than i am.

Shared recently on Threads:

Figure skating is so niche that sometimes I walk in the rink, and there’s an Olympic medalist there.

Just shared via X:

Having a bathroom switch outside a bathroom and a sibling is a bad combination.

Making waves on X:

I need to start hiding my money from myself.

Just landed via Twitch:

Nothing betrays your age more than the slang you won’t let go of.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I asked my doctor if I’m healthy enough for sex and he told me I’m not even sexy enough for health.

Spotted on Threads:

I really don’t get enough praise for someone who doesn’t need validation from others.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Please hesitate to reach out.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

You can mess up big time letting someone know you have a printer.

You look like the type of person that would fart in bed and Dutch Oven yourself.

I might not put the sparkle in your eyes, but I’ll definitely put the “WTF” wrinkles in your forehead.

Quitting my job to pursue my true passion: not working.

“I’m so grateful that so many things are none of my business.”

Love crawling into bed like it’s a spa retreat, only to wake up like I survived a bar fight.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨