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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

To everyone I offended this year: do better next year, so I don’t have to do it again.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

November is for turtlenecks and depression.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

Crashed my car reading a billboard that said, “Don’t text and drive.”

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

Why is no one talking about the sheer pleasure of coming home from vacation and using your own bathroom.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

Goodbye, August, don’t let the door hit you on the way out.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

We all have that person who insists on using a blanket on the couch, no matter the weather.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

What song lyric resonates with you the most? Mine is “we’re tiny, we’re toony, we’re all a little loony”

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

Person in murder documentary: This is a small town. Things like this don’t happen here. Me: Um, based on the shows I watch, that’s all that happens in small towns.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

I always fear that one day I will enter my house and find a thief, knocked out unconscious by the things fallen on his head from some closet.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

AirPods are hungry for earwax. It’s your job to feed them.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,694

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Some people get weird as they get older. Not me, though. I’ve always been weird.

Seen just now on WeChat:

This is my phone. I text back when I want to.

Going viral on Threads:

Deleting the paragraph you wrote and texting back “ok” is a different type of self-control.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Lasagna has never broken my heart. Just saying.

Just landed via YouTube:

Why does the weekend always feel like it lasts five minutes?

Just landed via Threads:

My new pajamas have no pockets. I don’t want to hear your problems.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Now hush, Lil Labubu, don’t you cry, everything’s gonna be Dubai.

Going viral on Facebook:

It’s not getting better or worse, but rather a third mysterious thing.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

It was the worst of times, it was the worst of times.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I’m so good at sleeping that I can do it with my eyes closed.

Reoccurring dreams be like: ‘I dunno, here’s a rerun’

6 days ago

Funny quote about recurring dreams, with playful, witty words comparing dreams to reruns.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Reoccurring dreams be like: "I dunno, here's a rerun" 🔄😂 It's like our brains are stuck on the repeat button, insisting on playing the same ol' show all night long! Maybe it's time to give our dream director a little creative nudge! 🎬✨

comedy, dream, dreams, humor, i, repeat, rerun, sleep, subconscious

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Social Media Stars ⭐

43 shares on Messenger this month:

Touched a tree and accidentally absorbed 400 years of wisdom and 2 squirrel secrets.

73 shares on Twitch this month:

People remind me everyday why I prefer being on my own.

24 shares on Facebook this month:

Sorry I’m late. It’s just because of who I am as a person.

77 shares on Messenger this month:

Seriously? I came out of hibernation for this?

68 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m a simple person. All I need in life to be happy is to have everything go my way and work out how I want it to.

99 shares on Messenger this month:

Common sense isn’t a gift. It’s a punishment, because you have to deal with everyone who doesn’t have it.

37 shares on WeChat this month:

Dear people, who drive without music playing, what do you do with your brain?

63 shares on Reddit this month:

I hope one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse is single.

15 shares on TikTok this month:

Somebody just told me I was living the dream, I can assure you I have never dreamt of this shit right here.

65 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The government always waits until the last minute to prevent a shutdown, much like my approach to paying taxes.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

How do I gracefully leave this party early but also take the queso dip with me?

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Stephen King’s It is the bone chilling story about adults who are forced to spend time with their childhood friends.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Peter Parker having to juggle a day job with being a superhero feels kinda stupid nowadays. Just launch a Patreon, my man. Throw a PayPal link in that Spider-bio.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve worn oversized T-shirts so much that I suffocate if I wear one that actually fits.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m just impressed by how ugly I’m willing to look in public these day.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

The worst thing you can do when cleaning your house is “sit down for a minute.”

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m convinced that if Earth explodes, all the cats will land safely on the moon, on their feet.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Alexa, play everyone that played me.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry, can’t. The pears I bought a couple days ago have ripened.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

In the 90s, you could tell who won the rap battle by who was still alive.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,458

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

If I was a little smarter, I’d be aware of how stupid I am.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

Countries are just gangs with paperwork.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

The healthy food in my fridge should be grateful really. It survives much longer than everything else.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

Going out to eat and shopping by yourself is actually one of the most peaceful and therapeutic things ever.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

After you’ve been married a long time, you become able to communicate nonverbally. At least, I’m pretty sure that’s why we never speak.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

You’re never alone. There’s mold.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

I only go on LinkedIn to see what my coworkers looked like 15 years ago.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

Twitter is the most fun you can have on the toilet.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

I know this ain’t smart, but that never stopped me before.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

The purpose of life is to go insane sooner or later.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Pinterest:

If biscuits were slimming and contained every nutrient the human body needs, I’d be in terrific shape.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Living alone is so dumb, you’ll be asking your pets if they’ve seen your phone, and those lazy bastards never know.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I noticed you haven’t posted in a few weeks, and just wanted to thank you.

Making waves on TikTok:

Hit the vape till it tastes like technology.

Making waves on Threads:

The more I use social media, the more I see why children shouldn’t.

Making waves on Reddit:

So tired of looking in my wallet and not finding $10,000

Just landed via Facebook:

Is he trying to pronounce “charcuterie” or is he having a stroke?

Making waves on Slack:

You look like you suck at Mario Kart.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

November should have one more day. Just because to me November 31st sounds real. And also I don’t want to pay rent tomorrow.

Going viral on Facebook:

Taylor Swift’s most unrealistic lyric is “he’d never tell you, but he can play guitar”, because I’ve never met a man who can play guitar that isn’t gonna tell you about it.

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