Trendy Funny Quotes

  • You think you’re your own worst critic? Just wait till you have kids.
  • “Are you free tomorrow?” No, tomorrow I’m still expensive.
  • Drugs don’t ruin lives. Drug tests do.
  • How do I gracefully leave this party early but also take the queso dip with me?
  • Good morning to everyone except the baristas who don’t tighten the lid.
  • I don’t want to brag or anything, but I can still fit in the earrings I wore in high school.