Silk is a crazy material. “I like your shirt,” thanks. It came out of a bug.

62 shares on Facebook this month:

My life is a constant cycle of waiting for the weekend.

26 shares on Reddit this month:

Vacation is a time when every part of you can relax except your bowels.

51 shares on WeChat this month:

Just bought a new umbrella for the person that finds it tomorrow.

71 shares on Pinterest this month:

As a beautiful woman, sometimes the most powerful thing you can say is “ew.”

16 shares on TikTok this month:

Santa: “Don’t leave me milk. Leave me whiskey.”

13 shares on Reddit this month:

Parents be like, “I gave you everything I had,” and by everything, they meant the collector’s edition boxed set of mental illness.

94 shares on Messenger this month:

Hey kid, wanna hear a scary story? One day, you will be able to do whatever you want, and you will choose to stay home alone.

32 shares on Instagram this month:

If you see me out running, you should run too, because something is definitely chasing me.

42 shares on YouTube this month:

I would like to thank my middle finger for always sticking up for me when I needed it.

83 shares on Messenger this month:

Doing nothing is hard. You never know when you are done.