Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

Selling porn is gross, but selling food and small household items is grocer.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

Breaking News: Local woman stuns in new unnecessary online purchase.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

ASAP can also mean as slow as possible.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

Does anyone know the password to my work computer? Or how to do my job?

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

Twitter can teach you a lot of lessons. Grammar is not one of them.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

Ugh, he wants to go hiking as a first date, just like Hitler.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

Does anyone else feel like their brain has a hundred tabs open at once?

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

We are both insane on the web, I think we can make it work.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

Proposing at someone else’s wedding is out. Die at their funeral like a real man.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

It’s like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a Like.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,584

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Slack:

“There’s a particular type of insufferability that rich people from poor countries have, that I don’t yet fully know how to verbalize.”

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Hey girl, are you a burger? Because I love you.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I will unfriend, uncousin, unco-worker, unfollow, unfamily any draining soul real quick.

Seen just now on Threads:

Well, maybe grass should touch me for once. How about that?

Spotted on TikTok:

80% of arguments start because someone hasn’t eaten yet.

Spotted on Messenger:

Everybody’s back hurts until it’s time to have sexy time.

Just landed via Threads:

Sorry, I can’t today. I have to sit in my room and make matters worse.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Why can’t opportunity just come back later?

Seen just now on TikTok:

The gossip in my town is faster than the Wi-Fi.

Going bananas on Facebook:

I’m not just a pretty face, I’m also a massive disappointment to my family.

Preparing for the apocalypse by becoming fluent in zombie.

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Trying to impress the undead with my killer conversation skills! 🧟‍♂️🗣️🔊

apocalypse, fluency, humor, language, preparation, survival, zombie

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I don’t want to “act young”. I just can’t be as “grown up” as others my age.

0

2 months ago

act, age, grown, grown up, humor, i, just, maturity, self-perception, want, young, youth
Seems like the ‘how to use a fire extinguisher’ video on YouTube shouldn’t have a 30-second ad before it.

0

5 months ago

ad, advertisement, before, extinguisher, fire, fire extinguisher, humor, online, online video, safety, seems, short, short video, tutorial, video, YouTube
Nowadays an “all-nighter” means I didn’t have to get up to pee.

0

2 months ago

adulthood, all nighter, humor, i, means, night, pee, sleep
When life shuts a door, open it again. It’s a door. That’s how they work.

0

3 months ago

again, door, humor, life, motivation, open, persistence, work
I didn’t forget about you; my algorithm did.

0

4 months ago

algorithm, excuse, forget, humor, i, technology
Breaking News: Local woman stuns in new unnecessary online purchase.

0

2 months ago

breaking, humor, local, new, news, online, online purchase, purchase, shopping, surprise, unnecessary, woman

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

53 shares on WeChat this month:

It’s so cool when people who write for a living admit that they don’t read books or have thoughts.

49 shares on Snapchat this month:

(to the boys in the yard) I hope you brought your own milkshake.

52 shares on WhatsApp this month:

It’s almost time to switch from my everyday anxiety to my fancy Christmas anxiety.

50 shares on Reddit this month:

I miss when we didn’t know what celebrities thought about anything.

67 shares on Reddit this month:

Shouldn’t autocorrect be called autoassume?

83 shares on Instagram this month:

My teen being nice to me is getting really expensive.

13 shares on Discord this month:

Some days you have breakfast for dinner and live life on your own terms.

20 shares on Discord this month:

Starting a new show sucks. Who are these people?

70 shares on Telegram this month:

If my wife and I got divorced and moved to separate states, I’m convinced I would still hear her chewing.

83 shares on Reddit this month:

Keep your fries close and your onion rings closer.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

Sorry for running at you on all fours, I was excited to see you.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

Have I made bad decisions when I was drunk? Sure. But have the sober ones been any better? Not really.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

There will always be miserable people inviting you to their misery.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

Having a crush as an adult is soooo embarrassing. I’m literally too old for this. I’m gonna learn how to forge a sword.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

I have no idea how dishwasher tablets work. I’ve already taken five of them, and I still don’t feel like doing the dishes!

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

Bought a house plant so I wouldn’t be the only one dying of dehydration around here.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

Being liked at work comes with so many perks, you could be late as hell, and everyone is just happy to see you.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

Give us this day our daily internet validation.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

I wish I loved anything as much as my two year old loves pulling my pants down.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

A thousand curses upon anyone who has ever gone, “Why are you sitting in the dark?” and then flipped the light on without asking.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Messenger:

I had 99 problems but getting divorced solved 98 of them.

Just shared via Snapchat:

I don’t care if my parents are disappointed in me, I’m not impressed by them either.

Trending via Reddit:

Just accidentally closed a tab I’ve had been meaning to read for the past two years.

Spotted on Reddit:

True romantics have made peace with the possibility of lifelong solitude.

Making waves on YouTube:

In my experience, bowling and pancakes have the same energy. High hopes at the beginning, lowered self-esteem at the end.

Making waves on Instagram:

Thank you for the opportunity but I don’t think being human is a good fit for me. I’m going to go back to school to become an octopus.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I got one brain cell left and it moves around my head like a Windows screensaver.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

The neighbor sneezes loudly from the balcony. And because I’m a polite person, I shout loudly: Disgusting!

Going viral on TikTok:

Wait… if you’re circling back and I’m touching base, who the hell is monitoring the situation?

Shared recently on Pinterest:

My husband loves when we fight, and I turn it into a limited series called And Another Thing.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Preparing for the apocalypse by becoming fluent in zombie.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I don’t want to “act young”. I just can’t be as “grown up” as others my age.

Seems like the ‘how to use a fire extinguisher’ video on YouTube shouldn’t have a 30-second ad before it.

Nowadays an “all-nighter” means I didn’t have to get up to pee.

When life shuts a door, open it again. It’s a door. That’s how they work.

I didn’t forget about you; my algorithm did.

Breaking News: Local woman stuns in new unnecessary online purchase.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨