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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

Yes, I sometimes put my cell phone down. Especially when it rings.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

After I get irritated, it takes me about 2 hours to fix my face.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

They charge you for the groceries and then they charge you for the toilet paper when you turn the groceries into poop. Open your eyes!

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

The billionaires have decided that the people with nothing have too much.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

Don’t forget to make everything about you today.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

If anyone has any experience with anything or knows anything about something, please let me know.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

“Stop recording everything and just enjoy the moment” is asking me for videos from last night.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,897

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Slack:

Camping: When you spend a small fortune to live like somebody poor.

Breaking via Telegram:

Will mosquitoes ever develop a pizza obsession and end their pursuit of human blood?

Making waves on Instagram:

If I was a priest, I’d make my side of the confession booth really big so I could run around.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Is stir-fry the only dish where the instructions are in the name?

Making waves on Pinterest:

Shoutout to everyone who remembers their childhood landline number but can’t recall the password they made yesterday. You’re my people.

Going viral on Telegram:

Blink if you want me!

Live now on Twitch:

When I dance, people say it reminds them of a wild dog chasing its tail.

Stupidity begins where irony is no longer understood.

Stupidity begins where irony is no longer understood.
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Commentary:
Oh, the irony! 🤦‍♂️ If only stupidity had a clue, it might not have gotten lost in the land where sarcasm goes to die! 🤔😆

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

4,065

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

The way men eat when they’re single is nothing short of dehumanizing.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

Flirting is easy until you have to flirt with the person you like.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

What’s it called when you mentally want to be horny but you’re physically not at all?

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

If someone drunk texts you, appreciate it. They’ve thought of you when they can barely think straight.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

8 pm to 10 pm on a weeknight is the shortest that two hours can possibly be.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

Not to brag but there are so many movies out there that have watched me sleep.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

“Work smarter, not harder.” Brother, I’m not doing either of those things.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Discord:

Hundreds, nay, thousands of movies about falling in love but only one movie about a beach that makes you old.

Trending via TikTok:

Lady just asked me what “mansplaining” is. I think it’s a trap. We’ve been staring at each other in silence for half an hour.

Just shared via WeChat:

You ever go to a baseball game and hear a guy yelling, “hot dogs! hot dogs!” over and over again? That’s me, looking for hot dogs.

Trending via Facebook:

If you’re too open-minded, your brains will fall out.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Thank you two-step authentication codes that expire after 60 seconds for providing Mission Impossible-type drama into my mundane suburban existence.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

The nice thing about wintertime is that it’s darker for longer, so you see a lot less people.

Going viral on Slack:

If your name is “Guy”, you have lazy parents.

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