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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

Hate it when my alarm goes off in the morning, and I’m still alive.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

There are too many movies about vampire hunters and not enough about vampire gatherers.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

The only way I’m gonna hit the gym is if I accidentally drive into it.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

Pets can’t talk but everyone loves them. This is not a coincidence.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

Babies invented being in a bad mood for no reason, and they continue to innovate in the field.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

There’s a disconnect between the decibel level of my car singing and my talent.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

We’d all look younger if we just avoided young people.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

“Do you like the Microsoft Teams app?” Does Sisyphus like his boulder?

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

I cheat on my taxes by sleeping with other people’s taxes.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

The only reason I haven’t gone crazy yet is because I’m just too lazy.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

780 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,942

Funny Quotes Topics

13,915

Funny Quotes Images

10,942

9 minutes ago

3,438

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

What doesn’t kill you will text you in 5 months to ask “What are you doing?”

Just shared via TikTok:

I could tell my beard needed a trim when I started seeing some of the pictures my kids were drawing of me.

Just landed via Telegram:

Men be like “I would do anything for you,” and then do nothing.

Reported on Twitch:

You give my middle finger an erection.

Spotted on WeChat:

Most people prefer lies. The truth just hits them like a WiFi outage, and then they just stand there, confused and buffering.

Just landed via Facebook:

The devil couldn’t reach me so he made sure my love life was bullshit.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

My kids are smart but sometimes they say dumb stuff like, “Mom, why do you always buy Snickers when you’re the only one who likes them?”

Live now on Instagram:

My brain doesn’t sea typos until I’ve already hit send.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I think the bowl of ice cream I ate earlier gave me a stomach ache, so I ate a another bowl to make sure.

Reported on WhatsApp:

Is my life this bad because I didn’t forward that email to 15 people back in 2007?

Pretty sure the inventor of noise-canceling headphones had a young kid trying to learn an instrument.

6 months ago

Pretty sure the inventor of noise-canceling headphones had a young kid trying to learn an instrument.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the glorious invention of noise-canceling headphones – a true game changer for parents everywhere dodging those questionable music recitals at home. 🎧🎶 It's like hitting the mute button on your kid's musical ambitions while still looking like a supportive parent! 😂 #ParentingHack"

headphones, humor, instrument, inventor, kid, learn, learning, music, noise-canceling, parenting, pretty, sure, trying, young

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

780 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,942

Funny Quotes Topics

13,915

Funny Quotes Images

10,942

9 minutes ago

3,448

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

Turns out the honeymoon phase lasts forever when you pick the right partner.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

Can I be speaker? I’m pretty good at saying a lot without saying anything at all.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

My sleep apnea was diagnosed at a staff meeting.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

“Out of sight, out of mind” doesn’t work for donuts.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

I’m the kind of crazy you weren’t warned about because no one knew this level existed.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

Would it kill the makers of avocados to put a different toy inside?

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

Tattoo idea for men: spider webs in the corners of the receding hairline.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

The world needs to chill out. There’s no way future history teachers can cram all this nonsense into a semester.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

Drinking at home is convenient, sure, but it’s nothing like the experience of leaving the pub feeling fifty bucks lighter.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

The nice thing about wintertime is that it’s darker for longer, so you see a lot less people.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via YouTube:

Clueless but committed – that’s my vibe.

Breaking via Instagram:

You know you’re getting old when you and the grocery store have the same playlist.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Every frozen pizza is a canvas that needs an artist’s touch.

Trending via Telegram:

I can’t believe someone ran over my neighbors loud motorcycle tomorrow morning.

Just shared via Discord:

You never realize how many curse words are in a song till you play it for your family.

Just landed via YouTube:

If you like pointing out beautiful scenery to three people who are on their phones, a family road trip is for you.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Do you know how much trauma it took to be this funny?

Seen just now on Telegram:

The reason my eyes are dilated is because I am so attracted to you, officer.

Breaking via YouTube:

All this suffering on earth because someone ate an apple once.

Going viral on Facebook:

I am at my Thanksgiving table observing personality disorders that have not been identified yet.

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