Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

Our phones fall, we panic. Our friends fall, we laugh.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

Sucks how every girl I’m interested in is either taken or has good taste in men.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

According to your ex, what’s exactly wrong with you?

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

I try not to laugh at my own jokes, but we all know I’m hilarious.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

Venmo is my favorite social media site. I love to see my boy John charge his wife for Martinis.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

When I get bored on a Zoom meeting, I put a cursor under the speaker’s nose to make it look like they have a booger.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

When I get filthy rich, I will stay humble by continuing to use grocery bags as bathroom trash bags.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

I hope we get the nice AI that enslaves us and makes us their pets and not the bad AI that enslaves us to mine lithium or something.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

How do I un-know people?

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

Female rage is your handbag continuously slipping off your shoulder.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

353 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,622

Funny Quotes Topics

17,673

Funny Quotes Images

15,622

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,346

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on WeChat:

Someone at work had a 25-year anniversary, and it took everything in me not to say she’s been working longer than I’ve been alive.

Going viral on Threads:

Hawk o the mornin tuah

Just landed via WeChat:

Who needs dystopian fiction when you can watch the news?

Going bananas on YouTube:

English is so fake. How can you drink a drink, but you can’t food a food?

Just landed via Instagram:

Nothing has improved the quality of my life more than living beyond my means.

Just shared via Threads:

I like my Jims slim and my chances fat.

Spotted on Twitch:

My dad told my sister’s new boyfriend to stand at the end of the picture so he can crop him out whenever she dumps him.

Just landed via TikTok:

Rorschach tests are like so easy. Everything’s either a demon or a butterfly and it’s up to you to decide.

Going viral on WeChat:

Used to wonder why my parents couldn’t grasp technology, but now, anytime I see something new, I’m like, “I’m not learning that.”

Going viral on Reddit:

Don’t let me drive if you’re gonna scream every time we almost die.

Since it’s impossible to know which period of my life is the middle, I’ve decided to have an ongoing crisis.

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Having a permanent dance party with my existential dread! 💃🤯😊

crisis, humor, impossible, know, life, middle, midlife, midlife crisis, ongoing, ongoing crisis, period, reflection, self, self-reflection

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I only like when it rains when I’m home.

2 months ago

comfort, home, humor, i, only, preference, rain, weather
Before you call me an idiot consider this: I know!

2 months ago

before, call, consider, humor, i, idiot, know, me, self-awareness
Words I heard most when I ran errands with my dad: “Wait in the truck.”

2 months ago

childhood, dad, errands, family, humor, i, most, parenting, ran, truck, wait, waiting, words
So many people to disappoint, so little time.

2 months ago

disappointment, expectations, humor, irony, life, little, people, sarcasm, time
I smile at all animals, just not the human ones.

3 weeks ago

animal, animals, human, humor, i, just, ones, sarcasm, smile
I wanna be crazy rich. I’m already crazy, so I’m half way there.

2 months ago

ambition, crazy, halfway, humor, rich, self-awareness, wealth

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

34 shares on Twitch this month:

Unfortunately, a great many problems in life can be solved by just being hotter.

85 shares on Slack this month:

“Boy, you made these perimenopausal ovaries come back to life,” – me flirting.

14 shares on X this month:

My mother still has some really ugly things from the 90s. My older brother, for example.

20 shares on Facebook this month:

I wanted to wear some hot lingerie, but didn’t have any, so I put on this red dental floss.

33 shares on Pinterest this month:

When you want to feel at your thinnest, walk through Walmart at any time of day.

13 shares on Snapchat this month:

My body cracks like a glow stick every time I move, but refuses to light up.

67 shares on LinkedIn this month:

First they give you butterflies, then mental health problems.

97 shares on Instagram this month:

Called myself to see if I’d answer, sent me to voicemail. Twice.

20 shares on Telegram this month:

I used to schedule naps, but now they’re little surprise parties my body throws at all hours of the day.

42 shares on Snapchat this month:

Nice thing about dating a doctor is if you wanna stop seeing them, you can just eat an apple.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

I wonder how many people think, “What the hell?” after talking to me.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

I’m a red flag, but the material is quality.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

Unfortunately, I am literally obsessed with the woman I am when I get stuff done, so I’m just going to keep doing that.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

Sometimes I wonder what happened to the people who asked me for directions.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

Oh, how much I love a Sunday when you don’t have to work the next day.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

I’m sorry, I didn’t realize that you’re an expert on my life and how I should live it! Please continue while I take notes.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

Biggest flex is when your friend’s mom uses you as a good example.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

Halloween pumpkins look even scarier if you just use the ones from last year.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

I refuse to go to a blood bank. I’m not taking your blood money.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Discord:

Had salad for the third night in a row and now I get why you’re so angry, vegans.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Sorry for levitating at the end of your bed all night, I just think you’re really cute.

Spotted on Slack:

50% of parenting is just trying to decide if that noise is worth walking up all of those stairs.

Just shared via Telegram:

“Stop recording everything and just enjoy the moment” is asking me for videos from last night.

Trending via Telegram:

Sure, I could get off the couch today, but then what?

Just landed via TikTok:

The fact Head and Shoulders doesn’t have a body wash called Knees and Toes, is disappointing.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I give such good nudes that nobody ever needs to ask me for a second one.

Shared recently on Instagram:

All these self-driving vehicles… It’s only a matter of time before we hear a country song about his truck leaving him.

Making waves on Instagram:

Back in my day there was so much toilet paper and so much eggs that we gathered at night and threw them at the houses of our enemies.

Going viral on YouTube:

After you’ve been married a long time, you become able to communicate nonverbally. At least, I’m pretty sure that’s why we never speak.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Since it’s impossible to know which period of my life is the middle, I’ve decided to have an ongoing crisis.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I only like when it rains when I’m home.

Before you call me an idiot consider this: I know!

Words I heard most when I ran errands with my dad: “Wait in the truck.”

So many people to disappoint, so little time.

I smile at all animals, just not the human ones.

I wanna be crazy rich. I’m already crazy, so I’m half way there.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨