Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

The horror of being warned that the person you’re about to meet is “fine once you get to know them”.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

My wife has the worst taste in men.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

I wonder if BBQ thinks about me too.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

I’m feeling very anxious. I think this 7th mug of coffee will take the edge off.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

Does anyone know where I can get my shit together?

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

I want to be a garbage man, so I only have to work one day a week.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

Welcome to your 40s: you get tired from sleeping now.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

I never forget to eat, but I do eat to forget.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

Normalize throwing lamps at people who need to lighten up.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

Ask a man what a good woman is, and watch him describe a slave.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,403

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Telegram:

I love hard, but I stupid harder.

Just landed via X:

Women are like apples; I like biting them.

Just landed via Pinterest:

People who remember to drink water, what’s that like?

Just shared via Threads:

“Male loneliness epidemic” and it’s just karma and the consequences of their actions.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

We seriously need to bring back courting. What the hell is ‘wyd tonight?’ Arrive on a horse and bring flowers like a man.

Spotted on YouTube:

Once again, I have fallen for life’s biggest scam: being two hours early for a flight only for security to take roughly seven minutes.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Imagine going to see a situationship in 1868, and you go outside, and your horse is dead as hell.

Just shared via Threads:

Just when you’ve built some confidence that you’re a smarter than average human, universe sends you captcha.

Going bananas on Slack:

Opposites often not only attract each other, they often also undress each other.

Just shared via X:

I’m not a perfectionist. I’m more of a good-enoughist.

So far, every Miss Universe winner has been from Earth.

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Guess those alien pageant contestants didn’t stand a chance against Earth’s gravity! 👽👑🌎

beauty, beauty pageant, Earth, every, humor, joke, miss, Miss Universe, pageant, space, universe, winner

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’m fighting for free speech. Mine, not yours, so be quiet.

0

2 months ago

contradiction, fighting, free, free speech, humor, irony, mine, opinion, quiet, sarcasm, self-interest, silence, speech, yours
One thing that sucks about being grown-up is not being able to say, “My mom said no,” when you don’t want someone to come over.

0

2 months ago

able, adulting, being, boundary, excuse, mom, over, said, say, someone, sucks, thing, visitor, want
Kids today have it much easier. When I was growing up and something bad happened, we had to go outside and spread our misinformation in person.

0

2 months ago

bad, bad situation, growing, growing up, humor, i, interaction, kids, misinformation, much, nostalgia, outdoors, outside, person, personal, personal interaction, situation, something, spread, today
When a man likes you, he talks to you every day, and apparently, when you start to like him back, he is very busy and can’t talk at all. That’s how it works.

0

4 months ago

apparently, back, busy, communication, dating, day, every, humor, irony, likes, man, relationship, start, talk, works
Don’t forget to brush your teeth, comb your hair, cleanse your face, and share my posts.

0

2 months ago

brush, daily, daily routine, face, forget, hair, humor, hygiene, media, posts, routine, self-care, share, sharing, social, social media, teeth
You can mess up big time letting someone know you have a printer.

0

2 months ago

awkward, awkward situation, big, big time, communication, know, mess, mess up, printer, relationship, situation, someone, technology, time

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

76 shares on TikTok this month:

Y’all need to stop marrying people who look just like you do but with a wig on.

86 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Wanna come over and see my mis-matched sock collection?

48 shares on X this month:

Mixing 1% milk and 2% milk to create the forbidden 1.72% milk.

65 shares on Telegram this month:

Stick with me and you’ll go places. None of them good, but still.

22 shares on Pinterest this month:

Before I work on myself, does anyone like me unhinged?

12 shares on TikTok this month:

In high school I was voted “most likely to hold a grudge” and I’m still mad about it.

10 shares on YouTube this month:

When you realize a 9 to 5 is actually an 8 to 7, since you cannot teleport to work.

70 shares on Pinterest this month:

I broke up with the gym. We were just not working out.

41 shares on Threads this month:

Problematic bed time gap relationship.

61 shares on Snapchat this month:

Best time to reach me is when I’m at work. Don’t bother me when I’m at home.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

Woke up feeling not too shabby for a 60-year-old. The only problem is I’m still in my 40s.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

My rapper name would be 2 stressd.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

It’s okay to love your job. Just know it doesn’t love you back.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

Sarah Connor would be awfully disappointed in us all, letting this Grok into our lives.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

You got beef with me, but none in your fridge. That’s why you’re mad. You’re hungry.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

People will name their dog Steve and have two kids named Buddy and Rocket.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

I have some cake and now I’m eating it too. Not seeing the problem here.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

If you steal enough FitBits, they’ll just give you one for your ankle.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

Just had a fight with every item in my closet. They started it.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

iPhone: I’m gonna update your software tonight while you sleep. Next morning, iPhone: I couldn’t do it, bro. Just didn’t feel right. Vibe was off.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Slack:

Still hard to believe that access to infinite information made us dumber.

Live now on Reddit:

Every gift guide for men is like “A flannel flask to hold your knife flavored whiskey.”

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Every time I watch “The Godfather”, I notice some new detail (they’re Italian???).

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I feel like this holiday season, it’s important to remind people of the true meaning of Christmas: ghosts terrorizing rich people in the middle of the night until they agree to pay their employees more.

Broadcasted on Slack:

I would love to be normal, but unfortunately, I was raised by the internet and a microwave.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Unfortunately, the movie you want to watch is unavailable on your 13 streaming services. You can rent it for $2.99 though.

Just landed via WeChat:

Hug your children as often as you can. They can’t break things during this time.

Breaking via Threads:

I hate it when I imagine how a conversation will go and then in the actual conversation the person goes off script. That’s not your line, man.

Spotted on Facebook:

Life is just a sequence of missed opportunities.

Making waves on WeChat:

During winter, it’s either lazy starvation or eight thousand calories in one sitting.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

So far, every Miss Universe winner has been from Earth.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I’m fighting for free speech. Mine, not yours, so be quiet.

One thing that sucks about being grown-up is not being able to say, “My mom said no,” when you don’t want someone to come over.

Kids today have it much easier. When I was growing up and something bad happened, we had to go outside and spread our misinformation in person.

When a man likes you, he talks to you every day, and apparently, when you start to like him back, he is very busy and can’t talk at all. That’s how it works.

Don’t forget to brush your teeth, comb your hair, cleanse your face, and share my posts.

You can mess up big time letting someone know you have a printer.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨