Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

The first thing you need to know about social media is that everyone’s on vacation, except for you.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

The best addition to any essay is, of course, a condescending tone.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

I feel like Mario has more raw prowess, but Luigi is probably the more sensual lover.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

There are always new uncomplimentary angles to view yourself from. Keep contorting!

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

That one British friend that’s too bloke.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

They’re putting me through the penny flattening machine at the zoo.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

Because of my looks, everyone only wants one thing from me, that I leave them alone.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

Adulting has stunned me into silence. I have no thoughts, no remarks and no commentary at the moment.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

Think I’ll get high enough to find out if there’s a God. Stay tuned.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

The woman that cleaned my house could make a lot of money by threatening to release the before and after photos.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,382

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Snapchat:

Cats must think we’re so weird for constantly harvesting their poop.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Your call is very important to us, here’s six days of irritating music.

Just shared via X:

Real lovers are currently single, by the way.

Making waves on X:

There I was, quietly reliving my dream of having my own house, when suddenly I was attacked by insane prices.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Congratulations on angrily speeding past me to get to the red light first. You’re special.

Seen just now on Threads:

I’m glad nobody can see the face I make when I’ve just started the washing machine and then spot a sock on the floor.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

…and so ends another week of me not becoming unexpectedly rich.

Making waves on Messenger:

I love 12 a.m. to 5 a.m. The world is so quiet.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

It was the worst of times, it was the worst of times.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

That moment when you finish watching a TV series and you don’t know what to do with your life any more.

Sitting on the middle seat of this flight and both my seatmates are reading my book over my shoulder. Should I just start reading it aloud?

3 weeks ago

Playful quote about uncomfortable airplane seatmates eavesdropping on your book. Funny and witty.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Looks like you've got an impromptu book club at 30,000 feet! 📚✈️ Might as well turn this flight into a live audio book experience – complete with in-flight commentary and dramatic pauses! Who needs in-flight entertainment when you have captive audiences on either side? 😄 #BookClubInFlight"

aloud, awkward, awkward situation, book, flight, humor, i, just, middle, middle seat, over, reading, seat, seatmate, should, sitting, situation, start

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

90 shares on WeChat this month:

Eternal Sunshine of the Thotless Grind.

13 shares on Messenger this month:

I don’t mean to disrupt the hotel industry, but how about checkout is 24 hours after you check in?

47 shares on Telegram this month:

Don’t invite me anywhere last minute. I enjoy doing nothing, so I need to know ahead of time if my plan to do nothing needs to be changed.

85 shares on YouTube this month:

I would do absolutely anything to get 8 hours of sleep, except for going to bed 8 hours before I need to wake up.

89 shares on Twitch this month:

The secret ingredient to being really funny is childhood trauma.

46 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Not going is the new leaving early.

61 shares on Reddit this month:

Nostalgia isn’t as good as it used to be.

42 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m so smart, I got rid of cable and now I only have $638 in monthly streaming services.

49 shares on Reddit this month:

The place where you pour in the gas is the car’s gasshole.

85 shares on Threads this month:

Having siblings is so important because you learn the exact amount you can annoy someone before they try to physically kill you.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I disagree with everyone and think relationships should be easy.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Half of Twitter is horny, half is depressed, and the other half don’t know how to do math.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

“AI is coming for your job.” Yeah, I’d like to see AI drink 11 coffees, then have a panic attack.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Karma not moving fast enough for me. I would hate to handle it myself, Lord.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

You can tell a group isn’t gonna make it big just by their name.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I think something is so beautifully wrong with you.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry I’m late. I was scraping the clearance tag off your Christmas present.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

If you’re a dude and you’re having a bad day, just remember, no one cares.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Some days you feel like you’re surrounded by idiots, other days you realize it’s not just some days.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

You have one week to ask me to be your Valentine. Requests must be in the form of poetic verse written in your blood.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,317

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

Just looked around and realized it’s everyone’s first time living.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

My doctor told me to try a milk bath. Adding the Cinnamon Toast Crunch was my idea.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

Why are people always so scared of self-checkouts when shopping? It’s much quicker and you always get something for free.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

Why are conclusions necessary in essays? Were you not following?

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

Therapists are like, “You don’t owe anyone anything. Except me. You owe me 250 dollars for this session.”

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

Drugs and alcohol take years off your life and give them to Keith Richards.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

I’m experimenting with how many apples I need to eat a day to keep everyone away, whatever their profession.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

Remember, when asking for a raise, it is considered customary to be sober.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

I’ll find a cell mate before I’ll ever find a soulmate.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

My therapist said cutting people off isn’t healthy. She’s next.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Reddit:

The more you embrace your crazy side, the more fun life becomes.

Just landed via Discord:

I actually do check to see if you told me happy birthday before I tell you.

Breaking via Instagram:

At the grocery store, but forgot my wife’s list so I guess I’ll just follow this other guy around and get what he gets.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Prison pen pal doesn’t want us to write each other anymore. Finds my life too depressing.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Wanted to update everybody on my diet. I’ve decided it’s okay to be fat.

Just landed via WeChat:

My cat just knocked over my coffee mug and looked at me like it was my fault. How dare I put it on the edge of the table?

Just landed via LinkedIn:

People who remember to drink water, what’s that like?

Going viral on WeChat:

Getting older is sexy. You moan more.

Spotted on Telegram:

I wish my Fitbit could track all the steps I’ve taken trying to find where I put it.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

“You should exercise for at least 30 minutes every day”. Okay, and how much if you’re not trying to go to the Olympics?

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴