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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‡ผ has shared:

Always keep a dog eared book on your nightstand so that people think you know how to read.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ฐ has viewed:

Hate when youโ€™re trying to take a nap and the dentist is all โ€œPlease open your mouth.โ€

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ณ has shared:

Call me dramatic, but I think I deserve a love confession in the rain.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡น has viewed:

When the doorbell rings, I always go to the door with my jacket on. Depending on who it is, I either just want to leave or have just come home.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡น has viewed:

Told someone Iโ€™m as “single as a pringle and as neato as a dorito” and they blocked me immediately.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡น has viewed:

Can’t think of a single time the MGM lion advanced the plot of the movie in any way. Just needless jump scare.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ณ has viewed:

Those astronauts that just landed? They should be greeted by chimpanzees on horses.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡พ has viewed:

How to write complaints: “Dear customer service, first of all, you should know that I am typing this with my middle finger.”

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ช has bookmarked:

Being a woman is trying to guess what the hell is going on with your body three times a week.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡ฐ has copied:

I love being an adult and sitting absolutely still and suddenly I’ve hurt my neck somehow.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,369

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Making waves on YouTube:

Foreplay is great, I particularly like the part where I peel them, chop them into pieces, then roast them in the oven until theyโ€™re all crispy and delicious.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Remembering my youth, and a time where I could breath out of more than one nostril at once.

Going bananas on Instagram:

The worst part of getting struck by lightning is everyone seeing your skeleton.

Shared recently on Messenger:

You’re so cultured I’mma start calling you Yogurt.

Just landed via Slack:

I hate it when I’m gossiping at work and a customer wants to be served. How rude is that?

Spotted on YouTube:

Still canโ€™t believe we have a federal holiday to celebrate the 1996 hit movie Independence Day.

Just landed via Messenger:

If you would like to get an idea of what an exorcism is like, try putting clothes on a toddler.

Just landed via Twitch:

Wanted to report a YouTube video, but there is no option for “Cringe”, so I just picked “Terrorism”.

Seen just now on X:

I don’t know the difference between “gray” & “grey” and I’m too scared to even ask.

Going viral on Reddit:

I donโ€™t get mad anymore. I’m just like โ€œagain?โ€ Ok then.

Polish girls are just winter Latinas.

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Commentary:
Like snowflakes with salsa moves! โ„๏ธ๐Ÿ’ƒ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ฑ

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Trending Funny Quotes ๐Ÿ‘‡

Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars โญ

45 shares on Slack this month:

Kinda rude when I spend money, and it actually leaves my bank account. But okay.

18 shares on Threads this month:

Every time I leave the house, I’m reminded why sweatpants exist.

69 shares on WeChat this month:

For someone who is afraid of failure, Iโ€™m very unmotivated.

41 shares on YouTube this month:

The funniest thing about 28 Years Later is that the rest of the world just went “Uhm, anyway!” and carried on as normal, while the Brits live in hell.

20 shares on Discord this month:

I wish the homes of all my friends were connected to mine by secret underground tunnels.

82 shares on Slack this month:

Why did they call it an Amazon wishlist and not an ‘Oughttobuyography’.

19 shares on TikTok this month:

Dating over 40 is like Hide and Seek but no one is looking for you.

88 shares on Telegram this month:

I canโ€™t wait to see my older sister so she can point out I have more gray hair than she does.

28 shares on Messenger this month:

Do men know they don’t have to date if they’re not over their ex?

71 shares on Twitch this month:

And to think I survived a global pandemic for this.

Trending Topics ๐Ÿ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes ๐Ÿ’ฅ

9 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

I might be late to a lot of places, but the airport is not one of them.

11 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Silk is a crazy material. โ€œI like your shirt,โ€ thanks. It came out of a bug.

12 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

I am a fool everyday, I donโ€™t need a holiday for it.

14 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

I like it when itโ€™s raining, because I can hold my umbrella really low and it makes everyone headless.

11 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

On one hand, itโ€™s terrible to not have access to the Internet, but on the other hand, itโ€™s terrible to have access to the Internet.

16 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Hey cell phone companies who play smooth jazz hold music hoping Iโ€™ll lose interest and give up: yeah, itโ€™s kinda working.

24 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

I call my smoke detector Gordon Ramsay, because every time I cook it screams at me.

25 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

I love diss tracks because itโ€™s basically two dudes going, โ€œgrr, we hate each other so much weโ€™re going to take turns writing increasingly personalized poetry!โ€

6 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

It’s so foggy outside. Y’all gotta stop vaping.

24 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Professor, set the time machine for right now. I’m trying to be more present.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

calculatingโ€ฆ

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,433

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ฟ has downloaded:

In my culture, family is completely unimportant. And we hate food.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ป๐Ÿ‡ณ has downloaded:

I canโ€™t date until the curse is lifted.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡น has downloaded:

I really hope that I look like the mirror version of me, and not the camera version.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡น has viewed:

People see me spending money and think Iโ€™m rich. No, bro, Iโ€™m just irresponsible.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ช has downloaded:

You cannot go outside for a year or two. Come back, and the same people still be outside in the same places.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡น has copied:

I wonder if itโ€™s possible to swim from one end to the other in a pool filled with mashed potatoes.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ณ has downloaded:

Gave my family the wrong address for our beach rental. Hoping to get a couple days in before they find me.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ฉ has downloaded:

That moment of panic when they invite you inside at the start of the birthday party you thought was a drop off.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ญ๐Ÿ‡บ has bookmarked:

I have nothing in common with people who “forget to eat”.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡ฐ has copied:

I donโ€™t want flying cars, I want the ability to start again from my last save point.

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Going viral on Twitch:

Being the introverted hopeless romantic with a high sex drive is a curse.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Life tip: If all of your bathrooms are full and you’re waiting for someone to finish, just turn off the WiFi in the house.

Breaking via Discord:

Elsa froze her entire kingdom instead of dealing with her feelings. I respect that level of avoidance.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

The trouble with living alone is that it’s always my turn to do the dishes.

Just shared via Messenger:

Anything is an appetizer if you eat more food after.

Making waves on WeChat:

Falling off academically is worse than a heartbreak.

Freshly posted on Slack:

They are mad because you took that knife out of your back and used it to cut ties.

Just shared via Snapchat:

You better pray to whatever god you serve that this email finds you before I do.

Making waves on TikTok:

The days will soon be shorter again. Then it won’t rain for so long.

Making waves on Facebook:

Just realized when I get a partner, that means my family is gonna know that I have feelings.

ยฉ 2026. All rights reserved.

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