Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

Cats are probably like: Oh, I should follow you on Litterboxd.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

Most people prefer lies. The truth just hits them like a WiFi outage, and then they just stand there, confused and buffering.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

If camera lenses are round, why are the pictures square?

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

You got a better chance getting chased by a dog than by me.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

Employees should have to take their boss’s last name.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

Not to brag, but I ate all of my bananas before they turned brown. Don’t be jealous.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

The first time you forgive out of love. The second time out of hope and the third time out of stupidity.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

Teaching myself ukulele! Neighbor keeping the beat on my wall!

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

If my son ever came out as gay, I’d be so furious. Furious that he never gave me fashion advice.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

I end all my sentences with “Just saying..” because ending them with “You bonehead..” would probably be considered offensive.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2268 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,430

Funny Quotes Topics

15,132

Funny Quotes Images

12,430

1 minute ago

3,451

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Pinterest:

My boss doesn’t want dogs in the office. But he didn’t say anything about alpacas.

Shared recently on Facebook:

If you tell me to watch until the end, the end better be in five seconds.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

You should introduce your upper lip to your bottom lip sometime and shut up.

Making waves on Discord:

Just imagine how great life would be if pizza made you skinny.

Making waves on Twitch:

Yes, I make bad decisions when I’m drunk. But I wouldn’t say that the decisions I make when I’m sober are any better.

Trending via Discord:

Adults should not be twins. Being twins is for children.

Trending via YouTube:

Holding this fart in feels like I’m pregnant with a dinosaur.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

The recipe I’m making specifically says “allow to cook undisturbed,” and yet my whole family is standing in the kitchen.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Stealing hoodies is for amateurs. Steal his car like a real woman.

Spotted on TikTok:

You want me to pay attention to the details? The thing the devil is in?

Shazam, but for the name of the person who literally just introduced themself to me.

6 months ago

Shazam, but for the name of the person who literally just introduced themself to me.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Oh, you mean the app that immediately tells you everything you need to know about the person standing in front of you? 🤔😄 Well, wouldn't that make networking events a whole lot easier? No more awkward small talk or forgetting names five seconds after being introduced! Here's hoping for that next big tech breakthrough! 💥📱"

awkwardness, forgetfulness, humor, introduction, just, me, name, person, Shazam, social, social awkwardness

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

4 months ago
Share → : The older I get, the more I treat birthdays like one-night stands and just pretend they didn’t happen.
3 months ago
Share → : They should invent someone who holds me.
Jan 22, 2025
Share → : I aspire to be a stay-at-home mom with no kids.
2 days ago
Share → : As a simulation, this all kinda sucks.
6 months ago
Share → : To be fair, a dumpster is like one of the safest places to have a fire.
Jan 21, 2025
Share → : I need to social distance with the refrigerator so I can flatten my curve.
2 weeks ago
Share → : Find someone who looks at you the way I look at a cheeseburger.
6 months ago
Share → : Welcome to your 40s. Your eyes are now like a camera someone doesn’t know how to focus.

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2268 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,430

Funny Quotes Topics

15,132

Funny Quotes Images

12,430

1 minute ago

3,456

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

I could tell by the way she was pouring gasoline on a pile of my clothes that the relationship had hit some turbulence.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

My cats won’t talk to me because I came home late from work.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

You’re in his DMs, I’m outside his window with a JBL speaker streaming Taylor Swift.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

There are rumors that someone came down the chimney last night. This is preposterous. I would have lost my mind.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

Who you are when someone reaches over to take food from your plate… is the real you.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

This is no glow. This is the rage that boils inside me.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

The sexiest thing a man can do is have a problem-solving mentality.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

When you bury a body, cover it with endangered plants, so it’s illegal to dig it up. Follow me for more gardening tips!

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

Maybe God will gift me a boyfriend for my birthday this year.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

Breakups are hard, but have you ever been disappointed in the food you ordered?

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Instagram:

My sleeping pattern ain’t even a pattern anymore, it’s a freestyle that’s on shuffle.

Making waves on YouTube:

Flirting is easy until it’s someone you actually like.

Just landed via Telegram:

If you don’t fall in love with me, I’ll write poetry about you and then you’ll regret it.

Breaking via Discord:

Wow, you did such a great job clicking in your little spreadsheets today. Super proud of you.

Just shared via Slack:

If you’re going to stare all night and not say hello, do you mind taking your fingers and squishing my head from across the room?

Just shared via Instagram:

Half of Twitter is horny, half is depressed and the other half don’t know how to do math.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I never though I’d be the kind of person who wakes up early to exercise. I was right.

Spotted on Threads:

“That’s an interesting take,” I say, not listening.

Trending via Instagram:

Tupperware is a fun way to store your leftovers until you throw them away.

Just shared via Slack:

This year should be named “things I never thought could happen”.

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