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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

Dear ads, I have the buying power of a Victorian milkmaid.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

Every day I tell myself, “You got this,” and every day, “this” gets weirder.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

“What do you do for a living?” I do my best.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

And today, just like every day, I learned something new . . . but I’m old, so I forgot what it was already.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

My friends put their kid to bed and then made us ice cream sundaes, which is exactly what I assumed was happening when my parents put me to bed.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

A big shout-out to all the beekeepers. Our unstung heroes.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

Remember, if you start with, “It’s crazy to think…” you can say whatever you want.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

Polish girls are just winter Latinas.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

Apologies for the delays. The suitcase smashing machine has broken down, so we’re having to smash suitcases by hand.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

I’m not falling for it again. These missions have been successful 8 times already.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

354 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,623

Funny Quotes Topics

17,675

Funny Quotes Images

15,623

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,545

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

I took your advice and worked smarter not harder. Now I’m going to need your advice on a good lawyer.

Trending via X:

Buying books and reading them are actually two entirely different hobbies.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Made a lot of mistakes in my life, but adding more cheese than a recipe calls for isn’t one of them.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Rain cancels plans, upsetting some and delighting others.

Seen just now on Slack:

Eating rice with my hands, but not in a political way. In a lazy, fat guy way.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Be the reason why a count unleashes ancient horrors onto the world when he thinks of you.

Just landed via Facebook:

Only bots from Nigeria are allowed to call me dear.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

My favorite military tradition is asking someone what an acronym means right after they use it, and they don’t know what it means.

Making waves on TikTok:

They should invent a body that doesn’t keep the score.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Apologies for the late response, instead of spending three minutes answering your email, I ignored it and felt anxious for two weeks.

Since it’s impossible to know which period of my life is the middle, I’ve decided to have an ongoing crisis.

Since it’s impossible to know which period of my life is the middle, I’ve decided to have an ongoing crisis.
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Commentary:
Having a permanent dance party with my existential dread! 💃🤯😊

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

63 shares on Slack this month:

Do you ever cycle through the same 4 apps on your phone over and over again, and feel like a tiger pacing its cage at the zoo?

65 shares on Twitch this month:

Airbnb should have an option if you just want to use someone’s bathroom for a few minutes.

89 shares on Twitch this month:

Once you find humor in any situation, you have nothing to fear.

32 shares on TikTok this month:

In honor of the fall equinox, I will also be cold, distant and filled with darkness.

75 shares on X this month:

Hey, sorry I can’t go out tonight. I already showered and got into bed, and now I’m busy rubbing my feet together like a little grasshopper.

22 shares on Reddit this month:

Friday the 13th used to mean something. Now every day is awful.

22 shares on Twitch this month:

Therapy? I have Spotify.

37 shares on WhatsApp this month:

By now, we’ve all figured out that these LED bulbs don’t actually last 15 years, but we’ve collectively decided to just let it slide.

95 shares on Instagram this month:

Good morning to everyone except myself cause I wish I was still asleep.

31 shares on TikTok this month:

People pass a joint around like it’s no big deal, but the minute I ask someone to do that with their Subway sandwich, I’m a weirdo.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Bring me a higher love. You have 24 hours. No cops.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Some days you feel like a hotel light. You’re there, but you don’t have enough energy to really do anything.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I once quit a job, and when my boss asked why, I simply said, “I hate it here.” Best day of my life.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

If Wonka had a spaghetti factory, I’d get sucked into a marinara river tube so fast.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Honestly, will never top the year I told everyone I was going to be Amelia Earhart for Halloween, and then didn’t show up to the party.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I put the ‘no’ in ‘I will let u know’.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I like to notice patterns and do nothing about it.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Ah coffee. The sweet balm by which we shall accomplish today’s tasks.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

What a strange day. And it has been for years.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I can relate to America, because I too am about to enter a depression.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

354 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,623

Funny Quotes Topics

17,675

Funny Quotes Images

15,623

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,734

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

Customers will say shit like, “Uhh, it’s asking me to remove my card?”

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

Not gonna lie, I just assume everyone is AI now.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

An easy way to check if you’re attractive: send a “Hey” DM and see if they reply.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

I’m the kind of crazy you weren’t warned about because no one knew this level existed.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

When I’m done eating… I have to show my hands to my cat, like I’m a blackjack dealer.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

I’ve never wished a man dead, but I’ve read some obituaries with great pleasure.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

I haven’t had sex in so long, I forgot how to moan, what if I mess up and bark?

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

The horror: “Come on, I’ll introduce you to everyone.”

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

I had to quit my job because people kept falling in love with me there.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

Why insult someone when you can say something nice in a very sarcastic tone?

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Pinterest:

When I was a kid, we still ate noodles. Then at some point we ate pasta. Today, we only eat carbs.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

The worst is when it’s too late to take a nap but too early to go to bed.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Just once I’d like to hear a doctor say, “Your guess is as good as mine.”

Seen just now on X:

It’s so rude how many of you have the audacity to be out peopling around whenever I go somewhere.

Trending via TikTok:

There’s no way the Scooby Doo gang never found a dead body.

Live now on Telegram:

My morning routine is basically just me convincing myself not to go back to bed.

Going viral on Facebook:

I only trust people who give off unemployable energy.

Just shared via Discord:

Christmas bonus so small you have to call your bank and ask “is it in yet?”

Trending via WeChat:

Ever notice how many towns are named after their water tower?

Trending via TikTok:

The problem with meal prep is you have to eat the meal that you prepped.

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