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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

I think I may need professional help. A chef, a butler and a maid should do it!

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

Girls love a gay best friend until he turns 35 and asks to borrow your womb.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

What if i just replied “not now kitten daddy’s busy” to all my work emails?

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

What a bleak life it must be if you’ve never had a drink shoot through your nose when you laugh.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

Don’t flirt with me. I’ll show up at your house and start eating all your snacks.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

No, you tell me what YOU were doing during that gap in my resume.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

How are they running out of oxygen if they’re breathing it right back into the submarine?

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

I had no social life in high school. Even my imaginary best friend had a date for the prom.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

Call a girl beautiful 1000 times and she won’t notice. Call her fat once and she will never forget. That’s because elephants never forget.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

Big fan of calling artists their first name and then the band name as their last name.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

241 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,510

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,510

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,435

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Reddit:

Breaking news is really breaking me.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Don’t talk to me while my earphones are in, man, I’m at a concert.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Do you ever feel like you’re a white shirt and life is a red wine?

Live now on X:

Your honor, if it pleases the court, here’s Wonderwall.

Trending via WeChat:

Saw the eye doctor, and that’s 90% of the vision test right there.

Going viral on Threads:

Don’t worry password, I’m insecure too.

Seen just now on Messenger:

If my coworker doesn’t stop asking questions on this Zoom meeting, I will drive across town and slap his face on the call.

Trending via YouTube:

My boyfriend moved in with me straight from Hotel Mama. In a way, I’m now a single parent.

Just shared via Messenger:

Trying to squeeze in more nothingness today, but my schedule is already packed with procrastination!

Spotted on Twitch:

At the gym and I forgot my headphones and now I have to listen to my own thoughts. Send help.

The biggest joke on mankind is that computers have started asking humans to prove that they are not robots.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Next thing you know, my toaster will ask for a personality test before making breakfast! 🍞🤖😂"

AI, asking, automation, captcha, computers, humans, humor, joke, mankind, parody, proof, prove, robots, technology

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Mad that so many renaissance artists were named after ninja turtles.

0

2 months ago

absurdity, art, art history, artists, culture, history, humor, mad, ninja, pop, pop culture, renaissance, turtles
Watching 2+ movies a day to prevent a thought from happening.

0

3 weeks ago

2, binge, binge-watching, day, distraction, entertainment, happening, humor, movie, prevent, procrastination, thought, watching
Petition to make check-in at hotels 11am and check-out 3pm, not the other way around. Like, WTF?

0

2 months ago

around, check-in, check-out, checkout, confusion, frustration, hotel, petition, time, travel, WTF
I can’t blame this generation too much for doing stupid stuff. My generation thought seven Police Academy movies were a good idea.

0

2 months ago

academy, blame, comedy, culture, doing, entertainment, film, generation, good, humor, humor quote, i, idea, movy, much, nostalgia, police, police academy, pop, pop culture, stuff, stupid, thought, too
Have you tried complaining about it?

0

2 months ago

advice, complaining, complaint, humor, sarcasm, suggestion, tried
Refusing to attend my brother’s gambling intervention until they agree to call it a slot shaming.

0

2 months ago

addiction, agree, brother, call, family, gambling, humor, intervention, joke, shaming, slot

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

11 shares on Instagram this month:

It should be illegal to take a nap and still have a headache when you wake up. Like, I shut it off and back on again, why are you still here?

28 shares on LinkedIn this month:

There’s poetry in walking away without closing the door too loud.

94 shares on Discord this month:

The sole purpose of your child’s middle name… is so they know when they’re really in trouble.

87 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m going to start reading books again, as soon as I finish the internet.

42 shares on Pinterest this month:

Fitness influencer: It’s important to listen to your body. Body: You’re old. And you want lasagna.

50 shares on Threads this month:

Being awake is the worst.

66 shares on YouTube this month:

Oh, him? He’s my insignificant other.

52 shares on Slack this month:

All income is disposable if you’re brave enough.

40 shares on Slack this month:

I wonder if this next thunderstorm is thinking of me, too.

73 shares on Slack this month:

Some people peak in high school. I peaked when I realized I never had to see them again.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

Home is where the Wi-Fi connects automatically and no one chews loud.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

I made up all these romantic scenarios in my brain and you’re not following the script.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

As long as you don’t ever give them your real name, they can’t accuse you of not keeping the mystery alive in your relationship.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

Woke up feeling not too shabby for a 60-year-old. The only problem is I’m still in my 40s.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

“Autophagy” would be a beautiful name for a girl.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

I believe it was Aristotle who once said “The fastest way to get your kids to stop screaming is to also start screaming.”

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

They should invent a January that doesn’t drain your will to live.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

Please go out, have fun, have friends, make connections. That mysterious lifestyle won’t save you.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

I’m going to get some steel wool so I can crochet myself a new car.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

Goodnight Outlook, goodnight Teams, goodnight Zoom.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Instagram:

“You’re not allowed to be grumpy on a Friday, it’s in the fine print somewhere.”

Going viral on Instagram:

What genius called it road rage and not locomotive?

Going bananas on Snapchat:

When someone dies people say “he’s going to meet his Maker”. No he’s not. God doesn’t mingle with the staff.

Trending via Discord:

They all cheat, lie and manipulate. Just pick the pretty one.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

My neighbors listen to really good music, whether they like it or not.

Making waves on YouTube:

If she reads Bukowski, she’s not looking for love. She’s looking for someone who will ruin her creatively.

Live now on Messenger:

I’m not exaggerating when I say, if I ever clogged a toilet at work, I would immediately quit, change my name, and then move to a different city.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Don’t forget, you are someone’s weird colleague.

Making waves on Discord:

The most important thing to remember when driving is that not everyone is smart.

Shared recently on Discord:

There’s no filter on my pics or my thoughts. I’m just out here raw-dogging it.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The biggest joke on mankind is that computers have started asking humans to prove that they are not robots.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Mad that so many renaissance artists were named after ninja turtles.

Watching 2+ movies a day to prevent a thought from happening.

Petition to make check-in at hotels 11am and check-out 3pm, not the other way around. Like, WTF?

I can’t blame this generation too much for doing stupid stuff. My generation thought seven Police Academy movies were a good idea.

Have you tried complaining about it?

Refusing to attend my brother’s gambling intervention until they agree to call it a slot shaming.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨