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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

Getting tired without doing anything is an art form.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

Don’t worry, you’ll find the lost scissors when you’ll be searching for your glasses.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

When Hulk wrecks shit he’s “incredible.” When I do it I’m “causing a scene” and “need to leave this place immediately.”

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

Interviewer: “What did you learn from your previous job?” Me: “That I need a new job.”

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

A dating app that matches people by the conspiracy theories they are interested in.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

It’s time I admit something: Sometimes, when I say good night, I don’t actually go to bed right away.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

Ever since I learned about the concept of networking, I knew I was going to have to do everything alone and do it the hard way.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

494 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,087

Funny Quotes Topics

17,241

Funny Quotes Images

15,087

Updated

Dec 19, 2025

Users Online

3,971

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Instagram:

Maybe Rome was built in a day. I wasn’t there.

Just landed via Slack:

Adulting is realizing you can’t skip work like you skipped school.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

It’s like 10,000 steps when all you need is a nap.

Making waves on YouTube:

I don’t have a nervous system, I am a nervous system.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Me: This show is really boring. Boss: Again, this a zoom conference.

Going bananas on Threads:

I hate having a ton of anxiety and no energy. It’s like having a tank full of gas and no engine.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

“I asked ChatGPT.” Okay, well, I asked my mom.

Since it’s impossible to know which period of my life is the middle, I’ve decided to have an ongoing crisis.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Having a permanent dance party with my existential dread! 💃🤯😊

crisis, humor, impossible, know, life, middle, midlife, midlife crisis, ongoing, ongoing crisis, period, reflection, self, self-reflection

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

So crazy to just be living every day through the slow-motion car crash of escalating fascism, and it’s still like, “Aww, man, I have to go to the dentist.”

2 months ago

car, car crash, crash, crazy, daily, daily life, day, dentist, every, fascism, frustration, humor, i, irony, just, life, living, man, motion, slow, slow motion, still, through
Dear people, who drive without music playing, what do you do with your brain?

1 month ago

activity, boredom, brain, curiosity, drive, driving, humor, music, people, playing
Nothing messes up your Friday like realizing it’s only Thursday.

1 month ago

confusion, Friday, humor, nothing, realization, schedule, Thursday, time, weekend
They should invent harmless cigarettes for aura farming purposes.

1 month ago

aura, aura farming, cigarette, cigarettes, farming, harmless, humor, invent, invention, should
At the gym, everyone thinks exclusively about how little weight I can lift and how quickly I’m out of breath, because the world revolves around me.

2 months ago

around, breath, everyone, exercise, fitness, gym, humor, i, lift, little, me, revolve, self-centered, weight, world
My wife just pulled me into the other room, and I thought she wanted to have a serious talk, but she just wanted to give me M&M’s without the kids seeing.

2 weeks ago

give, humor, i, just, kid, kids, M&M, marriage, me, room, secret, seeing, serious, snack, surprise, talk, thought, wanted, wife

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

If the earth is so flat, explain why cats haven’t pushed everything off it yet. You can’t.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

They should invent someone who holds me.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

I stopped understanding math when the alphabet decided to get involved.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

I appreciate the interest, but I’m officially removing myself from the running to be the next James Bond. Thank you for your understanding.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

The first person to realize you can eat bone marrow must have really hated that cow.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

You can generate images with your mind whenever you want. You don’t even need AI.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

Fundamentally, I understand chess, because I too would never let my king feel unsafe.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on YouTube:

Imagine hating me and im just at my desk spinning reeaaally fast in my office chair.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Hey, I noticed you’re completely uninterested in me and couldn’t care whether I live or die. Would you like to build a life together?

Freshly posted on Threads:

Having to pee really puts things into perspective. Like, OK, none of this matters.

Going viral on Instagram:

Guess I’ll be getting the same thing for Christmas, again. Fat!

Just landed via Facebook:

If you turn your phone off for 1 day, you’ll realize it’s still 2007 outside.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

You never realize what you have until it’s gone. Toilet paper is a good example.

Just shared via YouTube:

I’m eating for two; me and the person I strive to be.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Since it’s impossible to know which period of my life is the middle, I’ve decided to have an ongoing crisis.

So crazy to just be living every day through the slow-motion car crash of escalating fascism, and it’s still like, “Aww, man, I have to go to the dentist.”

Dear people, who drive without music playing, what do you do with your brain?

Nothing messes up your Friday like realizing it’s only Thursday.

They should invent harmless cigarettes for aura farming purposes.

At the gym, everyone thinks exclusively about how little weight I can lift and how quickly I’m out of breath, because the world revolves around me.

My wife just pulled me into the other room, and I thought she wanted to have a serious talk, but she just wanted to give me M&M’s without the kids seeing.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

I survived a Monday, and for what? Tuesday? Disgusting.

Just paid my bills, so don’t ask me to come out. I’m at home getting my money’s worth.

Who is praying on my downfall right now and can you stop?

Most guys probably just have a foot fetish because their first girlfriend was a sock.

If you relate to me, get some help!

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

I think everyone should get $500 deposited into their accounts every day, just for waking up.

My weight loss journey is just the three hours in between meals.

Mentally saying “Wed-Nes-Day” when writing the word Wednesday.

The shitshow must go on.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Behind every robot that turns evil is an engineer who specifically installed red LEDs into the eyes just for this scenario.

My three favorite things are eating my family and not using commas.

I was not meant for Microsoft Teams.

Sorry for bouncing my leg. I’m not allowed to bash my head into the walls anymore.

Actually, this email could’ve been a meeting. We could’ve spent an hour on the clock talking shit and gossiping. Someone could’ve brought bagels.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Stop animal testing! Use my ex!

You should be allowed to miss work if you’re not feeling sexy.

I would like you to meet my significant other. Her name is Cheese.

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Since it’s impossible to know which period of my life is the middle, I’ve decided to have an ongoing crisis.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

So crazy to just be living every day through the slow-motion car crash of escalating fascism, and it’s still like, “Aww, man, I have to go to the dentist.”

Dear people, who drive without music playing, what do you do with your brain?

Nothing messes up your Friday like realizing it’s only Thursday.

They should invent harmless cigarettes for aura farming purposes.

At the gym, everyone thinks exclusively about how little weight I can lift and how quickly I’m out of breath, because the world revolves around me.

My wife just pulled me into the other room, and I thought she wanted to have a serious talk, but she just wanted to give me M&M’s without the kids seeing.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

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