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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

Me every time I wake up: Oh no, not again!

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

Reminder that you need to be scrolling all day to monitor the situation.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

Normalize bed-rotting in the holidays and not feeling guilty about it for your mental health.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

I literally just went through something, and now I’m going through something else. What’s next?

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

Fries, not lies.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

I’m too lazy to be a superhero. If I had laser eyes, I’d probably just use them to heat soup or something.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

If the zombie apocalypse happens we’re double screwed because there are millions on record as having no brain.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

I want whatever the people who run at 6 a.m. have.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

If I was a little smarter, I’d be aware of how stupid I am.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

I’m really into writing short fiction, mainly to-do lists.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,578

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via X:

My only chance at a big house in the country is if I become a rescue dog.

Just landed via Pinterest:

How late is too late to still be lying in bed, naked, drinking coffee?

Shared recently on Facebook:

Riding a bike is an insane concept. You just sit and run at the same time.

Just shared via Telegram:

Me, having zero balance in my account, viewing houses worth 10 million, and being like, “No, I don’t like the kitchen.”

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Kinda rude that your reward for struggling through stuff is still dying at the end anyway.

Going viral on Telegram:

You’re either snacking with me or snacking against me.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Do not EVER text while driving. Please use the giant iPad attached to your dashboard.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Sunday should be 48 hours instead of 24 hours, I need more time to be ready for Monday.

Going viral on Slack:

Work can be tiring at times, and you might feel like quitting. But remember those plane tickets.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I love routine. Until I’m bored, then I love excitement. Until I’m overwhelmed, then I love routine.

Tested positive for being single af

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Looks like I aced the solo life exam! 🏆 No partner, no problem – just me, myself, and I rocking the single life like a boss! 💁‍♂️ Who needs a +1 when you're already a complete package? 😄 #SingleAF"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

13 shares on Pinterest this month:

Referring to my boss’s wife as my boss-in-law.

80 shares on Instagram this month:

You can’t spell dyslexia without sexy.

78 shares on Messenger this month:

Guy smoking weed daily: “I think smoking weed in moderation is fine.”

32 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Everyday I wait for a vampire to seduce me.

29 shares on WeChat this month:

Your skull is the only thing preventing your brain from floating away, unburdened as it is by any meaningful thought to anchor it.

22 shares on YouTube this month:

Dear Black Friday… We all have big TVs now, put the groceries on sale.

63 shares on LinkedIn this month:

People will name their dog Steve and have two kids named Buddy and Rocket.

34 shares on Reddit this month:

Whoever said it was okay to let your pets sleep in your bed, thanks a lot, now my goldfish is dead.

71 shares on Discord this month:

My life is ruined. I wish to live no more. Never mind, I found the remote.

54 shares on Instagram this month:

I thought my friends in their 60s were making love in the other room but they were just putting on their socks.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m so old that when I take a walk down memory lane, I get lost.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Girl, whatever you’re going through right now, as long as you’re not pregnant, you’re gonna be fine.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Life would be so much easier if the nose of people who lie all the time did actually grow longer like Pinocchio’s.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Tailgating me while I’m going 90 in a 45 is crazy. And those red and blue lights on top of your car look stupid, btw, lol.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Social media is mental suicide.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I really hope my house is haunted and not in need of structural repairs.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Why will Satan torture people in hell for disobeying the same God he disobeyed?

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I become the most financially irresponsible person in the world the second I step into a Japanese stationary store.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

White, black, yellow, brown, Democrat, Republican, man, woman, straight, gay, transgender, Jew, Christian, Muslim, young and old — you will all taste the same to the zombies.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

They should build a separate grocery store for people who have actually purchased food before, know how to push a cart, and possess at least an ounce of spatial awareness.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,401

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

Smart people are like huskies. If you don’t give them an interesting problem, they become an interesting problem.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

I have so much planned today that I was already tired thinking of it yesterday.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

God sends you an only child as a friend to test you.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

Welcome to your 40s: your chin looks lonely, here’s another one.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you a car.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

I am the first person in my bloodline to attempt to become hot, and I can feel my genes fighting me every step of the way.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

I’m so lucky people can’t hear what I’m thinking.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

You know those lines you see painted on parking lots? I know this will come as a shock to some of you, but you’re supposed to park between them.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

I am woman, hear me roar but also meow because I am sensitive.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

That moment when you cut into a seedless watermelon and find out it’s only allegedly seedless.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Slack:

I can’t really explain it but cereal at night tastes better than cereal in the morning.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I miss when YouTubers would just record for, like, 20 minutes, and upload the whole thing completely unedited.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I bet this email finds you silently screaming on the inside.

Seen just now on Messenger:

My favorite part about health insurance is how your teeth and eyeballs are add-ons.

Just shared via Facebook:

Sometimes I read a text and think, “What a psycho.” And then I press send.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

(to the boys in the yard) I hope you brought your own milkshake.

Going viral on Telegram:

The only thing stopping cheesecake from being a breakfast food is you.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I’m never wrong. Just different levels of right.

Just shared via WeChat:

I got fired for telling customers if they wanted “smoking or non-smoking”. Apparently, the correct term in the funeral home business is “cremation or burial”.

Seen just now on Instagram:

My keyboard must be broken, I keep hitting the escape key, but I’m still at work.

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