Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • My kids think I’m going to miss them when they leave for college, but I’ll be busy drinking my coffee while it’s still hot.
  • I think Bigfoot had it right, stay in hiding from all the shitty human beings.
  • Manipulative people really be like “oh, so now I’m the bad guy for being the bad guy?”
  • I’m thinking of maybe killing off a few characters in the book I’m writing. That will really spice up my autobiography.
  • Think about how many more lovers you’d have if a cross country high-speed rail existed. That’s what they are taking away from you.
  • The worst part about working from home is that your real husband is also your work husband.