Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

April Fool’s next week and still no one has asked me to be their fool.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

People say opposites attract, but I say find a partner who’s deranged in the same ways you are and double your capacity to be annoying.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

I stay up late every night, regret it in the morning, and the next day I do it all over again.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

More often than not, I read applause as applesauce.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

Growing up, I didn’t think the expensive addiction that would ruin me would be Heinz ketchup, but here we are.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

The one thing to know about me is I always get the last laugh. And oh yes, it’s maniacal.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

The thing about being 50+ is that whenever an opportunity to pee is available – you’re wise to take it.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

I’m going to get more sleep tonight” is always the first lie I tell myself in the morning.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

Do you think working at Pizza Hut would help you get a job at Sunglass Hut? You know, with all that hut experience?

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

I intend to live forever. So far, so good.