Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

I already want to take a nap tomorrow.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

I just cleaned the house top to bottom, so now I’m gonna need everybody to stop living here.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

I miss having that butterfly feeling. People give me roach vibes at this point.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

Attempted to exercise this morning. Didn’t work out.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

If robbers ever broke into my house and searched for money, I’d just laugh and search with them.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

Life is giving me no lemons. It’s throwing watermelons.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

There should be a withering shamrock emoji so that people can express misfortune or Irish grief.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

Unfortunately, a great many problems in life can be solved by just being hotter.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

Look at you with tape over your camera, while Amazon, Facebook, and Google have your whole life on file.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,398

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Telegram:

“Why would I lie to you?” I don’t know, maybe because you’re a liar.

Trending via Threads:

All these years on the internet we have been working for artificial intelligence.

Just landed via Twitch:

Shutting up is gluten-free. Maybe add that to your diet, princess.

Trending via Reddit:

My security system is just a bunch of my unpaid bills taped to my front door.

Just shared via Reddit:

It’s never too early to be sad about having to work the next day.

Going viral on Facebook:

The pumpkin was invented in 1942 when a watermelon put on a pair of corduroys.

Shared recently on X:

Other people: You should get out of your comfort zone. Me: You should get out of my comfort zone.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I don’t approve of political jokes. I’ve seen what happens when they get elected.

Spotted on Reddit:

With age comes wisdom. And digestive trouble.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I put my pants on like everyone else. With hope they still fit.

Stupidity begins where irony is no longer understood.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oh, the irony! 🤦‍♂️ If only stupidity had a clue, it might not have gotten lost in the land where sarcasm goes to die! 🤔😆

humor, intelligence, irony, perspective, stupidity, understanding, where, wit

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

You wear a white shirt and all of a sudden everybody wants to go eat spaghetti.

0

2 months ago

attention, date, dining, eat, fashion, food, humor, mess, shirt, spaghetti, wants, wear, white
My hobbies include using the TV as background noise while I scroll on my phone.

0

2 months ago

background, background noise, entertainment, hobby, humor, i, multitasking, noise, phone, scroll, scrolling, TV, using, while
Here’s to a new year of making the same old mistakes, but with far more enthusiasm.

0

2 months ago

enthusiasm, fun, humor, making, mistakes, new, new year, old, optimism, Resolutions, same, self-improvement, year
I have to work because the baby is expensive. (I’m the baby.)

0

1 month ago

adulting, baby, expense, expensive, humor, i, money, responsibility, self-deprecating, work
Okay, this integrity isn’t going to compromise itself.

0

2 months ago

compromise, going, humor, integrity, irony, okay, self, wit
They are all liars, so just pick the tallest and enjoy.

0

2 months ago

advice, choice, dating, enjoy, humor, just, liar, pick, tallest

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

39 shares on Threads this month:

Do you ever feel like you’re a white shirt and life is a red wine?

53 shares on WeChat this month:

Cute how I complain that my kids are spoiled when I’m the one who spoils them.

51 shares on Reddit this month:

My ex texted me saying, “Hey, I miss you,” so I replied, “Sorry, I have zero bars — the past doesn’t have good reception.”

40 shares on Pinterest this month:

We all have that one coworker whose sole purpose is to reduce our life expectancy by ten years.

46 shares on Slack this month:

Don’t even bother contacting me on the Ouija Board after I die. I barely answer my texts now.

25 shares on Discord this month:

If your girlfriend doesn’t go a little psycho on you from time to time, then she’s not in love with you, sweetie.

93 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If you get hangovers, it’s because you drank the beers with impure intentions and heavy karmic debt.

12 shares on Threads this month:

Weekends now feel like short commercial breaks in a stressful movie.

90 shares on Facebook this month:

Tired of looking at a bad screen. Can’t wait to get home and look at a good screen.

80 shares on TikTok this month:

Cooking with glasses on is so humiliating. Why did I just get blinded by steam?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

That Coldplay CEO guy was held more accountable than the president.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

There’s an app for the people who say they’re not seeking some form of validation here. It’s called a diary.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

I can’t date until the curse is lifted.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

If the Beatles were just 4 lads from Liverpool, imagine what 400 lads from Liverpool would sound like. But y’all aren’t ready for that conversation.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

Marriage is like a phone call at the night: First there’s the ring, and then you wake up.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

Cafeteria is a beautiful name for a baby girl.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

Need to win the lottery so I can focus on going to museums and working out.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

The only thing faster than an escalator is an escasooner.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

Uber drivers have secret access to a streaming service of exclusively the worst music you’ve ever heard.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

When my wife packs for a trip she basically moves out.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on X:

The cool thing about being a procrastinator is, really bad ideas also don’t ever make it off the ground.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Movie date at my house, but we use pirated sites and spend all night closing pop-ups.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Stupidity begins where irony is no longer understood.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

You wear a white shirt and all of a sudden everybody wants to go eat spaghetti.

My hobbies include using the TV as background noise while I scroll on my phone.

Here’s to a new year of making the same old mistakes, but with far more enthusiasm.

I have to work because the baby is expensive. (I’m the baby.)

Okay, this integrity isn’t going to compromise itself.

They are all liars, so just pick the tallest and enjoy.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨