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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

Deodorant? No, I never need to buy any. People just give it to me. Complete strangers sometimes.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

Piñatas are a fun way to intentionally maim the guests at your party.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

Currently helping my husband look for his $20 I spent yesterday.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

Just saw a piece of jewelry made in the 80s described as “vintage,” so I’ll be laying down the rest of the day.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

Kids these days don’t know the shame of having to explain yo-yo injuries.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

I’ve been commissioned to kiss you on the lips. I need to get this done by tonight.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

Sarah Connor would be awfully disappointed in us all, letting this Grok into our lives.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

I love saying “why would I lie” when I’m lying.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

I am like the weather. Temporarily friendly.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

In my defense, Your Honor, I was left unsupervised.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,428

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Welcome to your 40s. Your bra wins the Oscar for the best actor in a supportive role.

Breaking via Reddit:

Two things I learned yesterday: I’m not too old to sit in a beanbag chair, but I’m too old to get out of one.

Spotted on Threads:

Pouring Diet Coke directly into my gunshot wound.

Seen just now on TikTok:

A word to the wise ain’t necessary, it’s the stupid ones who need advice.

Just shared via Facebook:

Tried a smile yesterday and my white blood cells attacked it.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

I’m going to be real with you. My dinners lately are just sort of me throwing things into a pot like a witch in a cartoon.

Breaking via Slack:

I march to the beat of my own dumb.

Shared recently on Facebook:

While you were rotting and wasting your life away, I was doing the exact same thing.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I was going to learn to play the violin, but it was too much of a commitment. I wanted something with no strings attached.

Shared recently on Slack:

I’ll kill the vibe, so you don’t have to.

Sleeping in in winter is really great, you still have about an hour of daylight left before it gets dark again.

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Sleeping in in winter is really great, you still have about an hour of daylight left before it gets dark again.
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Commentary:
Ah, winter mornings – where the struggle to get out of bed is as real as the struggle to find daylight! 😴❄️ Embrace those extra hours of cozy lazing before the darkness creeps back in like a stealthy ninja. Who needs daylight savings when you've got a natural alarm clock telling you to hit snooze one more time? Stay snuggled up, my friends! ☀️🌒 #WinterWins #DaylightDilemma

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

11 shares on Facebook this month:

Work from home is all fun and games until you lose grip on reality.

61 shares on X this month:

(to the boys in the yard) I hope you brought your own milkshake.

11 shares on Telegram this month:

I wonder how many calories I can burn petting my cat.

28 shares on TikTok this month:

I think God was high when he made me.

98 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If history repeats itself, I’m getting a pet dinosaur.

68 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I could have been somebody if I’d been somebody else.

97 shares on YouTube this month:

364 days until Christmas, and people already have decorations up. Unbelievable.

54 shares on Snapchat this month:

I can’t believe I slept good all night. What a rush.

20 shares on Pinterest this month:

The worst part of my grandfather’s dementia was slowly watching him forget about Dre.

31 shares on TikTok this month:

I lied, I’m jealous. I hope every girl who looks at you gets clipped by a meteor.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Is my life this bad because I didn’t forward that email to 15 people back in 2007?

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Staring sadly at the empty ice cream bowl that’s too small for licking.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Passwords are like underwear: You shouldn’t leave them out where people can see them, you should change them regularly, and you shouldn’t loan them out to strangers.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

There is a reason I’m single and it’s called my face.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I have a great poker face because I have no idea what’s going on.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I am just a man, a man who told a woman to calm down, so I guess this is goodbye.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

You know that moment when you get up in the morning, you’re full of energy and you can’t wait to get to work? Me neither!

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I tiptoe near my medicine cabinet because I don’t want to wake my sleeping pills.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Agriculture can’t possibly be a dying industry. Bot farms are booming.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

We can put a man on the moon but we can’t find a good way to drink wine from a lying down position.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,265

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

I just need a little time to warm up to you, and then I’ll be super fun, I promise—1-2 years at most.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

For my birthday, I want everyone to tell me how much they love me and why in immense detail.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

If you would just let me help, you’d be in an even worse position than you are now.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

I think humans are meant to lay in bed with the love of their life all winter.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

What’s wrong, babe? You hardly touched your own advice you give to others.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

Every man learns for himself the uselessness of owning an iPad.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

Sometimes I’m out in public and I have to look down real quick to make sure I remembered to put on pants.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

Sorry for zoning out, bro. It’s just, I’ve been having a bad day for several years.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

Parents become grandparents and lose all their senses. All of a sudden, they got McDonald’s money now.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

I have never seen a single “when animals attack” video that I wasn’t rooting for the animal.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I need to eat healthier but donuts exist.

Making waves on Facebook:

Remember, when a package says “sharing size”, that’s just a guideline. They have no enforcement mechanism.

Making waves on Slack:

White, black, yellow, brown, Democrat, Republican, man, woman, straight, gay, transgender, Jew, Christian, Muslim, young and old — you will all taste the same to the zombies.

Breaking via X:

“Never let someone else destroy your stuff when you can destroy it yourself”, every kid I ever.

Going bananas on Discord:

20’s: what even is a hangover? 40’s: puts on sunglasses to open fridge…

Just shared via YouTube:

I hate everyone in front of me at this checkout line, everyone behind me is cool.

Going viral on Threads:

Why is it spelled “camouflage” and not “ “?

Going bananas on Threads:

I thought my mixed signals were perfectly clear.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Follow me on Instagram if you want to see me post absolutely nothing for weeks.

Trending via TikTok:

It’s awkward touching hands with another man inside a popcorn bag, especially if you don’t know the man and he doesn’t know you’re eating his popcorn.

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