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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

When I was a kid, we still ate noodles. Then at some point we ate pasta. Today, we only eat carbs.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

Zombies started running in movies and life has been chaotic since.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

The universe consists of 5% protons, 5% neutrons, 5% electrons, and 85% morons.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

It’s lowkey nothing else to do except become a better version of yourself, lol.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

The theory that two stacked beds can’t be converted into two regular beds has been debunked.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

The 5 seconds in the morning, when I don’t yet know who I am, is the best time of the day.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

The book characters may be fictional, but my emotional instability over them is real.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

If sex was strictly meant for procreation, why did God make it feel so good?

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

You can’t fix stupid, but you can watch it in action on social media every day.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

(guy who’s not even that into you) I love you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

241 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,510

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,510

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,288

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Pinterest:

What’s a positive thought for beginners? I’ve been getting into optimism lately.

Going viral on Messenger:

I wish pets lived longer, and life wasn’t so expensive, and cake didn’t make you fat, and people weren’t twats.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I don’t freak out until I see the Buddhists freaking out.

Just shared via Twitch:

Not being able to teleport is a huge inconvenience for me.

Breaking via Reddit:

If she wants the moon, you get her the moon.

Just landed via Discord:

Not trying to brag but I just beat the high score on this blood pressure machine.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

When I say I love the ocean, I mean I love the surface. Whatever goes on beneath has my respect, but it’s none of my business.

Seen just now on Threads:

Gutted to report that spending a day offline, touching grass with my friends, was phenomenal for my mental health.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Why the hell is it called the restroom? I am fighting for my life in here.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck got engaged, broke up, married other people, had children, reunited, got married, broke up again, and I’ve been single that whole time.

That gap in my resume is from when I was lost at sea.

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That gap in my resume is from when I was lost at sea.
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Commentary:
"Ahoy there! 🌊⚓️ Apparently, getting lost at sea was a rather lengthy detour on the journey of life. 🧭🚣‍♂️ Who needs job experience when you've mastered the art of survival skills and navigating through rough waters? 🤣🌊 #SeasTheDay"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

76 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My bank assures me my money is safe with them, yet they keep their pens chained to desks and most of them are missing.

73 shares on Telegram this month:

Got fired from my job at the zoo because I kept trying to wax the turtles.

28 shares on WeChat this month:

I was not meant to work a job; I was meant to lay down and ponder.

65 shares on Discord this month:

New term for people with jobs: emploids.

14 shares on Instagram this month:

Went outside. Touched grass. Got bit by bugs. Zero stars.

57 shares on Slack this month:

Twitter actually is my diary, so you’re not allowed to get mad at the things I post. You’re not even supposed to be reading this. Why were you going through my stuff?

38 shares on YouTube this month:

Bob is my nickname. Robert is my nicholasname.

64 shares on Pinterest this month:

My save-for-later cart on Amazon is up to about $1.5 million dollars.

30 shares on YouTube this month:

We’re putting that movie you love back in theaters on one random Wednesday — and we’re not gonna tell you until Tuesday.

84 shares on Snapchat this month:

Divorce is so weird. Why do I have an ex-aunt?

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Next time someone says “I’m a hugger” and tries to hug me I’m gonna say “I’m a biter” and see how it goes.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Everyone’s a gangster until they see a rainbow.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

After having a week off, my boss returns to work today. Please respect my privacy during this difficult time.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I thought my friends in their 60s were making love in the other room but they were just putting on their socks.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I hope we’re good friends until we die, then I hope we can stay ghost friends, walk through walls and scare people.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Shout-out to the lifeguard who recommended moving the potato to the front of my Speedo.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Wearing white pants today, so it’s really just a matter of time before I spill something on myself.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

If parallel universe exist, I hope the other me is doing well.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I wouldn’t describe myself as an “adult”, per se. More like a “long child”.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I see WWIII is about to kick off again. I’d best cancel the milk and get the cat in.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

241 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,510

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,510

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,476

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

Reincarnation, in this economy?

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

Being strange is exhausting.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

Yes, I know there is a really special place in hell for me. It’s called a throne.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

If I was the inventor of healing, I would have made it linear, I can tell you that much.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

1pm, the perfect time to start doing the work I woke up early to get a jump on.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

If you give me a serious answer to a silly question, I’m giving you a wedgie.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

Well, at least my cat is supportive of me doing less and laying around more.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

If women came with instructions, men wouldn’t read them anyway.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

I told my computer I needed a break, now it sends me reminders to stretch while I’m lying on the couch.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

I’m stuck between “I need to save money” and “You only live once.”

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Discord:

Before borrowing money from a friend, decide which you need most.

Seen just now on Slack:

Adulthood – a never-ending story of shit you have to do.

Making waves on YouTube:

At the end of my appointment, the doctor took her own blood pressure.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I believe my ex-wife is days away from having a nuclear weapon.

Live now on Messenger:

Satan: “Would you please stop sacrificing animals to me. I’m not running a zoo down here.”

Just shared via YouTube:

I am half agony, half hope.

Going bananas on TikTok:

Can’t think of a single time the MGM lion advanced the plot of the movie in any way. Just needless jump scare.

Live now on WeChat:

WhatsApp calls should indicate whose internet is poor to avoid unnecessary arguments.

Just shared via Telegram:

Nicole Kidman being in a film called Babygirl is actually perfect cause it’s like another version of her last name.

Going viral on WeChat:

Time needs a speed limit.

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