Trendy Funny Quotes

  • I don’t need a psychic to tell me which planets make me sad. It’s earth.
  • I tiptoe near my medicine cabinet because I don’t want to wake my sleeping pills.
  • Sometimes I wonder what happened to the people who asked me for directions.
  • I’m at the age where drinking a cup of coffee now makes me feel like Popeye scarfing down a can of spinach.
  • Maybe I’ll quit so I can focus on summer.
  • If a beer is 8 bucks, it’s a show. If a beer is 14 bucks, it’s a concert.