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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

I thought my friends in their 60s were making love in the other room but they were just putting on their socks.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

I can’t wait to get married so I can bring home unnecessary stuff and get yelled at for it.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

Pronouncing hyperbole like guacamole.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

I stop myself at least twice a day from posting a status that would make everyone grab popcorn.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

Can we start the weekend again? I wasn’t ready.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

If the earth is so flat, explain why cats haven’t pushed everything off it yet. You can’t.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

Parenting is yelling ‘you just had a snack!’ over and over until you give in and throw them another snack.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

They say “When you snooze, you lose”… I say “When you take a nappy, you are happy.”

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

Call me old, but these days I just get excited to go home and lay down.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

Do you ever stress about money, then accidentally order from Amazon?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,429

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Twitch:

According to the amount of bacon I just cooked. I’m a family of 8.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I never get as envious of parents as I do when their baby starts crying and they get to leave the event.

Live now on Slack:

When I die I want people to say “Hmm, I didn’t know you could die like that.”

Shared recently on Telegram:

What if the universe wasn’t infinite or finite, but a secret third thing?

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I have read the room and decided to be illiterate.

Trending via Instagram:

I have information that will lead to where your hug is at.

Just landed via Pinterest:

If you respond, “A reason for living,” when a store employee asks if they can help you find something, they will leave you alone.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I hate it when I turn on the car in the morning and the music starts blasting… It’s like, woah, I’m not the same person I was last night.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

The main problem is that far too many people have far too easy access to podcast equipment.

Going viral on Messenger:

Everybody in the world, stop fighting or no dessert.

She was rare. Like a parking spot in the front row on a rainy day.

2 weeks ago

Funny Quotes

Witty quote about rarity, comparing someone to a sought-after parking spot on a rainy day.

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Commentary:
Finding someone like that is almost as rare as spotting Bigfoot holding an umbrella ☔️👣🌧️

comparison, day, front, front-row, humor, parking, parking spot, rainy, rainy day, rare, row, spot, uniqueness

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25 shares on Reddit this month:

Guy who thinks “generational trauma” means it’s like the goat of trauma.

12 shares on YouTube this month:

This December is not Decembering like the other Decembers Decembered.

48 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Why is it called “free time” when I use it to spend all my money?

10 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Every time a Taco Bell rings, an angel gets diarrhea.

99 shares on YouTube this month:

The name Ella is short for Mozzarella.

69 shares on Pinterest this month:

Just did my own taxes, I should be in jail by Friday.

15 shares on Reddit this month:

“You never reply to messages.” I am just one person, okay? I am understaffed.

15 shares on Discord this month:

I be butt naked, texting people, and they’ll never know.

32 shares on Telegram this month:

Getting an entry-level job before the release of ChatGPT in 2022 was like taking the last chopper out of Vietnam. Few realize this yet.

68 shares on Messenger this month:

You ever killed your own vibe by remembering?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

Polar bears drinking Coca Cola is my favorite holiday vibe.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

I did some soul searching last night. I’m happy to report I still have one.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

Dads hate stopping on road trips because then all of the vehicles they worked hard to pass for the last hour get back ahead of them.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

I’ve just filed a restraining order against reality.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

Fun Fact: Dove chocolate tastes way better than their soap.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

I could have been somebody if I’d been somebody else.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

If the number 666 is considered evil, then technically, 25.8069758 is the root of all evil.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

Telling her parents you creampie her daily is socially unacceptable. But telling them you’re trying for a baby is a cause for celebration.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

As an outsider, what’s your view on intelligence?

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

God creating the duck: waterproof that chicken and give it a kazoo.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Pinterest:

Nobody is more cold-blooded than a toddler, just saying what they see and feel.

Going viral on Twitch:

The shitshow must go on.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I can’t decide if people who wear pajamas in public have given up on life or are living it to the fullest.

Just shared via Slack:

Calling it a situationship, and the whole time, the situation is that they don’t want you.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Trust me; this is the second millennium I’ve lived in.

Just landed via TikTok:

Marriage is for life. But when that was first said, life was shorter.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Seeing yourself on a FaceTime screenshot really humbles you.

Making waves on TikTok:

Incorrectly is the only word that, when spelled correctly, is still spelled incorrectly.

Seen just now on Slack:

Sleeping in is the most efficient way to find out which morning rituals you can actually do without.

Going viral on Telegram:

Everyone is awful in their own special way.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

She was rare. Like a parking spot in the front row on a rainy day.

I never had kids because little kids see too many ghosts and that’s something I’d rather not know about.

I’m going to be real with you. My dinners lately are just sort of me throwing things into a pot like a witch in a cartoon.

Nobody will know you’re stoned if you’re always stoned.

The folks who write fragrance commercials must be like “I had the weirdest dream, Imma put it on TV.”

My cat and I talked it over and no we don’t think that I’m crazy.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

She was rare. Like a parking spot in the front row on a rainy day.

Keep the laugh going 😂

I never had kids because little kids see too many ghosts and that’s something I’d rather not know about.

I’m going to be real with you. My dinners lately are just sort of me throwing things into a pot like a witch in a cartoon.

Nobody will know you’re stoned if you’re always stoned.

Liquor store clerk: “Do you need help?” Me: “Yes, but I decided to come here instead.”

The folks who write fragrance commercials must be like “I had the weirdest dream, Imma put it on TV.”

My cat and I talked it over and no we don’t think that I’m crazy.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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