Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Grocery shopping before Christmas is a nightmare. My milk expired while I was waiting in line.
  • Get a puppy if you are in the market for a best friend who gets you up early so she can bite you excitedly.
  • Just paid rent. Now I have a place to starve in.
  • My kids have been joking for weeks about a new Pokémon called Puke-Achu and then they got the stomach flu and brought it to life.
  • Red Bull doesn’t give me wings, it gives me gas.
  • That awkward moment when everything is going so perfectly… and then you wake up.