Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

Friendly reminder that someone having a different opinion about a movie than you is a direct attack on you as a person and you should take it very personally.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

Taking my heart off my sleeve, I fold it up neatly and carefully place it back inside my chest.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

If I were in charge of Nike, I’d change the slogan to “Just Say You Did It. Nobody Ever Checks.”

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

The holidays may be over by my work ethic is still out of the office.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

I went from dancing with myself in the 80s to talking to myself now.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

Being single past 30 is like playing hide and seek, except no one is looking for you.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

In 2007, if you wore a long-sleeve T-shirt under a regular T-shirt, it meant that you liked music.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

My kids wanted a spooky story from the olden days so I told them the internet used to scream when you turned it on.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

150 years ago, you could just fake your death and go overseas and live a completely different life if you didn’t like the way the cards were originally dealt.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

Sorry I can’t come today. My sister’s friend’s mother’s grandpa’s brother’s grandson’s uncle’s fish died, and it was tragic.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Jan 20, 2026

3,725

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on LinkedIn:

The only thing I gained so far this year is weight.

Going viral on TikTok:

The more I practice, the luckier I get.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Never mind a Roomba, I need a robot garbage can that will follow my kids around the house all day.

Live now on Discord:

Sorry I left you on read, I didn’t mean to open it just yet.

Making waves on Reddit:

I know my limits. I don’t always obey them, but I know them.

Breaking via Threads:

Remember that even the worst haircut will eventually grow on you.

Just shared via Instagram:

The trash gets picked up tomorrow. Be ready.

Spotted on Facebook:

Me driving at night: I hope this is the road!

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Life is so draining, you fix one problem, here come 12 more.

Going bananas on Slack:

What career is most compatible with the unemployed lifestyle?

Somebody should market a beer called “Occasionally”. So when asked, I can say, “I only drink occasionally”.

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, what a brilliant marketing idea! 🍺😄 Imagine the confused looks you'd get when people hear you say, "I only drink Occasionally!" They won't know whether to take you seriously or join in on the joke! Cheers to occasional indulgence! 🍻

alcohol, beer, drink, humor, i, marketing, occasionally, say, should, somebody, witty, wordplay

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

29 shares on Snapchat this month:

The only exercise I’ve done this month is running… out of money!

94 shares on TikTok this month:

Wanted to report a YouTube video, but there is no option for “Cringe”, so I just picked “Terrorism”.

95 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Lego better be trying to cure child cancer with how much their shit cost.

88 shares on Pinterest this month:

Shoutout to my kids because they aren’t listening!

89 shares on X this month:

I may be sensitive, but everyone else could be a little kinder, too.

64 shares on Telegram this month:

I don’t mean to say that I drink a lot of coffee, but Colombian farmers have a photo of me in their wallets.

70 shares on Instagram this month:

When I say I like when older men tell me what to do, I am talking about Yoda and his teachings.

94 shares on Reddit this month:

I like when the rain is misty and you get to feel like a grocery store broccoli for a little while.

13 shares on YouTube this month:

I successfully avoided the red-eye flight and got the much milder pink eye flight.

82 shares on Discord this month:

Needing to stretch is so funny. Your body is like “Ughhh, make me longer!”

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

No one trashes your name better than the person who is terrified that you are going to tell people the truth.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

“Oh, I’d love to but I can’t.” Translation: I don’t want to so I won’t.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

The children seemed disappointed when I told them the best part about being an adult is going to bed early.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Hobosexual. A person who dates you with the sole interest of having a place to stay.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t tell me that everything was better in the past. I was there.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Petition to add fitted sheet folding to the olympics.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

The purpose of life is to go insane sooner or later.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

You ever meet an all-male friend group that is less a group of friends than it is “one guy and his henchmen”?

11 folks are currently checking 👀

The cashier said, “Have a good day,” but she doesn’t mean it.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Quality women really do attract everyone. A bright light always attracts all types of bugs.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,662

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

Every time I think I’m cooked, God moves mountains for me. That’s so nice of Him.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

Talents: eating!

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

I’m an adult, that’s why I can have Skittles for dinner.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

Can’t. I’m busy taking this Buzzfeed quiz to find out what kind of potato I am.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

Only thing I hate more than a liar is a liar that thinks I’m stupid.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

The sexual tension between me and vanishing without context is insane.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

Some people pack their lives so full of activities, appointments and people that I get exhausted just reading about it.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

If you think swimming with dolphins is expensive, you should try swimming with sharks. It cost me an arm and a leg!

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

Two sheep walk into a baaaaa.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

I hate when I’m typing away, expecting autocorrect to have my back, and I look down and just see awjdbdmkskan.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Messenger:

“Would you like to check your account balance?” God no. My balance is none of my business.

Making waves on X:

“Too much garlic”? What’s next? Too much love? Too much desire?

Spotted on Telegram:

I firmly believe that at this point my guardian angel is just eating popcorn and watching the drama.

Trending via Discord:

Imagine earning a science degree then having to be a meteorologist who announces the prophecy of a groundhog.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

My dating checklist is down to “not the Unabomber”.

Just landed via Messenger:

I miss making out in public and making people feel uncomfortable.

Seen just now on Telegram:

If you’re late for work, don’t forget to look mad when you walk in.

Going viral on TikTok:

Ok, I cheated in school, but I did it the hard way and without AI.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

What’s said in the blanket fort, stays in the blanket fort.

Just shared via Discord:

You’ll never realize how crazy you really are until you fall in love.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴