That gap in my resume is from when I was lost at sea.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

November is for turtlenecks and depression.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

Penguins are just ducks going to a wedding.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

You’re not going to believe this, but I was doing really well, and then your email found me.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

Dear phone, if you didn’t light up so many times to tell me you had a low battery, you wouldn’t have died so quickly!

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

I figured out how they built the pyramids. No internet.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

My acting reel includes clips of me “listening” during Zoom meetings.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

I followed a diet but it didn’t follow me back, so I unfollowed it.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

Sexting is hilarious, when you think about it. Like, this email truly should’ve been a meeting.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

Will someone please make me drink some water and limit my screen time?

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

I’m glad it’s not snowing. I can’t imagine shoveling snow in this heat.