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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

Beware. There are people in the grocery store that you know who want to chat with you. Stay vigilant.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

Stomach: I will now demonstrate a blue whale’s mating call.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

Computer dating is fine, if you’re a computer.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

Your honor, if it pleases the court, here’s Wonderwall.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

Spoiler alert: Monday doesn’t care about your feelings.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

My mood is currently on “shuffle”.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

The perfect job for me would be the person staining things for detergent commercials.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

Remember: The first step to recovery is addiction.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

I relate to a rooster because I also want start off my day by screaming.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

I grew up in a poor family. We didn’t have much, but we had each other. And that was the worst part.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2077 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,239

Funny Quotes Topics

14,982

Funny Quotes Images

12,239

9 seconds ago

3,451

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Nothing flies faster than the ketchup out of the bottle when you only want a little.

Making waves on Twitch:

My body is like my phone battery. Usually drained by 4pm.

Trending via Pinterest:

The downside of common sense is, having to deal with those that lack it.

Shared recently on X:

My morning coffee makes me feel like I’ve got my shit together. I don’t, but it makes me feel like I do.

Going viral on Slack:

Apparently the term for migraine-sufferer is ‘migraneur.’ Nice getting recognition as a kind of artisan of suffering.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Someone at work just farted and I panicked and said ‘compliments to the chef’.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Imagine falling in love with me then finding out I’m a slow walker.

Seen just now on Slack:

Just paid my bills, so don’t ask me to come out. I’m at home getting my money’s worth.

Breaking via Telegram:

Mood to play music louder than my thoughts.

Just landed via Threads:

“Santa isn’t real!” Okay, I literally just saw him at the mall.

So, if I take out a reverse mortgage on my house does that mean I’ll own a bank after 30 years?

6 months ago

So, if I take out a reverse mortgage on my house does that mean I’ll own a bank after 30 years?

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Absolutely! 🤣 Well, technically you might not end up owning a bank, but hey, you could definitely be the designated neighborhood mortgage guru! 💸💼 Just imagine, hosting reverse mortgage seminars from your own living room in a house that's practically a bank vault! 🏦💰 Who knew homeownership could come with a side hustle! 😂 #MortgageMastermind

30, bank, estate, finance, house, humor, i, joke, mean, mortgage, own, ownership, real, real estate, reverse, take

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2077 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,239

Funny Quotes Topics

14,982

Funny Quotes Images

12,239

9 seconds ago

3,439

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

I can usually cope with the opinions of others because I don’t listen.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

You can be anything when you grow up. For instance, I am very tired.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

If there is a God and He “loves” us, then explain snakes.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

What does my tattoo mean? It means I couldn’t be trusted with $200 when I was 18.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

Why does it take 5-7 days to refund me when it took 5-7 seconds to take it out?

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

Gwyneth Paltrow, I received the message you sent me last night in my dream and will proceed with the plan.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

“Can my boyfriend come?” Will he contribute to our conversation, at least one question?

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

It’s so hot the chipmunks are using my bird bath as a hot tub and requesting mimosas and the brunch menu.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

I’m not procrastinating. I’m protecting my peace through active avoidance.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

Lie about the gap in your resume. Tell them you had to help some Hobbits take a ring to Mordor or something.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Reddit:

Don’t rub your happiness in people’s faces this Valentine’s Day. Let the couples enjoy themselves for once.

Trending via Slack:

Tornados are just a bunch of ghosts fighting over a cow.

Shared recently on Threads:

The man who invented autocorrect walks into a barn. He orders a bear.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I keep pressing the space bar, but I’m still on Earth.

Shared recently on Facebook:

If stress burned calories, I’d be a supermodel by now.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

“Who does she think she is?” Well, it appears she is someone living her life unconcerned with who you think she is.

Trending via Reddit:

No one buys my theory that red fire hydrants are filled with ketchup and yellow fire hydrants are filled with mustard.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Having to choose between an old guy or a convicted felon is a perfect depiction of what dating apps are Iike.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

There should be an Olympics where athletes can take as many drugs as they want. Like, to hell with y’all, let’s see how high humans can really jump.

Spotted on Threads:

Not to be a nerd, but a well-placed semicolon is hot as hell.

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