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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

Some people graduate with honors, I am just honored to graduate.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

I keep forgetting i’m at the age where people will tell me they’re pregnant and my reaction is supposed to be positive.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

I need to start hiding my money from myself.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

Welcome to your 40s: here’s ten pounds.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

No matter how sad their story is, don’t let anybody move into your house.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

Yes, I’ve gained weight. Too many people wanted to have sex with me. It was annoying.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

God, on inventing the tiger: “Okay, so this is going to be some kind of cat that likes to eat Frosted Flakes.”

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

Anytime someone throws a Great Gatsby themed party, I have to assume they never finished the book.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

The first time you forgive out of love. The second time out of hope and the third time out of stupidity.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

Welcome to your 50’s. Your doctor and pharmacist are both in your contacts now.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

782 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,944

Funny Quotes Topics

13,916

Funny Quotes Images

10,944

25 minutes ago

3,433

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Messenger:

I love coming home and being at home and sitting inside my home and staying home.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

There’s no one I respect more than duck hunters. You spent $15,000 on a camouflage boat to outsmart a duck.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Sorry, I don’t think I can hang out this weekend, my 4-year-old is still telling a joke.

Just landed via Instagram:

Please pray for my husband, he’s struggling to find me.

Breaking via Slack:

My swear jar is having a very profitable week.

Going viral on Telegram:

Does anyone know where I can get my shit together?

Broadcasted on X:

I have a photographic memory, but I’ve run out of film.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Are oranges called oranges because they are orange, or is the color orange called orange because an orange is orange?

Going viral on YouTube:

Befuddlingly, a palm tree won’t fit in your hand.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

The world is in chaos, confess to your crush!

Sitting next to you on an empty train and clicking my stopwatch every time you turn a page in your book.

6 months ago

Sitting next to you on an empty train and clicking my stopwatch every time you turn a page in your book.

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Commentary:
Ah, the timeless art of blending creepiness with performance art on public transport 🚆⏱️📖 Who needs Netflix when you've got live-action psychological thriller unfolding right beside you? Just your daily dose of unexpected entertainment! Just remember, every page turn adds another tick towards literary suspense – or possibly a restraining order! 😂 #PassengerPeekaboo

activity, book, boredom, clicking, empty, every, funny activity, next, observation, page, sitting, stopwatch, time, train, turn

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

782 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,944

Funny Quotes Topics

13,916

Funny Quotes Images

10,944

25 minutes ago

3,432

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

Dinosaurs are always described as “roaming” the earth, which is patronizing as hell, I bet they had places to go and important shit to do.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

Liquor store clerk: “Do you need help?” Me: “Yes, but I decided to come here instead.”

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

My first thought upon waking up in the morning is “not again”.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

I remixed a remix, it was back to normal.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

You say “multitask” like it’s a good thing.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

I have my own hand stamper at home so my coworkers will think I went someplace fun the night before.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

I’ve decided to become an organ donor. When I die, I want an elephant to get a new trunk.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

8 planets, 204 countries, thousands of islands, 7 seas, 8 billion people, and I’m single.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

My bathroom mirror after a long party weekend: “Girl, those vitamins can’t help you now.”

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

Mornings would be fine if they started later.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Reddit:

Dogs will go through amazing effort to get a better view of your plate.

Trending via Facebook:

I can’t decide if people who wear pajamas in public have given up on life, or they are living it to the fullest.

Breaking via Slack:

I sometimes have the desire to meet certain people again for the first time. Only to simply walk past them.

Reported on Discord:

It takes a lot of balls to golf the way I do.

Going viral on Slack:

Unless I say otherwise, I am always tired.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Telling my coworkers I can’t talk in meetings today because I need to save my voice for concerts this weekend.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Looking forward to another year of crushing reality and unfulfilled dreams.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

You know what I never see anymore are those old alcoholics with the weird noses.

Seen just now on Slack:

I feel sorry for non-glasses wearers. They’ll never know the joy of cleaning them and suddenly being upgraded to the UHD package.

Shared recently on TikTok:

“You’re acting weird!” I’m not acting.

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