Squirrels get most of their energy from chewing on powerlines, that acorn thing is just for show.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

Life is not a fairy tale. If you lose your shoe at midnight, you’re drunk.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

Do you ever look into your cats eyes and realize that a person is inside there?

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

You think you’re raising your kids right, and then one of them decides to be a fan of your football team’s arch rival.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

Therapy is basically me saying, “I did a thing,” and my therapist saying, “Yay, good job!”

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

A person becomes 10 times more attractive not by their looks but by photoshop.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

If I don’t duck my head when I drive into the parking garage, what’s gonna keep my car from hitting the ceiling?

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

Grape soda doesn’t taste at all like grapes, but it does taste like purple, and I don’t know how to explain that.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here pumping gas until the dollar amount ends with 0.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

White, black, yellow, brown, Democrat, Republican, man, woman, straight, gay, transgender, Jew, Christian, Muslim, young and old — you will all taste the same to the zombies.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

Don’t let anyone treat you like pond water. You are Fiji water, okay?