Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

Today, I started a 28-day no-swearing challenge, which I will restart tomorrow.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

A political guy who supports communism because he hates applying for jobs and just wants to be assigned somewhere.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

The way I forget stuff at my age, I just know it is over for me after 50.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

Can I be speaker? I’m pretty good at saying a lot without saying anything at all.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

Anyone else’s phone make a retching noise when you unlock it with Face ID?

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

According to a study, people believe anything that starts with ‘according to a study’.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

In America we have marijuana. In France they have oui’d.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

It’s crazy how drinking poison makes you feel like shit the next day.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

“Well, this is no good. How do I turn it off?” – The first primate to experience consciousness.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

Hey girl, are you a burger? Because I love you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,488

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Do you know how much effort goes into looking this regular?

Freshly posted on Instagram:

USPS tracking: Step 1: We don’t think it exists. Step 2: Delivered.

Making waves on YouTube:

I really think tossing and turning at night should be counted as exercise.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Little do my friends know they’re healing me every time we hang out.

Spotted on TikTok:

Oh, I’m so excited to wear Uggs, beanies, and oversized sweaters. I can feel fall creeping up.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Alcohol: When you want to run away from your problems without moving.

Making waves on YouTube:

You’re way hotter in your forties and fifties than in your twenties. The glow up is in the grow up.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

“I asked ChatGPT.” “I asked Grok.” I asked God to strike me dead with lightning.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Not arguing with people anymore, I’m just gonna say “it makes sense that you would think that”.

Trending via Threads:

Breaking news is really breaking me.

Starting to think I’m single because of everyone else’s shortcomings.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Maybe I'm just too tall for everyone else's shortcomings! 🤣📏 #ElevatedStandards"

dating, everyone, humor, relationships, self-awareness, shortcomings, single, think

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

We need a true crime show called Downtown Stabby.

0

2 months ago

comedy, crime, downtown, Downtown Stabby, humor, need, satire, show, stabby, television, true, true crime
Adulting is realizing you can’t skip work like you skipped class.

0

5 months ago

adulting, class, humor, lesson, life, life lesson, responsibility, skip, work
I wonder if people who spend all their time screaming on the internet know there are way more fun things to do.

0

3 months ago

activity, fun, i, internet, know, people, scream, screaming, spend, things, time, wonder
It’s too late. I sat down on the couch after work. Go on without me.

0

6 months ago

after, couch, humor, i, late, laziness, me, procrastination, relaxation, sat, tired, too, work
“Nah.” – everyone with an office job, from the Monday after Thanksgiving until January 2nd.

0

1 month ago

2nd, after, attitude, blues, everyone, holiday, holiday season, January, January 2nd, job, Monday, office, office job, post-holiday, post-holiday blues, procrastination, season, Thanksgiving, work, work attitude
Accidentally said “normal” when they asked what milk I wanted at the leftist cafe.

0

1 month ago

accident, accidentally, asked, cafe, humor, i, interaction, leftist, milk, normal, said, social, social interaction, speech, wanted

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

66 shares on Snapchat this month:

I woke up this morning and my hair looked like a Beatles lyric. Here, there, and everywhere.

20 shares on X this month:

Ever been in the car with someone who drives so fast that you press your imaginary brakes on the passenger side?

63 shares on WeChat this month:

With all the fake information out there, I refuse to believe scales or mirrors.

59 shares on Reddit this month:

Onesies are amazing till you have to really pee in the middle of the night then you question all your life’s decisions.

29 shares on Slack this month:

For Christmas, I’d like to figure it all out.

85 shares on Messenger this month:

Deja poo is when you feel like you’ve heard the same shit before.

81 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Some people peak in high school. I peaked when I realized I never had to see them again.

57 shares on TikTok this month:

Your boos don’t mean anything to me. I’ve seen what you people cheer for!

48 shares on Reddit this month:

I wish I could Shazam a perfume.

91 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My lawyer dropped his briefcase and nunchuks fell out.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

Told a couple of jokes at a Zoom meeting. Turns out I’m not even remotely funny.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

Your Starbucks order leads me to believe that you’re very difficult to deal with.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

If you get drunk and message your ex, don’t worry. When you wake up, send bitcoin ads and pretend you were hacked.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

At first I’m shy, then I’m a podcast.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

Your pronouns should be get/help.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

I’m writing a book on the joys of drinking beer. So far I’ve been through a lot of drafts.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

Ladies, repeat after me: “I was wrong and I am sorry!”

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

Caught the bouquet at the funeral.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

Thinking about quitting my job to focus on my girlfriend.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

So single the neighborhood cats make ME dinner.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Telegram:

Ouija boards are like unannounced phone calls for ghosts.

Trending via WeChat:

True friends don’t judge each other, they judge other people… together.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

They invented the word metallic, because irony was already taken.

Just landed via Messenger:

I’m not “late”, I’m just very creative with my interpretation of “time”.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I can now tell the hour of the day by which part of my body needs a heating pad.

Broadcasted on X:

It’s not too early to go to sleep. Too early only applies to waking up.

Shared recently on Discord:

Fun fact: The US was originally not meant to be a reality TV show.

Just shared via Instagram:

Standing on a scale and thinking: so much wisdom and inner beauty can’t be light.

Just shared via Threads:

But what if I don’t want someone that’s good for me?

Shared recently on Facebook:

I heard you like bad girls. Well, I’m bad. At everything.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Starting to think I’m single because of everyone else’s shortcomings.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

We need a true crime show called Downtown Stabby.

Adulting is realizing you can’t skip work like you skipped class.

I wonder if people who spend all their time screaming on the internet know there are way more fun things to do.

It’s too late. I sat down on the couch after work. Go on without me.

“Nah.” – everyone with an office job, from the Monday after Thanksgiving until January 2nd.

Accidentally said “normal” when they asked what milk I wanted at the leftist cafe.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨