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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

America’s national anthem should be changed to Welcome to the Jungle.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

The only reason to engage with a neighbor is if either of you is on fire.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

“It is what it is,” I say, not really knowing what it actually is.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

My teen being nice to me is getting really expensive.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

Like shark attacks on humans, it’s actually extremely rare. The majority of antique, porcelain headed dolls aren’t interested in murdering people.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

I’m an atheist, so if you send prayers, I’ll send thoughts.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

A beautiful woman should never have to send an email. Yet, such tragedies occur every day.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

This is actually worse than Biff Tennan’s future.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

“Grey’s Anatomy” but it’s told entirely through the lens of the hospital’s HR department.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

The hottest thing a man can do is exactly what he said he was going to.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Jan 2, 2026

3,496

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Threads:

Playdates were invented to force parents into cleaning their home.

Trending via Twitch:

Nothing is worse than seeing a gorgeous girl that I’d never approach or stand a chance with and then finding out she has a boyfriend.

Seen just now on Discord:

People in their 20s be like, “This is my emotional support master’s degree.”

Going viral on Instagram:

For my next trick, I’ll watch a two-hour movie in four.

Spotted on Slack:

Forget being the bigger person, I’m going to just start barking at people.

Seen just now on X:

If we’ve got the technology to make heated car seats, then where the hell are the seats that automatically cool down in the summer? Make it happen, nerds.

Going viral on Slack:

Life’s too short to remove the USB drive safely.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

If you did the weekend right, your coffee needs coffee today.

Just landed via Reddit:

It’s all fun and games until you send the clapping emoji instead of the prayer hands when commenting on the news of a death in the family.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Training a cat is very easy. After a few days, you do what she wants.

So, if I take out a reverse mortgage on my house does that mean I’ll own a bank after 30 years?

2 months ago

0

So, if I take out a reverse mortgage on my house does that mean I’ll own a bank after 30 years?

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Absolutely! 🤣 Well, technically you might not end up owning a bank, but hey, you could definitely be the designated neighborhood mortgage guru! 💸💼 Just imagine, hosting reverse mortgage seminars from your own living room in a house that's practically a bank vault! 🏦💰 Who knew homeownership could come with a side hustle! 😂 #MortgageMastermind

30, bank, estate, finance, house, humor, i, joke, mean, mortgage, own, ownership, real, real estate, reverse, take

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Turning regret into ulcers since the day I was born.

0

2 months ago

anxiety, birth, born, day, health, humor, i, life, regret, turning, ulcers
My milkshakes bring all the bots to the yard.

0

2 months ago

attraction, bot, bring, culture, drink, humor, milkshake, pop, pop culture, reference, yard
I have an addiction to pattern recognition.

0

6 months ago

addiction, humor, i, pattern, recognition
The difference between a songbird and a hummingbird is that one of them knows the lyrics.

0

2 months ago

difference, hummingbird, humor, knows, lyrics, music, songbird
It scares me when you stay up late, like 3 a.m., and you hear a car go down the road, like, where are you going?

0

1 month ago

3, 3 a.m., a.m., am, car, fear, going, hear, late, late night, me, night, night sound, road, sound, stay, staying, staying up late, where
Smoking will kill you. Bacon will kill you. Ironically, smoking bacon will cure it.

0

2 months ago

bacon, cure, food, health, humor, irony, kill, smoking

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

93 shares on LinkedIn this month:

How silly of me to forget that I am the love of my life.

43 shares on Threads this month:

I lost my appetite for doing work. If you find it, you can keep it.

86 shares on Telegram this month:

If you’re happy and you know it, you’re clearly not paying enough attention.

74 shares on Pinterest this month:

On the surface: cool as a cucumber. On the inside: squirrel in traffic.

11 shares on Facebook this month:

Stop bringing shitty Bluetooth speakers on hikes. No one came to the woods to hear you listen to Katy Perry.

89 shares on Slack this month:

Men have feelings too! Hunger, for example. Or thirst.

16 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The days will soon be shorter again. Then it won’t rain for so long.

77 shares on Messenger this month:

Wanna know a real adult life hack? Don’t tell anyone when you have a day off. Absolutely no one.

34 shares on Telegram this month:

Accidentally used my real personality at work today… heading to HR now.

54 shares on Threads this month:

Halloween is the only day you can ghost someone and blame it on being festive.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

These quiet electric cars are really annoying. I have to stop scrolling and look up while walking outside now.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Why is 4-8 p.m. on a Sunday the most depressing time ever?

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I followed my heart, and it led me to the fridge.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Juggling screen time is the ultimate multitasking Olympics.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I had to quit my job because people kept falling in love with me there.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Raisins also have wrinkles and are still sweet.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Libraries were a good start, but we need more places where people can’t talk.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

If you sweat while you eat, it should count as a workout.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Work for a living? In this economy?

7 folks are currently checking 👀

When you think about it, Jesus really accomplished a lot in the four months between Christmas and Easter.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,674

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

If you step on the back of my shoe and it comes off, I will do the same thing to your head.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

If someone wants to spend time with you, they’ll let you know. Get rid of those people.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

My yoga instructor was drunk today. Put me in a very awkward position.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

Them: You post a lot. What am I supposed to do here – fold laundry on the timeline?

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

Called in, “Let’s make this simple. What excuse haven’t I used yet?”

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

I’m a Leo so I just eat the other astrological signs.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

I can resist everything except temptation.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

No we can’t hangout, you’ll end up falling in love with me and I don’t have time for that.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

Some people shop for designer heels. I shop for nonstop flight deals.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

People will say stuff like “Well, at least if WWIII happens, I won’t have to go to work…” I think in your heart you know that’s not true.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I’m pretty sure by now that we’re some kind of satire channel on some other planet.

Live now on Discord:

Everyone tells me “take care”, but no one tells me why.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Female friendship is all about taking turns being insane. First, one of you is crazy, and the other has to counterbalance by being normal. Then, thirty minutes later, you get to trade.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Sorry, can you repeat what you said? I didn’t have my glasses on.

Shared recently on X:

That strange moment when you are trying to be serious, but then you accidentally smile.

Breaking via Snapchat:

Oh, gross. I didn’t know there was protein in this powder. I was only drinking it for the lead.

Spotted on Discord:

My dog pisses on every election sign regardless of political party so I have no idea who he is voting for.

Going viral on X:

Not gonna lie, to this day, I don’t know the difference between gray and grey, I just wing it.

Making waves on Facebook:

You’re a “haha” girl, and I’m an “lol” guy. It just wouldn’t work.

Just shared via YouTube:

The only hot singles in my area are in my wallet.

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