Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

Every time you rub your eyes, they should change color a little.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

Can I come over and circle you like a vulture?

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

Since there are no other Vulcans on the enterprise and the crew has no comparison, Spock could be and probably is bullshitting them most of the time.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

You can’t tell me there’s anything better than earplugs; I simply will not hear it.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

May the algorithms be with you.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

The quality of clothing at retail stores today is quite literally the quality that Halloween costumes used to be.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

Checking Twitter now is like staring into your refrigerator to see if anything good has magically appeared.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

The only things that are really cool in my company are my salary and me.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

People who live alone should get one practice conversation before they have to speak out loud for the first time that day.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

You’re acting up? Right before Santa Claus comes to town? Unbelievable.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,391

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Chickens only make one sound, because they can’t think outside the bawks.

Spotted on X:

Hiccups became less popular. I never hear people hiccuping anymore. What’s going on there?

Seen just now on Reddit:

Using my invisible hula hoop really freaks people out.

Live now on Facebook:

Been there, done that. Then, been there several more times, because apparently I never learn.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

You got a better chance getting chased by a dog than by me.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

“Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This)” is now 40 years old. If you have an earworm now, you also have back pain.

Seen just now on Facebook:

My sneeze is the reason people in the middle ages believed sneezing was caused by demon possession.

Going bananas on Threads:

I am an influencer. If you aren’t influenced in any way, that is on you. Do better.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

You know the trouble with real life? There’s no danger music.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

No, no, I’m listening, it just takes me some time to process so much stupidity all at once.

Ripping the fishnets off my slutty little oranges.

6 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When life gives you oranges, make sure they're ready for the party 🎉🍊👠

cheeky, fishnet, humor, little, orange, oranges, playful, ripping, slutty

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If anyone has any experience with anything or knows anything about something, please let me know.

0

2 months ago

anything, communication, confusion, experience, humor, information, inquiry, know, knowledge, knows, let, me, something
Tried online dating, and it turns out my soulmate is a Nigerian prince who needs my bank details to escape his kingdom.

0

2 months ago

bank, bank details, dating, deception, details, escape, fraud, humor, internet, internet fraud, love, needs, Nigerian, Nigerian prince, online, online dating, prince, romance, scam, soulmate, tried
Moving is legitimately one of the worst human experiences.

0

5 months ago

event, experience, experiences, human, human experience, moving, relocation, stressful, stressful event, worst, worst experience
This Monday could have been an email.

0

2 months ago

email, frustration, humor, Monday, office, procrastination, productivity, work
People that hate cats will come back as mice in their next life.

0

2 months ago

back, cat, cats, hate, humor, life, mouse, next, next life, people, reincarnation
Welcome to my very loose interpretation of ‘functioning adult’.

0

2 months ago

adult, functioning, humor, identity, interpretation, loose, welcome

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

66 shares on Messenger this month:

We should be able to go to the bar and drink to watch Love Island, like men do with sports.

11 shares on TikTok this month:

The next man who speaks to me will be sacrificed to the gods for a bountiful harvest.

41 shares on TikTok this month:

An app where you and your partner swipe left and right on restaurants until there’s a match. No talking, no negotiation. Who’s building this?

31 shares on Twitch this month:

Wednesday is the part of the novel where the heroine stares out the window and questions everything.

85 shares on TikTok this month:

I knew the date was going well when we shared a glass of gravy with two straws.

64 shares on Twitch this month:

Why can’t men just call you pretty without wording it uncomfortably?

65 shares on Twitch this month:

Befuddlingly, a palm tree won’t fit in your hand.

80 shares on Instagram this month:

What is your favorite movie where Tom Cruise runs really fast?

64 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Pasta is something I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of.

99 shares on Snapchat this month:

My favorite thing to do on the weekend is not leave my house.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

It’s so beautiful to see people just give up at work this time of year. I’m getting emails that do not include any complete sentences.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

I haven’t even gone to bed yet and I already can’t wait to get home from work tomorrow.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

I cannot hear a word you are saying if your hoodie strings are uneven.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

I am calling on public libraries to ban the books that I borrowed and lost. We don’t need that kind of crap in the libraries.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

Journaling was the most useless thing l ever attempted. Not only am I still suffering but now there’s evidence.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

I was actually a little too thankful yesterday so today I’m going to even it out with some ungratefulness and entitlement.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

Relationship status: the black mold in my shower thinks I’m cute.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

Intro to salsa class was weird, I starved myself all day, there was no chips or dips and then these weirdos were all grabby and dancing around.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

My kids couldn’t care less about personal hygiene unless we are running late somewhere.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

Has anybody else completely lost it or is it just me and Kanye?

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Facebook:

Cheating before AI required a level of effort that you ended up learning something by default.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

There is no sex. I lied. You are gonna lay here and take personality quizzes with me.

Going bananas on X:

I will not accept a hint. I will act dumb until you say it clearly to me.

Live now on Discord:

I wanna meet the person whose parents are super disappointed he went to medical school instead of becoming a stand-up comedian.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

If you need time alone, just announce that you need help cleaning the cats litter box.

Going bananas on Reddit:

Twitter hits different, cause it’s like the only social media app you can use effectively while playing music.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Stop rushing in the morning. You’re starting your day in panic mode.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Every day I tell myself, “You got this,” and every day, “this” gets weirder.

Going bananas on X:

Don’t ever let a recipe tell you how much cheese you need to add, everyone knows cheese is measured with the heart.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Pregnancy is crazy. You really come home with someone you don’t know, with no teeth.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Ripping the fishnets off my slutty little oranges.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

If anyone has any experience with anything or knows anything about something, please let me know.

Tried online dating, and it turns out my soulmate is a Nigerian prince who needs my bank details to escape his kingdom.

Moving is legitimately one of the worst human experiences.

This Monday could have been an email.

People that hate cats will come back as mice in their next life.

Welcome to my very loose interpretation of ‘functioning adult’.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨