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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

The older I get, the more I walk like Charlie Chaplin.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

Hate it when my mouth says something my brain was trying to keep quiet.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

Cupid’s arrow should have just killed me instead.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

I don’t understand how I can remember every word of a song from 1984, but I can’t remember why I walked into the kitchen.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

There’s a cougar warning in my neighborhood, but apparently it’s just a big cat. I bought a case of wine coolers for nothing.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

Wow, you did such a great job clicking in your little spreadsheets today. Super proud of you.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

The first time I heard “big naturals,” I thought it referred to major outdoor landmarks such as the Grand Canyon or the Great Barrier Reef.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

My ex texted me saying, “Hey, I miss you,” so I replied, “Sorry, I have zero bars — the past doesn’t have good reception.”

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

I usually decompose after work rather than decompress.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

I don’t need Halloween. I have strange characters around me all year round.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,939

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Nephew showed me his toys on FaceTime, and I had no toys to show him back. Humiliating.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I finally got 8 hours of sleep. Took me four days, but whatever.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Overthinking should at least burn calories.

Spotted on Twitch:

If you’re not dropping it like it’s hot, then what the hell are you doing?

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

If we get invaded by space aliens, I am immediately defecting to the alien side. Sorry.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I wonder what other animals we tried to ride before discovering that horses were cool with it.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

You did all that terrible driving just to end up right next to me at the stop light.

Breaking via Threads:

At least men and women can agree on one thing: it feels amazing to take a bra off.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I like to establish dominance by yawning the minute someone tries to make small talk with me.

Shared recently on Discord:

Car insurance should give you back money at the end of the year for having no accidents.

Political ads be like: send us money so we can send you more ads.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Political ads out here like: 'Give us your cash so we can bombard you with more of our delightful propaganda!' 💸🎥 #PayToSuffer"

ad, ads, campaign, election, humor, money, more ads, political, political ad, satire, send, us

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Remember you are dust and, after you send this email, to dust you shall return.

0

2 months ago

after, death, dust, email, existential, humor, life, mortality, remember, reminder, return, send
Isn’t it weird we have a little voice in our head, like the one you’re using to read this?

0

2 months ago

cognitive, funny thought, head, health, humor, inner, inner voice, introspection, little, mental, mental health, mind, quirky, read, self-awareness, thought, using, voice, weird
I’ve never seen a McDonald’s or a Burger King under construction. They just show up.

0

2 months ago

appearance, burger, Burger King, construction, fast, fast food, food, humor, just, king, McDonald’s, never, observation, seen, show, surprise, under
If you meet me and I’m talking to myself, just keep walking. I’m self-employed and I’m in a meeting with senior management.

0

2 months ago

conversation, humor, isolation, just, keep, management, me, meet, meeting, myself, self-employed, senior, talking, walking, work
Easy there, unsaved number.

0

1 month ago

casual, casual conversation, communication, conversation, easy, humor, number, phone, texting, unsaved, unsaved number
Accept the truth that a clean kitchen and finished laundry are just myths. Embrace the chaos and find your inner calm.

0

4 months ago

accept, acceptance, calm, chaos, clean, clean kitchen, cleaning, day, embrace, finished, household, humor, inner, inner calm, just, kitchen, laundry, laundry day, myth, truth

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

86 shares on Snapchat this month:

If ads were a person, it would be that one neighbor who won’t stop talking to you at the most inconvenient of times.

67 shares on X this month:

You know you don’t have to give your bathroom a beach theme, there’s no law.

41 shares on Discord this month:

I tried to take a picture of myself in the shower, but my camera kept fogging up. I have selfie steam issues.

26 shares on Messenger this month:

Had a fight with an erection this morning. Beat it single-handed.

22 shares on Pinterest this month:

Sometimes a little rudeness to establish that you don’t fancy nonsense is really important.

13 shares on Instagram this month:

I prayed and accidentally mixed up God and Lord and said Gord. So embarrassing.

98 shares on Reddit this month:

The internet is making people stupid. Not me, though.

79 shares on Snapchat this month:

Currently accepting DMs from any man with a sturdy bunker on his property.

43 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Facial recognition technology, but for me when I’m talking to people I’ve apparently met before.

61 shares on YouTube this month:

The horror: “Come on, I’ll introduce you to everyone.”

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

Adults should get spring break from their jobs.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

Here’s to another day of outward smiles and inward screams.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

Got fired on my first day working at the drugstore for calling my new coworkers ‘my pharmily’.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

Our neighbor complained that our cat is always running through his garden. My father said: “Okay, I’ll tell her.”

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

They just don’t put milkshakes in the yard like they used to.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

Two sheep walk into a baaaaa.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

Just remember, you don’t need a special reason to buy a cake.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

Body by sandwich.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

I can’t finish cleaning up my room because I get distracted by all of the cool stuff I find.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

My dad wasn’t absent or present; he was a secret third thing.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Can I come over and figure you out?

Just shared via Pinterest:

Brains are funny. I can remember every word to a song I haven’t heard in 20 years, but I’ve got no clue what my email password is.

Making waves on YouTube:

Phones are wild… we really just sit around tapping glass all day.

Live now on Threads:

Your honor, I was under the impression it was hammer time.

Just landed via Slack:

Monday is already sending me threatening glances from across the room.

Trending via YouTube:

You’d think someone in the room would’ve spoken up like “hey guys, maybe it’s a bad idea to make one ring to rule them all”.

Making waves on Reddit:

Don’t wait for later to eat the cake. Do it now, before another mammal of your household finds it.

Trending via Snapchat:

New year; new me. Just kidding. I’m already awesome.

Trending via Pinterest:

What substance do I have to abuse to stop yearning?

Just landed via Slack:

They monitor me harder than Britney Spears around here.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Political ads be like: send us money so we can send you more ads.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Remember you are dust and, after you send this email, to dust you shall return.

Isn’t it weird we have a little voice in our head, like the one you’re using to read this?

I’ve never seen a McDonald’s or a Burger King under construction. They just show up.

If you meet me and I’m talking to myself, just keep walking. I’m self-employed and I’m in a meeting with senior management.

Easy there, unsaved number.

Accept the truth that a clean kitchen and finished laundry are just myths. Embrace the chaos and find your inner calm.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨