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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

Let’s skip the getting-to-know-you phase. Just block me.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

Welcome to Twitter: yeah, none of us can sleep either.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

They say there’s no such thing as a stupid question, but then they’ll go and wake you up to ask if you’re asleep.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

Congratulations on angrily speeding past me to get to the red light first. You’re special.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

I love being a pretty woman because it widens the threshold for cringe-worthy things I can say.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

Hey, sorry I acted weird the other day. I was trying so hard to act normal that it backfired.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

My biggest fear is waking up and being in the Renaissance era or something. Imagine having the knowledge of hot dogs but lacking the tools to make them.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

Everyone loves a little silent treatment on the weekend.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

Everyone’s a gangster until they turn a spoon the wrong way under running water.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

I’m so old and have never even met a woman named Jolene. I’d really like to find her, though. She can have my man.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,761

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Twitch:

They should name a personality disorder after me.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

The share button on Reddit should be called Spreddit.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Biblical loophole: It’s not premarital sex if you never intend to get married.

Breaking via Telegram:

A freshly cleaned bathroom triggers an irresistible urge in men to trim their beard.

Breaking via Telegram:

We all have that one coworker whose sole purpose is to reduce our life expectancy by ten years.

Trending via Slack:

Having a horse run off on you in medieval times must have been crazy. Imagine if your car got scared and ran away, and you found it a day later by itself at a gas station.

Making waves on Twitch:

I hate when I forget to say something during an argument. Like, hey, let’s argue again, I got better material now.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Apparently, the job interviewer doesn’t like it when your biggest weakness is beautiful Latinas.

Shared recently on Discord:

Why aren’t we using these t-shirt cannons for burritos?

Just landed via Discord:

Boss: Why do I have to always come and find you? Me: Because a good employee is hard to find.

Shout out to people jogging in this heat, no, seriously, shout out to make sure they’re okay.

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Shout out to people jogging in this heat, no, seriously, shout out to make sure they’re okay.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Major respect to the sweat warriors! 🚶‍♂️🌞 Just yell out 'You good?' to make sure they're still in one piece! 😂🏃‍♀️"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

52 shares on Threads this month:

I think the real reason this generation is so angry is that their music sucks.

24 shares on Instagram this month:

Salsa counts as a serving of vegetables, right?

77 shares on Messenger this month:

Thanksgiving ain’t been the same ever since my uncle pulled that gun out on everybody.

87 shares on Snapchat this month:

Yes, I upload photos with filters because I want to look good. If you want to see the ugly side of me, come to my house.

78 shares on Telegram this month:

Some people should have read-only access to the internet.

10 shares on Messenger this month:

You can fake a smile, but you can’t fake jazz hands.

99 shares on Reddit this month:

The downside of common sense is, having to deal with those that lack it.

93 shares on Telegram this month:

Saving up ketchup packets in the fridge so I can one day open my own restaurant.

75 shares on WeChat this month:

What a lot of people don’t understand about mountain climbing is that don’t do that.

20 shares on Discord this month:

Stop blaming others for your mistakes. Study Feng Shui and blame the furniture.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Nothing humbles you faster than your phone slipping out of your hand and hitting your face.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

There are days when trying to control your class is like trying to hug a tornado.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I feel like a credit card, cause I’m constantly being used irresponsibly.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Liking a song isn’t enough, I need to be able to call the artist and tell them they did a great job.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

The worst part of online shopping is having to get up and get your credit card from your purse.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

A perfect parent is a person with excellent child-rearing theories and no actual children.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Bowling: The most fun you can have wearing someone else’s shoes.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve decided to become an organ donor. When I die, I want an elephant to get a new trunk.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Shouldn’t it have been called the ‘not answering machine’?

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Messages are way funnier when you know how that person talks.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,699

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

Getting a boner because the Lego instructions are telling me what to do.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

I need a new hobby that costs zero dollars and takes up 100% of my free time. So far, all I’ve come up with is mowing the lawn.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

Life is too short, and death is too long.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

If you’re not happy single you won’t be happy married. Happiness comes from eating food, not from relationships.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

If a woman says she’ll be ready in 15 minutes, she will be. No need to remind her every half hour.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

It’s almost bed time, so I’ll just check my e-mail, Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, and watch a season of my favorite show on Netflix real quick.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

Some people are like “I’m a people pleaser,” and not a single person is pleased with them.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

I’ll see you in your nightmares.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

The older I get, the more I realize how much I love being at home, doing nothing.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

I’m not saying Lois Lane is a bad investigative journalist, but my friend Greg didn’t wear glasses to work yesterday and I recognized him by lunch time.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Discord:

Oftentimes, I like the idea of an activity. The actual doing of said activity, not so much.

Just shared via Reddit:

I’ve never met a cake I didn’t want to fork.

Just landed via Reddit:

There’s not gonna be a civil war. None of us can afford to take that much time off work.

Live now on YouTube:

Please don’t match my crazy. One of us has to be rational here, and it’s definitely not going to be me.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

I’m thinking of maybe killing off a few characters in the book I’m writing. That will really spice up my autobiography.

Live now on TikTok:

Breakups are hard, but have you ever been disappointed in the food you ordered?

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Being a girl must be so easy. All you do is cry all day and text 10 different guys.

Shared recently on X:

IKEA is like the Hotel California of furniture stores.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Wi-Fi: Your internet connection is unstable. Me: You should see my life.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I would describe my personal style as whatever is on top of the pile of clothes on the floor.

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