Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

Dads hate stopping on road trips because then all of the vehicles they worked hard to pass for the last hour get back ahead of them.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

Apparently, everyone on the Zoom calls outside my office finds my singing distracting.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

Dating profiles should make you share a sound bite of you sneezing.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

I wish I had the confidence of someone who would let themselves be tattooed in a place they can’t see.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

If you say “awesome sauce” on a first date, you’ll still have that lucky condom in your wallet tomorrow.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

I can always tell what part of my cycle I’m in by how concerned my friends are over my Tweets.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

Flirting is easy until you have to flirt with the person you like.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

I was dropped as an adult.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

My body’s check engine light has been on for years.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

According to my calculations, we’re all screwed.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,608

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WeChat:

Dance like China isn’t watching.

Just landed via YouTube:

We need a better word for horny that sounds elegant and gorgeous.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Are you my pinky toe, because I will bang you on all my furniture.

Just landed via Discord:

Don’t ask me for work advice, I’m just going to tell you to quit your job.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

The bank just called and gave me the biggest compliment, said my balance is outstanding. I really needed that today.

Just shared via Reddit:

One big difference between men and women is that if a woman says “Smell this,” it usually smells nice.

Making waves on Instagram:

I love being an adult and sitting absolutely still and suddenly I’ve hurt my neck somehow.

Seen just now on Threads:

Seven wives and no alcohol? No thanks, Mormons.

Going viral on WeChat:

I have a drawer in my kitchen that I can’t open anymore because of that one time I decided to put a spatula in it.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I’m never early… unless we’re talking about the airport.

Rock bottom ain’t even that bad of a place to be if you’re into collecting rocks.

Playful quote about loving rocks, humorously comparing rock bottom to a rock collection spot.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Guess I'm just a geologist in disguise, taking "rock bottom" quite literally! 😂🪨📚

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

43 shares on Threads this month:

Drinking coffee because hitting people over the head with a shovel is frowned upon.

13 shares on Twitch this month:

You’d seriously think I was wanted for murder by the way I react when someone knocks on the door.

99 shares on Telegram this month:

If a vegetarian who eats fish is a pescatarian, is a vegetarian who eats chicken called a poultrygeist?

76 shares on Facebook this month:

Hilarious when peoples outgoing voicemail message says they “can’t make it to the phone right now.” You carry the phone with you. It’s the only constant in your life.

78 shares on WeChat this month:

Applied for an internship to gain experience and got rejected because I didn’t have relevant experience.

56 shares on Discord this month:

The phrase “don’t take this the wrong way” has a 0% success rate.

44 shares on WeChat this month:

Chip bags should be clear, show me what you want me to pay $6 for, cowards.

41 shares on X this month:

Cracking the ice cubes out probably feels so good for the ice tray.

26 shares on Snapchat this month:

I know I seem a little crazy sometimes, but that’s because I AM.

42 shares on Snapchat this month:

If you ever think English is not a weird language just remember that read and lead rhyme and read and lead rhyme. But read and lead don’t rhyme, and neither do read and lead.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Every McDonald’s should have a flag they fly at half mast when the ice cream machine is down.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

They’re selling me on Temu tomorrow.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Idea: An app that tells you where that bruise came from.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I want someone to look at me the way I look at a travel booking website.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

If you see me in public, it’s AI.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

New COVID variant subscribes you to random podcasts.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t even check my bank account no more. I just swipe my card and if it’s god’s will, money will be debited.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

My husband thinks he can just order me around like he’s one of the cats.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I showered with my boyfriend. My breasts have never been so clean! Wow!

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Brain, I know you’re trying hard, but you are not doing a good job.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,478

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

It’s so hot to me when a man has a poorly run Instagram account.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

I can’t think of a single email that has ever found me well.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

Traumatized people will navigate emergency situations with calm surety but then have an anxiety attack in a grocery store.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

If anyone wants to sponsor me, I’ll be running a 0.002K this weekend to raise awareness for laziness.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

A bridesmaid, but to carry the end of my CVS receipt.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

Today, I noticed that the cover of my ironing board was wrinkled, and I laughed at the irony. Then I laughed again because of the word “irony.”

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

My weight loss journey is just the three hours in between meals.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

People text you when you look good in photos.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

According to my skin, hair, lips, and hands, I am doing Dry January.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

Fitbits are just Tamagotchis, except the stupid animal you’re trying to keep alive is you.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

The ugliest version of me is the version that comes out when I play board games. I don’t know who she is, but she is a monster. She is not fit for human interaction.

Going bananas on Threads:

“You’ve changed!” Yeah, I don’t like you.

Making waves on YouTube:

The only constant in my life are the accidental screenshots of my lock screen.

Just landed via Slack:

Guy who thinks “generational trauma” means it’s like the goat of trauma.

Trending via Telegram:

The world would be a better place if mosquitoes sucked fat instead of blood.

Going viral on YouTube:

I’m not religious but I know there’s a hell because Monopoly exists.

Shared recently on TikTok:

The worst is when it’s too late to take a nap but too early to go to bed.

Spotted on Discord:

The pizza delivery guys say “see you tomorrow” to everyone, right?

Shared recently on X:

When I say, “I have to be someplace,” what I mean is, “I want to go home.”

Seen just now on X:

Adulthood is saying “but after this week things will slow down a bit” over and over until you die.

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