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Ah, winter mornings – where the struggle to get out of bed is as real as the struggle to find daylight! 😴❄️ Embrace those extra hours of cozy lazing before the darkness creeps back in like a stealthy ninja. Who needs daylight savings when you've got a natural alarm clock telling you to hit snooze one more time? Stay snuggled up, my friends! ☀️🌒 #WinterWins #DaylightDilemma

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Betrayal only comes from someone we’re close to. Just like herpes.

1 month ago
betrayal, close, friendship, herpes, humor, irony, just, relationship, someone, trust
If the interviewer doesn’t think it’s cool when you pull a quarter out of his ear, the job wasn’t good enough for you anyways.

1 month ago
confidence, cool, ear, good, humor, interviewer, job, magic, magic trick, quarter, think, trick, workplace
I’ve heard so much about the “Eye of the Tiger,” but how come no one ever talks about the other four letters?

1 month ago
ever, eye, four, humor, joke, letter, letters, much, tiger, wordplay
Pluck a single eyebrow hair in 1994, and it never grows back. Pluck a single chin hair today, and it’s back with five friends by 6 p.m.

3 months ago
1994, 6, aging, back, chin, chin hair, exaggeration, eyebrow, eyebrow hair, facial, facial hair, five, friends, friendship, growth, hair, hair growth, humor, never, pluck, single, time, today
I only went to medical school to figure out where your arms are supposed to go when you sleep and they didn’t even teach us that.

1 month ago
anatomy, arms, confusion, education, even, figure, humor, i, medical, medical school, position, school, sleep, sleep position, teach, where
The best thing capitalism has done is put a little window on pasta boxes so the noodles can look out at the world.

1 month ago
best, capitalism, done, food, humor, little, noodles, observation, pasta, perspective, put, thing, window, world

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

I’m multitasking: I can listen, ignore and forget at the same time.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

If she says “it’s fine,” you’re probably in trouble.

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Gonorrhea would’ve been a great name for diarrhea medicine.

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I like liking Instagram stories because I like pressing buttons.

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It’s not my job to tell people where they’re failing in life. It’s just a hobby.

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My doctor told me “good luck” and gave me finger guns, so obviously I’m dying.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

This too shall pass. And then some other bullshit will come and take its place. It never fucking ends.

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Live now on Telegram:

If you can’t handle me at my worst just imagine how I feel.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Social media may have been a mistake.

Just shared via X:

This meeting should’ve been a fist fight.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Getting stoned when you have a cat is awesome because it will just walk in and I’m immediately cracking up. Like, look at this dude, I bloody love this guy.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I read classics because my FOMO is making me want to understand every reference ever.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I don’t need a midlife crisis. My whole life is a crisis.

Just landed via Snapchat:

This can’t be the same body that used to be able to pull all nighters.

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Sleeping in in winter is really great, you still have about an hour of daylight left before it gets dark again.

Betrayal only comes from someone we’re close to. Just like herpes.

If the interviewer doesn’t think it’s cool when you pull a quarter out of his ear, the job wasn’t good enough for you anyways.

I’ve heard so much about the “Eye of the Tiger,” but how come no one ever talks about the other four letters?

Pluck a single eyebrow hair in 1994, and it never grows back. Pluck a single chin hair today, and it’s back with five friends by 6 p.m.

I only went to medical school to figure out where your arms are supposed to go when you sleep and they didn’t even teach us that.

The best thing capitalism has done is put a little window on pasta boxes so the noodles can look out at the world.

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One of my favorite parts of grocery shopping is when somebody else does it for me.

If we’re walking together, just know I’ll definitely bump into you because I can’t walk in a straight line.

Coffee ain’t gonna cut it today. I need the blood of my enemies.

Making fun of bands that only play 3 chords when I don’t even know what a chord is.

Sunsets and women are undoubtedly God’s best creations.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here playing with my arm fat.

Who wants to do all my adult stuff for me today?

We seriously need to bring back courting. What the hell is ‘wyd tonight?’ Arrive on a horse and bring flowers like a man.

Having a sunburn is so humiliating. Now everyone knows I was unprepared for the realities of the wilderness. It marks me as the weakest link. The hungry animals are closing in.

Making things weird is probably the only thing I’m good at.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Did you get that psychic damage I sent you?

I can’t work under these festive conditions.

Not being able to fall asleep is so embarrassing. All I’m asking my brain to do is nothing and it can’t even do that?

I went to a mind reader. She almost went mad.

Sorry about all the mean stuff I said when I was right.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

There are two types of people: those who are clueless about their kids’ schedules and the other who plan it down to the minute. And they end up marrying each other.

Don’t blame the holidays, you were already overweight in August.

Two mysterious people live in my house. “Somebody” and “Nobody.” Somebody did it and nobody knows who.

I’m writing a book on the joys of drinking beer. So far I’ve been through a lot of drafts.

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Sleeping in in winter is really great, you still have about an hour of daylight left before it gets dark again.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Betrayal only comes from someone we’re close to. Just like herpes.

If the interviewer doesn’t think it’s cool when you pull a quarter out of his ear, the job wasn’t good enough for you anyways.

I’ve heard so much about the “Eye of the Tiger,” but how come no one ever talks about the other four letters?

Pluck a single eyebrow hair in 1994, and it never grows back. Pluck a single chin hair today, and it’s back with five friends by 6 p.m.

I only went to medical school to figure out where your arms are supposed to go when you sleep and they didn’t even teach us that.

The best thing capitalism has done is put a little window on pasta boxes so the noodles can look out at the world.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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