Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

Make sure you bury me near a bathroom because death is long, and I’m sure I’ll still have to get up and pee.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

I’ve just filed a restraining order against reality.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

Lego better be trying to cure child cancer with how much their shit cost.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

My mom be cutting up fruit and bringing it to me in my room without saying nothing. That’s when it hits me, nobody ever gonna love me this much.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

Roadtripping with my family has taught me that my marriage can withstand anything except roadtripping with my family.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

Called off work. Feeling fat and wearing jeans.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

Time needs a speed limit.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

Wanna worship each other until the end of all things?

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

There are more bots on here than in Star Wars.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

Unfortunately, I do enjoy watching the downfall of people who did me wrong.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,537

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Threads:

Terrible things can happen if you go camping. For starters, you could want to go camping again.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Amazon cart: Order now and it will arrive today. Amazon confirmation email: LOL, just kidding, it’ll be a week from tomorrow.

Going viral on X:

The best thing about work is the coffee machine and the drive home.

Shared recently on Reddit:

People say 70-80 year olds are unemployable because of mental decline, yet somehow they’re running all the countries.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

As a student, the most comforting words you’ll ever hear are “I haven’t started either.”

Just landed via YouTube:

Hearing my voice in recording makes me wanna apologize to every person I talked to.

Just landed via Threads:

Science can’t explain it, but some hairs can grow up to a quarter inch overnight. Never in a good spot though.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Getting a wax is wild, like you really just be bust open talking to the lady like it’s nothing.

Breaking via Reddit:

Serious replies to silly posts are now illegal. Go talk to your wife.

Just landed via Discord:

Playing Mortal Kombat at an arcade in the 90’s would fix me.

Somebody should market a beer called “Occasionally”. So when asked, I can say, “I only drink occasionally”.

3 weeks ago

Clever humorous text about drinking occasionally for a witty beer marketing idea.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, what a brilliant marketing idea! 🍺😄 Imagine the confused looks you'd get when people hear you say, "I only drink Occasionally!" They won't know whether to take you seriously or join in on the joke! Cheers to occasional indulgence! 🍻

alcohol, beer, drink, humor, i, marketing, occasionally, say, should, somebody, witty, wordplay

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

25 shares on Slack this month:

I speak my mind, cause it hurts when I bite my tongue.

94 shares on Instagram this month:

Maybe one day a street will be named after me. Or a school. Or a mental hospital.

31 shares on WhatsApp this month:

“Lmao” has survived and even thrived over the years, but its cousin “rofl” has faded into indignity. The cruelty of fate.

60 shares on Telegram this month:

I don’t think human beings were built to know everything going on in the world all the time.

44 shares on Messenger this month:

Yes, I’m full of microplastics, but it’s actually been helpful. It’s given me superpowers. I can communicate with Tupperware.

22 shares on Facebook this month:

Nothing says, “I love you,” like an echo chamber.

55 shares on Pinterest this month:

I wanna stand with you on a mountain and throw you into the sea, or whatever Savage Garden was on about.

63 shares on Instagram this month:

Rock bottom ain’t even that bad of a place to be if you’re into collecting rocks.

33 shares on X this month:

I talk to my dog like she’s human and, like most humans, she looks at me like I’m an idiot.

78 shares on Twitch this month:

My handwriting makes a pharmacist look like a calligrapher.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m sorry, I didn’t realize how quiet your bathroom exhaust fan was.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

A perfect parent is a person with excellent child-rearing theories and no actual children.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m currently trying not to read anything about carbohydrates after 4pm.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Be useless, so nobody can use you.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

A cheat code to adulting is to always have something to look forward to, no matter how small or big.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve got a neighbor who’s really into morons. I should introduce her to you guys.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Trying to carry a pet to bed is like moving a dense liquid that’s annoyed by you.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not making any resolutions. I think it’s time for the years to be better, not me.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Congrats on hitting your Q3 numbers. Here’s an even bigger Q4 number that you’ll be fired for missing.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I was gonna get on the treadmill, but then the couch will get sad.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,449

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

For all those wondering, yes, I am retired. I was tired yesterday, and I am tired again today.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

I feel like Mario has more raw prowess, but Luigi is probably the more sensual lover.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

We’re limited only by our imagination and some federal agencies.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

Twitter is my serious account, the funny one is my bank account.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

I always cook with wine. Sometimes I even add it to the food.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

People will think you know what you’re talking about if you give your opinion while cleaning a pair of reading glasses.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

If you want to know who the bad guys are, it is the side who wants you arrested for memes and jokes.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

“I don’t care!”, he posted, again.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

Forced to say “it’s okay” instead of throwing a chair at them.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

According to a recent study, women who are a little overweight live longer than men who mention it.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Discord:

The perfect job for me would be the person staining things for detergent commercials.

Shared recently on TikTok:

While the optimist and pessimist argued about the glass of water, the opportunist drank it.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Well, well, well, if it isn’t the holiday traffic I said I’d avoid even though I did nothing to avoid it.

Spotted on Slack:

Starting a new life today, bye.

Seen just now on Discord:

Girlfriend is temporary, ex-girlfriend is forever.

Going viral on WeChat:

If you want to know who the bad guys are, it is the side who wants you arrested for memes and jokes.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Teens don’t know how good they have it with lyrics sites. We used to have to sing shit wrong for years until the truth destroyed us.

Making waves on Telegram:

They should invent crushes that like you back.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Every time we try to eat healthy, along comes Christmas, Easter, summer, Friday, or Tuesday, and ruins it for us.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Most of my exercise comes from getting up to let the cat in and out.

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